At this point, there have been 542,983 Real World/Road Rules challenges on MTV (even though Road Rules no longer exists), which follow the exact same formulaic, predictable trajectory: big, beefy dudes hopped up on roids assert their masculinity, friends and lovers are betrayed, and everyone gets it on.
Why, then, do we continue to watch the ever-growing cesspool of STDs and muscle milk? Simple: athletic women. Ipso facto, the Challenge is actually a contest to see who can out-dyke the other dykes and emerge victorious as the dykiest of all the softball/rugby/tennis-playing dykes in the land.
On Oct. 6, MTV takes us to Prague for Cutthroat, a brand-new challenge filled with a shocking combination of each and every one of the elements mentioned above, including a green cast of gay and gayish women. Let’s take a look, shall we?
The show should clearly be called “Tongue-Down-Your-Throat” instead, because of the enormous and expected amount of spit-swappage going down. According to one of the competitors, “Every girl’s a little bit bi,” and, coincidentally, there are at least five queer ladies to help prove that theory.
First, we have Ayiiia Elizarraras, the temper-tantrum-prone roommate from Real World: Cancun, who since has come out as queer. Little is known about her athletic abilities, but we all remember the prowess with which she bedded roommates Emilee and Jonna, so if there’s a prize for kissing castmates, Ayiiia just might win it.