Let’s start here: If you like the subtle, nuanced handling of dramatic themes, Glee isn’t your show. But if you like your message written large with its own band, spontaneous choreography, and Heather Morris dancing backup, well, then, welcome to my world.
And welcome to this week’s episode, “Special Education,” where Will asks the Bambi-eyed Emma to come to sectionals with him, and starts raving about his set list.
“Let me guess,” she says. “Finn and Rachel are going to do a ballad, followed by the kids doing a classic rock number where Mercedes will belt out the last, jaw-dropping note.”
He asks if she’s been rifling through his desk, but she says no. “It’s what you always do.” Then she tells him he has a whole constellation of stars, and maybe he should let them shine.
Will takes her words to heart and gives the leads in their opening number to the world’s blondest couple, Quinn and Sam, instead of Rachel and Finn. He also recognizes that Brittany’s and Mike Chang’s dance moves could not only win Sectionals, but possibly cure world hunger.
Turns out they’re going to be center stage, leveraging one of New Directions’ advantages over the Hipsters and the Warblers, which is dancing. Seems Will thinks the Hipsters, a group of senior citizens who went back to high school to get their GEDs, are more likely to bust a hip than a move, and the Warblers, as is painfully obvious if you stop watching Blaine and check out his backup boys, all have sticks up their butts.
Then he breaks the news to the glee kids. Rachel flares up at him giving the ballad to “Ken and Barbie,” and Barbie bites back.
“You used to be just sort of unlikable,” Quinn says, “but now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth.”
Santana’s had enough, too, and, just as we all saw coming, tells Rachel that she and Finn had sex last year. Mr. Schue shuts it all down by saying his plan is final and telling them to deal.
Kurt, in the meantime, has put on the Dalton Academy uniform (oh, Kurt, I will die without your little fashion shows!) and attended his first meeting of the Dalton Warblers. His glee (sorry) at being in a warm and welcoming environment is written all over his face.
The Warblers have a tradition: The newest member has to care for Pavarotti, the latest in a long line of canaries representing the spirit of the group. “That bird is your voice,” they say.
Kurt assures them that he’ll take Pavarotti everywhere, including his job in a stray cat rescue group at the bottom of a coal mine.
Seems these boys don’t only have sticks up their butts when they’re dancing, because they do not laugh. They did not appreciate Kurt’s humor. Which will mean they won’t appreciate Kurt. And this, my friends, is not good.
And as quick as you can say, “Kurt Hummel is my favorite character,” they’re very politely shooting down Kurt’s ideas for giving their Sectionals set some “show biz pizzazz.” If Dalton Academy were a real place, I would go there now and be very, very intolerant of them.