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“The Talk” premieres with some vagina issues

Last July, I sat in a room full of fellow television critics and listened to CBS roll out their new daily show, The Talk, created by Sara Gilbert. Today, that show finally debuted, aimed at mothers who were either fans of As the World Turns (which formerly occupied the time slot), or fans of shows like The View, where women are the hosts and discuss issues important to them.

The hosts – Gilbert, Holly Robinson-Peete, Julie Chen, Sharon Osbourne and Leah Remini with occasional reports from Marissa Jaret Winokur – are an opinionated crew, which was visible on stage at TCA, and also in the pilot I received. I knew it would be interesting to compare what had worked for them in the initial stages to what they changed for the live broadcast. So here’s what went down, with #leztalk Tweeters giving their opinions too.

The first half hour of today’s episode was dedicated to discussing the show itself. Each of the women had video messages from family members wishing them good luck. For lesbian Sara Gilbert, it was her two children, Sawyer and Levi, and boy were they adorable. Sara looked great, herself, but said she was nervous and joked that she hoped her shirt was on right. She also noted that Roseanne debuted the same date in 1988.

The show’s first ever guest was Christine Brinkley, who talked with Leah, Julie and Sharon about Botox, fitness and her divorce from Billy Joel. It wasn’t very exciting, and the women were talking over one another. And when the discussion turned to bullying (by way of Sharon), there was no mention of bullying gay kids. Instead, it was about the bullying of celebs like Christie’s daughter Alexa Ray Joel.

I had to ask, what did lesbian moms on Twitter think?

The most interesting segment was straight out of the pilot. It was Marisa’s “Mom on the Street” segment in which she asked the opinions of sex therapists and regular old moms as to when she should have the sex talk with her son, who is now two years old.

According to sex therapists, you should use the actual words “penis and vagina.” What was cut from the pilot was Marisa’s full reaction: “I am fine with using penis – I say wash your penis,’ but vagina sounds so clinical.” On today’s episode, we only hear “Vagina sounds so clinical.”

Back on the couch, Leah can’t get over the idea that she has to call her vagina a vagina. “That’s disgusting!” She says this in the pilot and on today’s show, so her co-hosts were likely prepared. Sara Gilbert was probably thinking “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!” but stays pretty silent until she mentions that keeping silent on a subject makes it more of a mystery. Hmm, reminds me of a related topic, like discussing homosexuality.

Leah says she has her daughter refer to her vagina as her “cupcake.” Twitter lesbians were set abuzz by this.

Wait, was that last one by Leah Remini?

That chat about vaginas and cupcakes ended today’s episode. But the original pilot I screened was much more substantive (and was likely a lot longer than one hour). The original pilot may not have given viewers a very good idea of what the show would be like, if today’s debut is any indication. For example, in the original pilot, the stars take their video cameras into their homes, including Sara’s. She asks a hygiene question about her daughter using her son’s old toothbrush, complete with 3-year-old Sawyer pleading, “Don’t take it away!”

There was also talk about losing baby weight in the original pilot:

Sara: Literally two weeks afer I had a baby, I was skinnier than I have ever been.

Julie: How is that possible?

Leah: Because she’s a bitch!

They also took on much more in-depth topics, such as Ted Haggard and the beginning of his new church, the controversial sexualized dancing of fifth grade girls that included a debate with their parents and a discussion of spoiled children, which got a little heated.

There was no discussion of anything particularly gay in the pilot, except Julie mentioning that they all had husbands, “except Sara, who has a girlfriend.” In today’s episode, the co-hosts seemed to be more perplexed by the fact that Sara is a vegetarian.

It’s hard to tell what will happen with The Talk, but the following things are sure to happen: you’ll agree with some things, hate others, and likely find it most helpful if you’re a mom. Or if you’re this Tweeter.

The Talk airs Monday through Friday at 2 p.m. EST on CBS.

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