Pop quiz, hotshot: How will Tina Fey do in an impromptu quiz on gay culture? Like you even need to ask. The 30 Rock mastermind took home a GLAAD Media Award over the weekend and gamely took part in an onstage test called “Fey on Gay.” The answers were both hilarious and illuminating.
GLAAD Award host and Bravo executive Andy Cohen grilled Fey on The Gay. The Q&A covered everything from best gay neighbors (Jack from Will & Grace) to best time to come out (Halftime at the Super Bowl) and what Bert and Ernie’s status really is (confirmed bachelors, but Telly and Murray are quietly together). But the best bits were some of thoughts on lesbian culture.
Andy Cohen: Rosie O’Donnell, Ellen, Wanda Sykes, Sarah Gilbert, Dinah Shore — why are lesbians so good at hosting talk shows?
Tina Fey: First of all, Dinah Shore is new information to me. AC: I always assumed. I assumed.
TF: She was with Burt Reynolds though, right? Um, so why are lesbians? I would say because lesbians living in the United States, they’re very good at pretending to be interested in the boring stories that straight people tell about their dates and families.
Man, did Tina hit the lesbian nail on the head there. Please, straight co-workers, tell me more about how your second husband would rather golf with his buddies than go antiquing with you. Though, psst, Andy. I don’t think Dinah was a lesbian. At least not according to Alice Pieszecki.
AC: Which TV couple, Tina Fey, do you imagine must have gotten to first base at some point: a) Kate & Allie b) Jane Hathaway and Granny Clampett c) Peppermint Patty and Marcie.
TF: I would put my money — I would suspect that maybe Jane Hathaway and Granny made a poultice one night, drank some moonshine out by the cement pond, both kind of picturing Elly May. Eyes closed, picturing Elly May, and making it work.
What is seen can never be unseen, on unimagined. Oh dear.
AC: In an episode of 30 Rock, Frank unexpectedly fell for Liz’s boy toy Jamie. Liz tells him, “That’s not a thing. You can’t be gay for one person,” which is true I think. But if you, Tina Fey, could be gay for one person on television, who would you dive in the lady pond for?
TF: It’s a hard one. I mean, really, I’ve been asked this in the past. By the way — how many people in this room are just sitting there thinking I need to work on my triceps? Well, me, one. I’ve really been asked this before and my stock answer is usually Oprah. But, uh, I would say maybe Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman.
Sorry, Adrianne Palicki. We will accept no substitute for the star-spangled hotpants.
AC: Which TV lesbian’s fashion sense speaks the most to Tina Fey: a) C.J. Lamb from L.A. Law b) Patty Bouvier from The Simpsons c) Xena the Warrior Princess d) Suze Orman or e) Tila Tequila.
TF: You know, I’m partial to a blazer, so I would maybe say Suze. I like a nice blazer. Also, I like Rachel Maddow’s haircut. The moment 30 Rock gets canceled, I’m getting that haircut. I’ve had it before.
She really, really isn’t lying. Back in her Second City days in Chicago, Tina was sporting something I’d call a shaggy Maddow.
Though while the fun and games were, well, fun, what Tina had to say when picking up the GLAAD Media Award later that night for an episode of 30 Rock was even better.
30 Rock has been very lucky over the last five years to win some other awards, but the thing that I’m most proud of about the show is that it is a truly diverse and inclusive and positive workplace and I take this reward as a reflection of that.
…I want to thank everyone at GLAAD for having such a keen self of humor because jokes are tricky things. And so much what makes the difference between a joke being offensive and being funny is the context it is in and the intention behind it. I so I want to on behalf of everyone at 30 Rock thank everyone at GLAAD for recognizing that from Liz Lemon’s bi-curious shoes to Jenna Maroney’s heterosexual transvestite boyfriend to Will Arnett’s ongoing semi-erotic business rivalry with Alec Baldwin, thank you for recognizing that the show has nothing but respect and admiration for the lesbian, gay and transgender community.
And I hope you will stick with us through next week’s episode where Jack Donaghy buys a struggling cable network called Twinks.
You know, her GLAAD Media Award is great, as are the boatload of Emmys and Golden Globes she has on her shelf. And, yes, she did take the No. 1 spot in the 2008 AfterEllen.com Hot 100 List. (An honor she was quite flattered by, and mentioned on Conan.) But for her long history of strongly supporting and lovingly tweaking the gay community, I feel we can do more. Like, given her affinity for them, I think an honorary blazer is clearly in order.