“Glee” Episode 207 Recap: Darn those noisy bisexual primates of Borneo

Last night’s episode of Glee had me at "Conjunction Junction."

And it could have kept me, too, with just 10 seconds of Brittana, but no. Instead we got Mr. Schuester having sick sex with his ex. (By "sick" I mean an actual virus, not perversion – although on second thought, I mean both.)

We also, fortunately, got us some Kurt and Blaine, and much subtextual gayness as well, but for lesbians, there wasn’t much beyond the beautiful Gwyneth Paltrow as substitute teacher Miss Holly Holliday, and Sue Sylvester using the word"bisexual" in a sentence.

Oh, and Rachel and Miss Holliday channeling Chita Rivera and Gwen Verdon from Chicago. If that counts, which I’m not sure it does, given their lack of chemistry.

The episode opens with a super-gross scene in which Lauren (Ashley Fink) is prompted by a masked-and-gloved Sue to sneeze an infectious dose of Borneo bisexual primate virus all over Principal Figgins. (I hate when that happens.)

With Figgins incapacitated, a clause in Sue’s contract, negotiated when she blackmailed a member of the town council, makes her principal. Her first mission, she tells Will, is to destroy the Glee Club.

"I thought we were friends," he whimpers.

"That got boring," says Sue. (For us too, Sue.)

Will ends up getting the virus, and before crawling home to his bed, he hallucinates the whole class as little grade-school versions of themselves. Naturally this scene was impossibly adorable, and for that reason has already been discussed, video-ized, Facebooked,Tweeted, screen-capped, analyzed and for all I know, had an extensive fan fiction oeuvre developed for it, already. It would most likely be entirely gratuitous for me to add to that beyond saying that, while adult-Rachel is not my favorite character, mini-Rachel was my favorite mini-character.

Anyway, with Mr. Schue out for a while, Rachel steps up to lead New Directions, prompting the show’s hottest moment, Santana surging up out of her chair to kill her while her fellow Glee Clubbers hold her back. (Rewind, rewind.)

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