“The Good Wife” mini-cap: “Poisoned Pill”

In the latest episode of The Good Wife, the war between private investigators Kalinda and Blake at Lockhart, Gardner & Bond (LGB) rages on in full force, and this time the gloves are coming off. Along the way, we have the honor and privilege of looking into Kalinda’s past, which includes none other than Lili Taylor as Donna. Yeah, that Donna, who, last season, set off our Kalinda-is-queer radar when she answered the phone at Kalinda’s house. Watch out, folks, because the law just got a million times hotter.

Blake drops in on Kalinda as she’s analyzing the contraband she “procured” from his car, and by “procured” I mean she took a Louisville Slugger to both of his headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires, and sent a clear message to her arch nemesis at LGB that maybe next time he’ll think before he snoops into her past, because she’s got a lot of dirt on him. Little does she know, though, Blake has some exposing of his own to do.

Has Kalinda ever heard of the Illinois Lesbian & Gay Law Association? They just put out a ranking system on firms’ hiring of LGBT people, and their very own LGB did terribly, even though Blake knows for a fact that there are gay associates at the firm. But why, Blake wonders, in this day and age, would someone not be upfront about his or her sexual orientation?

Kalinda snidely responds, “Are you coming out?” Blake chuckles it off and warns Kalinda that “people” shouldn’t keep secrets — because it only encourages others to go looking for information. Once Blake is out of Kalinda’s office, she quickly phones a friend and says that they need to talk.

What up, Donna? Kalinda pays a visit to the Public Defender’s office and immediately interrogates her: Are you talking to somebody? An investigator named Blake? Do you know what this could do to my reputation? Donna, accustomed to Kalinda’s cruel ways retorts, “Four months, and this is what you come to talk to me about?” Kalinda feels dumb and gently asks, “How are you?” Way to go, Sharma, the regular Humanitarian of the Year.

Donna can’t be bothered right now because she has an incredibly important case to attend to — Mr. Bay, charged with indecent exposure and public masturbation. She reasons with the judge that it was cold and he was merely warming his  shivering and, therefore, shaking hands. Ha! Judge Judy (or whomever) releases Mr. Bay, who then happily traipses off with his hands back in his pockets to — er — warm them up. Gee, you’re welcome.

Kalinda, who has been watching, tells Donna that she could make a lot of money if she went over to the private sector, but why would Donna leave when she meets interesting people like Mr. Bay?

Getting down to business, Donna assures Kalinda that she’s not been talking to anybody, and if that Blake character comes around, she won’t reveal her secrets — you know, that she can be heartless and insensitive, that self-preservation is her #1 concern, and how after four months, she can barely say “hello.” No way, she won’t tell him any of that. Burn.

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