TV is full of characters we adore. Women we find so irresistible we wish they were real so we could ask them out, fall in love and live happily ever after together. But some of our swooning is perhaps ill advised if you really look what you’re getting into. In fact, many of TV’s loveliest ladies are terrible girlfriend material. These are not women we recommend settling down with, for a variety of reasons. So as a public service, my friend Heather Hogan and I have compiled a list of 25 TV characters you should not date. Watch your hearts, these women will only break them — or worse.
Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Why Not: Because when she’s not nagging you to death or spilling the details of your latest sexcapade in Vogue, she’ll be spending all your money on shoes. (Impractical shoes, at that!)
Clarice Willow, Caprica
Why Not: Because loving a cult leader is all sex games and giggles until she throws a television into your bubble bath.
Jill Roberts, Chuck
Why Not: Because she’s a good guy. No, wait — she’s a bad guy. No, a good guy. No, a bad guy. A good guy? She may look like Lucy Diamond, but Jill is legitimately evil.
Why Not: Because she is a giant. Because she is not Naomi. Because she eats babies.