Do you need a little Christmas, right this very minute? Or maybe you’re celebrating Hanukkah. Either way, it’s time to bring out the good old holiday films and special TV episodes that make you feel cheery, teary or charitable. Everyone has one they love, so let’s share, just in case we’ve missed out on what could be a new favorite.
Courtney Gillette: If there’s any holiday special I’m actually gonna sit my cynical self down to watch, it’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas. The original 1966 animated version, mind you, not the live action disaster that went down with Jim Carey in 2000. Because, really, I sympathize with the Grinch as much as I sympathize with the Whos of Whoville.
When Christmas and holiday stuff starts crowding the aisles, like, the minute I take off my Halloween costume, I think the Grinch might be on to something: that awful, wonderful, awful idea. But then! Then I watch this special for its full twenty two minutes, and the Whos, man. The Whos are a good people. You can’t steal Christmas from them! They are Christmas!
And when the Grinch is standing on that hill, and they show how his heart grows three sizes and bursts right out of the little gold x-ray wand box? Pass me the tissues and give me a Santa hat. Also: The Whos look like the kind of people who would be super cool to the gays. Gay marriage? Adopt kids? Of course! Here’s a jing tingler and a slu slumker to go with your civil rights. Whoville = love.
Dorothy Snarker: By now, I’m assuming you’ve all heard of the most famous reindeer of all. Sure, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has a very shiny nose, but what he and his classic TV special really had was the quintessential underdog story. First aired in 1964, the holiday show has become an annual tradition in countless households. What makes it stand out, besides its signature stop-motion animation, is its championing of the misfit. A reindeer with a red nose and speech impediment? An impeccably coifed elf who wants to be a dentist? An entire island of lonely, abandoned misfit toys? How could the little gay kid in all of us not relate?
Each year I look forward to singing along to “We’re a Couple of Misfits.” I’ve been known to clap when all the misfit toys make it onto Santa’s sleigh and find happy homes. And I rejoice when Hermey finally got to open his dental office (p.s. Hermey is so gay. So gay.) Though, one thing continues to perplex me even after all these years. What the hell was wrong with the doll on the Island of the Misfit Toys?
Grace Chu: In late 1996, a friend summoned a small group into her dorm room. She herded us around her computer and played a small Quicktime movie. It was a cartoon whose characters appeared to be cut from construction paper. The short film, The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus v. Santa, was set in a fictional town called South Park and revolved around the antics of four boys named Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. They had nasally voices and foul mouths. Jesus and Santa were fighting, Mortal Kombat style. The boy named Kenny died in the ensuing melee. Figure skater Brian Boitano made an appearance and brokered a peace treaty. It was the best thing I had ever seen.
Comedy Central was impressed as well, and the networked hired the creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, to develop the television series South Park, which debuted in 1997.
the linster: Elf is warm and funny and innocent and absurd — just like the holidays. It makes your eyes light up when you remember it. It is the polar opposite of cynicism, which is way too easy to find this time of year. It also has Zooey Deschanel.
I suppose every movie about a misfit learning who he is and trying to fit into the world serves as a metaphor for LGBT life. But Buddy, in particular, reminds me of myself when I first came out: stumbling through gay culture, asking inappropriate questions and trying to find a place for myself. I was a cotton-headed ninny-muggins then – and now.
More importantly, though, Elf makes me laugh – every time I watch it – in that throw your head back, whole body kind of way that starts in your belly and scares the cats when it comes out. It’s a movie that can change your whole day – your whole holiday season, in fact. It makes me smile, and smiling’s my favorite.
And here’s a secret: If you want to win my heart, ask me to go make snow angels, then go ice skating, then eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, then snuggle. Perfect.
Jamie Murnane: The Family Stone stars some of my favorite people in the world, whom I’ve never met and never will: Sarah Jessica Parker, Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton and Claire Danes (and some decent guys, like Dermot Mulroney and Luke Wilson). That, initially, is what drew me to this 2005 holiday movie. But, what keeps me coming back to watch it every year (usually multiple times), is that the characters are real, sometimes dysfunctional people. There’s uptight SJP’s Meredith, snarky NPR-loving McAdams, and of course, the gay, interracial couple with the newly adopted baby.
