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“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: Episode 10 – “Adrift and At Peace”

It is a lovely non-rainy morning in Seattle so Derek is packing a cooler for his fishing trip with Cristina. Wait, what? When did Derek and Cristina become BFFs? Meredith is also shocked by her hubby’s bromance with her soul mate. Meredith doesn’t believe that Cristina is going to actually show up and actually go outside in the wilderness and actually pee on the ground rather than in a proper toilet. If any of you enjoy urinating outside, then you need to seek help immediately.

Callie and McSteamy are taking their morning shower together.

Umm, gross. McSteamy politely asks Callie for morning sex but Callie says that sex with him makes her think of Arizona and that makes her sad. (That makes me super sad.) McSteamy says he understands because when he has sex with Callie it makes him think of Lexie. Do these two know that it’s an option to not have sex with each other? There are other hobbies out there like knitting, scuba diving, photography, throwing boomerangs, etc.

Callie gets upset with McSteamy for thinking of Lexie while they’re doing “it” because it’s rude to think of someone else during sex. Callie kicks McSteamy out of the shower. I don’t care if group showering saves on water; these two need to shower at different times, preferably in different apartments located in different cities.

Back to friends that aren’t sleeping together, as Derek and Owen load up the fishing equipment in the car Cristina and Meredith stand in the living room staring at each other in silence.  Awkward!

Meredith reminds Cristina that there are no bathrooms out on the lake and Cristina says she knows and then exits.  Cristina should use Meredith’s bathroom before she goes.  Cristina, come back!  Just pee really quickly.  Please for me!

Lexie, April and Avery watch Bailey and the Chief remove a patient’s gallbladder through his mouth, which will leave no scar.

Bailey asks if Lexie wants to do a surgery like that and of course she says “duh!” Actually she says “yes” but since this is a medical show I figured a “duh” would have also been an appropriate response to Bailey’s question.  Bailey makes up a competition for Avery, April and Lexie and the winner will get to pull a gallbladder out of someone’s mouth. That’s an odd prize. Here are five things I’d rather “pull out” of something:

5. A rabbit out of a hat.

4. Our troops from Afghanistan.

3. A tooth from Rush Limbaugh’s mouth without Novocain.

2. Kim Zolciak “hair” off her head. So I can smell, hug and kiss her wig then give it back.

1. Mr. Duggar’s penis from Mrs. Duggar’s vagina. Seriously, 19 children are enough!

Teddy climbs in the elevator with Meredith and Owen and finds out that Cristina is fishing, to which Teddy responds, “Why?”

Yes, Cristina, why are you fishing? Why do you hate fish and want to kill them? 

Meredith and Owen exit and Teddy is left in the elevator with a wheelchair-bound Scott Foley from Felicity aka the ex-Mr. Jennifer Garner. Foley is going to propose to his girlfriend but most likely she’ll leave him for Ben Affleck.

Alex asks to work with Callie or McSteamy’s because Arizona’s replacement, Dr. Stark, hates him. Then Callie and Alex make fun of Arizona and say she’s going to make the children of Malawi fall in love with her then leave them and run off to another country.

McSteamy sees Lexie and tells her he misses her. Lexie blows him off but I have a feeling this is just part of their cat and mouse chase. Watch, by the end of this episode they will be playing tonsil hockey.

Owen and Meredith are working together on a couple named Jason and Trina who fell 100 feet into a ravine. Jason and Trina were on their honeymoon and were taking a photo together and fell. This is why you shouldn’t hike or do anything strenuous. You run less risk of injuring yourself if you’re sitting in a lounge chair eating ice cream.

Trina is fine, with only a lacerated ear, but her husband, who broke her fall, has massive internal bleeding. Meredith and Owen work frantically on Jason while Cristina and Derek fish at the lake. Yep, fishing. Real exciting. What’s that in the water? Oh nothing, just more water.

Teddy runs into the ex-Mr. Garner again and guess what? His girlfriend turned down his proposal. Foley 0, Affleck 2! It turns out that Foley was only proposing to his lady-friend to acquire her insurance plan because he needs the medical coverage. Aw, how romantic! Teddy decides to find a way to help Foley because well, that’s the plot Shonda Rhimes gave her this week. 

Owen and Meredith are fighting for Jason’s life and Owen can’t figure out what to do next. Owen says that Jason’s injury is fatal and it looks like he has given up. Meredith says they have to find a way to save him. Meredith keeps harassing Owen for a plan of action. Owen finally has an idea and starts working on Jason again. Owen then scolds Meredith for talking to him that way in the OR. Whatever Owen! Meredith totally just saved your patient’s life while you were going to let him bleed to death. Owen and April should take a one-way rocket ship to the moon.

Back on the boat, Cristina wants Derek to quiz her on all the fishing equipment. She’s memorized it all as if it were medical equipment. Derek refuses to play along and asks her to be quiet since the fish are being scared away by her yapping. But Cristina can’t stop talking and giving her opinion on how to fish more efficiently.

Back on land, Teddy asks the Chief to do the ex-Mr. Garner’s medical treatment pro bono. The Chief says he’ll speak to the Board.

