“Skins” recap (1.05): Sandcastles In The Sand

We’ve got another super-short recap this week, guys. There was some really honest, really mature discussion about sexual fluidity in the comments of last week’s recap, and it made me super happy. And once I get my head wrapped around what’s happening with Tea, I hope I can contribute to that dialogue as well. But Tea wasn’t involved too much this week, and if I understand it correctly, most of you guys want to — POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT — be the driver of the bus that runs Tony down at the end of the season. If the story unfolds the same way as it did in the UK. Which is entirely possible. (Nay, probable?)

It’s a roller coaster of adoration and awkwardness, trying to love this show. “Stanley” was the fifth episode of the season, the halfway point, and I thought after last week’s stellar original episode, maybe Skins had found its footing. Oh, but it’s still slippery out here. We’re back to the remakes this week, and I get it, I do. I watched the evolution of The Office, and I understand Skins has to develop its young writing staff, but man, “Tea” and “Cadie” were just so damn good.

This week, Stanley’s slack-off ways finally catch up with him when his parents find out that if he misses school anymore he’s going to get kicked out. His dad decides the best course of action is to “treat him like an imbecile,” and so Stanley decides his best course of action is to steal his dad’s car and drive all over the world trying to get into Michelle’s pants. Daisy says his parents are going to kill him, and not even in a fit of rage. They’re just going to euthanize him.

Stanley drives Michelle to Tony’s choir concert where she gets into a full-on brawl with Tony’s stage girlfriend. And so Stanley drives her home and she kisses him on the mouth to get back at Tony. Once he’s home, Tony calls him and he drags himself out of bed again to go pick him up from his late-night hooliganism. Stanley’s dad’s car blows up on a “shortcut” through an Air Force base and for some reason Stanley doesn’t clock Tony for instigating the whole mess.

Stanley’s dad decides to go ahead and press charges, because that’s what the Skins Parental Manual told him to do. (Parenthetically, how great are Franky’s and Rich’s parents on this season of UK Skins? I love those guys!) Tea and Daisy rescue Tony and take him to a beach bender. What time of the year is it in Skins land? I never know. And that’s where we find that Betty is still alive! HI, BETTY!

Betty is building a sand castle, and Tea brings her a drink and says, “That’s a really sh–ty sandcastle” which is the kind of pick-up line that would win me over in a millisecond. AutoSnog, I’m serious. Just when they’re starting to get cute — because they’re starting to get cute, probably — Tony clomps up and stomps on the sand castle. Nah, he just goes, “Tea, could we talk somewhere, privately?” Betty seems to know what’s up, so she volunteers to leave because the sun is getting “serious.” Tea’s like, “No. Not serious. It was never serious. Right, Tony?” The poor lamb really is confused.

Now that he’s peed on Tea’s leg, Tony goes on over to pee on Michelle’s leg. She’s dancing with Stanley, so he probably gets marked too.

In court, the judge tells Stanley to break the cycle of being a bastard in his family. Stanley’s mom splits and Stanley finally has a real conversation with his dad about how he’s a total wanker.

Next week’s preview make it looks like Tea is going to sleep with Tony. So I’m sure we’ll have a whole lot to talk about on Tuesday.

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