They’re all couped up in the Stones’ house for the holidays, dealing with some serious, and some not-so-serious issues. It’s total chaos that ranges from hysterical (SJP getting drunk in the dive bar) to touching (her unknowingly emotional gift to the family). The film is not trying to convey some insanely impossible family holiday moment, but reminds us that no family is perfect and how boring it would be if they were.
Drummerdeeds: As an atheist Hindu (I know I’m full of it, but I think it sounds cool), I love nothing more around the holiday season than curling up with spiked eggnog and watching the 1990 classic, Home Alone. Everything from the infamous aftershave scene, to “Buzz’s girlfriend – woof!” and the awesome score (I’m a band geek), this movie is made of pure win. Plus, Macaulay Culkin (with a name like that, no wonder he sued his parents) has always looked like a lesbian, so, in my opinion, the movie should be classified as “lesbian-ish.” And, thanks to the film, whenever carolers and other unwanted solicitors come to my doorstep I promptly say, “I’m gonna give you the count of 10 to get your ugly, yelluh, no good keister off my property before I…” Just kidding, of course. Happy holidays, everyone!
Lesley Goldberg: Since I can’t marathon A Christmas Story or Love Actually with Mia or Hoagie this year, I’ll go the TV route. Friends has some of the funniest holiday-themed episodes ever. Think “The Holiday Armadillo,” where Ross and company attempt to teach Ben about Hanukkah and the single dad winds up in the most asenine costume ever only to be outdone by Chandler’s Santa Claus (and Joey’s Superman); and “The One Where Rachel Quits,” which features a super cute B-story where Phoebe learns what happens to the Christmas trees that aren’t taken home for the holidays (hint: the chipper!).
But my most favorite holiday TV episode is “So-Called Angels,” from My So-Called Life. When Rickie is abandoned by his abusive uncle, angelic guest star Juliana Hatfield teaches Mrs. Chase the true spirit of Christmas and she opens her home to Angela’s gay friend in need. It’s one of the finest hours of television from a show that wasn’t known for tugging at viewers’ heartstrings.
Heather Hogan: Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about Hugh Grant thinking about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me – probably because I watch Love Actually six times a year (three times at Christmas) – that love is everywhere.
Love Actually has something for everyone. There’s Young Love (“She’s the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she’s heaven.”), New Love (“I know I seems an insane person because I hardly knows you, but sometimes things are so transparent they don’t need evidential proof.”), Inexplicable Love (“The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.”), Impossible Love (“Enough. Enough for now.”), a swoon-inducing score, and the absolute perfect string of swear words that serve as the opening lines of dialogue (“F–k, wank, bugger, s–tting, arse, head and hole!”).
Love Actually isn’t just the perfect holiday movie; it is the perfect movie, full-stop.
Oh, and P.S. There’s a whole lesbian storyline in the deleted scenes. It’s sweet and poignant and pretty much the most heartbreaking thing ever. I’d suggest watching it after the holidays.
Karman Kregloe: I have a real appreciation for Billy Bob Thornton. Yes, I’ve read all of the stories that suggest he’s an a-hole, and I know the idea of screwing up a relationship with Angelina Jolie is something most lesbians would find to be pretty unforgivable. But I can’t help it. I like him and most of his movies, including Sling Blade, A Simple Plan, Dead Man and One False Move.
So imagine my delight when Thornton added a holiday movie to his oeuvre. In Bad Santa, Thornton plays a … Bad Santa. He drinks on the job, hates kids, and steals from department stores. He’s a human Grinch with 5 o’ clock shadow and a beater car full of empty booze bottles. Of course it’s a redemption tale, but a darkly hilarious one. And if the prospect of watching Billy Bob scream at children isn’t as appealing to you as it is to me, you Gilmore Girls fans can watch it just to see Lauren Graham play a sex-crazed, Bad Santa-humping freak. You’re welcome!
Trish Bendix: My favorite Christmas movie in recent years is A Christmas Tale, which comes complete with a lesbian grandma in a tie. I kid you not! It’s a French holiday film about a family coming together for their last holiday with their mom, who is dying of cancer. Not super feel good, but a very compelling film.
What’s your favorite thing to watch this time of year?