A competitive Lexie tries to force a male nurse to reinsert a tube into her patient’s adrenal gland in the hopes that she’ll win the competition and get to pull a gallbladder out of someone’s mouth. The male nurse tells her no. The nurse tells Lexie that he’s been at Seattle Grace for 12 years and she’s just a resident. Oh snap! The once again brunette Lexie isn’t going to take no for an answer so she enlists McSteamy to help her. McSteamy says he’ll talk to the nurse if Lexie agrees to have a drink with him. At first Lexie says no but guess what? They set a drink date for Joe’s bar later that night.

McSteamy talks to the nurse, the nurse still won’t re-insert the tube into the adrenal gland. But since McSteamy fulfilled his end of the bargain, the date is still on. Make sure you shave your legs Lexie; I have a feeling McSteamy wants more than a drink. Good thing the male nurse didn’t listen to you because by taking his advice her patient is healed and she wins the competition!

Owen asks Meredith to operate but then decides she must stop abruptly. Meredith ignores him and kicks working on the patient, so Owen kicks Meredith out if his OR for disobeying his orders. Meredith storms off and calls Derek and demands to speak to Cristina. Derek pretends he’s talking to April and hangs up on Meredith. Cristina knows Derek was on the phone with Meredith and, suddenly, Cristina’s line starts to spin. Cristina is screaming with excitement and Derek helps her catch her very first fish.

Callie and Alex are working on a hip replacement surgery and Callie offers to train Alex to be her protégé. Alex agrees. 

Meredith walks back into the OR asks to speak to Owen. Owen asks everyone who is cleaning up to leave. Yes, leave all the blood and guts on the floor so it dries up and gets crusty. Hey Meredith why don’t you and Owen go outside to talk so the rest of the staff can do their jobs?  And why does this upset me?

Owen and Meredith start fighting, again.

Owen says Meredith is reckless with her patients and reckless with Cristina and he doesn’t want Meredith to be around Cristina while she’s trying to heal herself. Meredith says it’s Owen’s fault that Cristina has fallen apart because he married her, which allowed her to hide behind their relationship rather than deal with her fears. These two just need to arm wrestle and the winner gets Cristina.

Derek and Cristina are back on land and Cristina is excited about the 28-pound fish that she caught. Derek tells her that she has to take a picture with the fish to remember this moment. Cristina stands proudly with the flapping fish in her hands but then she starts to cry. She should cry! She just killed a live animal and she still doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life.

Alex tells Callie that she’s going back to work with Dr. Stark in pediatrics. That was the shortest training session ever. Alex was Callie’s protégé for like 12 minutes. But who’s really surprised? We all know that bad-boy Alex has a soft side and loves the kiddies.

The Chief and Teddy meet with the Board and they refuse to give pro bono treatment to Scott Foley. They have done all they can do and they have to send Foley home. Teddy feels really bad and tells Foley how sorry she is that she couldn’t help him. Foley says he understands. But Teddy doesn’t want to give up this fight so she tells Foley that she has great medical insurance. Yeah, so does Ben Affleck. The Screen Actors Guild has terrific medical coverage.

Teddy offers to marry Foley and therefore he’ll be covered under her insurance plan. Wait, what? Teddy, do NOT do this! You don’t even know him. You haven’t even dined with him in the cafeteria.  Foley says no thank you but Teddy says, “Henry you’re dying. And you don’t have to ‘cuz I can help. I mean it I’ll marry you.”

Then Foley agrees. I bet he does. A hot doctor offers to marry you and save your dying ass. Christmas comes early for ex-Mr. Garner.

Lexie shows up at Joe’s Bar to meet McSteamy. Lexie wants him to leave her alone but because McSteamy is McSteamy, he kisses Lexie and Lexie is entranced by his McSteamyness.

Cristina arrives home with her bucket of fish and puts the photo of herself on the fridge. R.I.P. little fishy fish.

Meredith and Derek lie in bed and of course Meredith wants to talk about Cristina. Meredith, “Do you think Cristina is going to be ok?”

Translation, “Do you think Cristina loves me the way I love her? Why are you spooning me? I’m gay!”

Callie is at McSteamy’s apartment drinking a glass of wine and there is a knock at the door. Callie thinks McSteamy forgot his key and when she opens the front door she sees Arizona.

Arizona: OK, so picture this: I’m in Africa and everything is great. And the people are so nice and the clinic is amazing and I’m doing work that actual feels important. Like I can actually see that I’m making a difference but I’m crying like constantly and this guy that I work with in the clinic finally asks me what’s wrong and I say that I miss my girlfriend. Like I really miss her. So then he asks if I want to go back and he says he can replace me and I open my mouth to say “no” and what comes out, weirdly, instead is “yes.” And so they did and then I came back. You look really pretty.

Callie pauses, looks at Arizona’s beautiful teary face and closes the door locking Arizona outside in the hallway.

Arizona you’ll catch cold standing in that hallway, come over to my place and I’ll make you nice cup of hot chocolate and give you a topless back rub.

Who can’t wait for the next episode? ME!

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