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“True Blood” mini-cap 3.11 “Fresh Blood”

We’re only one episode away from the finale, so we have a ton of questions that need answering in a very short amount of time. Should Sookie trust Bill or Eric? Will Eric die by Russell’s hand? Will we ever see the Queen get down with Hadley?

Well this week, we still aren’t sure, but yet we watch, hoping and wishing, and thinking that maybe, if V were real, we’d give it a go if that meant we could be in touch with our dead ancestors and get really good at sports.

Bill senses Sookie’s danger and shows up at Fangtasia. Pam insists she’s not there, but that she had came by uninvited “I don’t think she wants you anymore,” Pam said. Bill doesn’t take this well. “Get a clue, Bill, I’m not the enemy,” Pam tells him. “This is not just about your relationship, you infatuated Tween. There’s a bigger picture.” Not for Bill, though, who then throws her to the floor. But she comes prepared with her own silver spray. Sorry Bill! Didn’t get you get the memo? Pam is fierce.

In the basement, Sookie begins hearing thoughts of a foreign woman. It’s Yvetta, who traipses down the stairs to help free her fellow human. “I thought you were on Eric’s team,” Sookie says as Yvetta undoes the chains. Yvetta says she hates him “and that bitch Pam.” “You’re preaching to the choir!” Sookie says. “Get me out of this hole!”

They find Pam on top of Bill and Yvetta is able to secure Pam in a silver chain. Bill seems to be recovering OK so Sookie takes the silver spray to Pam’s face and threatens her with it. She wants to know why she was put in the basement. “You were supposed to be a gift for Edgington. Now we’re all going to die because of you, you freaky little human.”

Bill says they have to leave before Eric gets back. “Don’t leave me alone with this idiot immigrant!” Pam pleads. “Idiot?” Yvetta says with a laugh. “I am cardiologist!”

Jesus wants to do V again and Lafayette says no – “We could end up in Hell or South Dakota.” He’s right – he is still tripping on some aftershocks and Jesus’ head turns into some freaky dragon face.

Lafayette is so spooked that he asks Jesus to go home for the night. Yes, Lafayette turned away some man candy – he’s obviously not himself.

Crystal is trying to explain to Jason that she’s a were-panther. “I told you I had secrets and you said you didn’t care.” “I thought it was shoplifting or something!” Jason said. “I was ready to sign up for a meth dealer’s daughter.” “OK just keep blaming me for things that ain’t my fault,” Crystal said. “All I gotta do is marry my half-brother and let him breed me till I’m old or dead!” She wins in the “sh—y life” department.

Hoyt is feeling real good, which Jessica says is the V talking. She wants him to know the truth about her, so she divulges that she killed a trucker. “I’m sure you had to,” Hoyt said, but Jessica stays strong: “I didn’t.”

Not only has she drunk human blood, but she likes it and she doesn’t want to stop. “This is what I really am!” she tells her boyfriend, and he decides she can drink his blood, right then and there. You don’t gotta tell her twice!

Russell is having trouble “switching tenses” when it comes to Talbot. He’s dead now, so he can no longer “adore” something. Eric doesn’t really care, but obliges Russell in explaining to the King why he killed his lover. Russell’s response? LOL. “My, my – to lose the one man I ever loved because you missed your mommy and daddy? That is a kick in the pants!” He’s pretty heartless, that’s for sure.

Eric says they’re even now, but Russell tells him not to beg for mercy. “Eric, you’re nothing but a lump of muscle with a blood grudge.” The lump of muscle tells Russell he can help him to walk in the sun. “If I’m wrong, kill me tomorrow.” The King is intrigued. “Clever boy, to tempt me.” Eric gets a phone call.

“Not a good time.” It’s Pam. “No s–t. Bill and Sookie escaped and Yvetta took the cash.” Ginger is gingerly removing the silver chains from around Pam’s feet. “I need a drink,” Pam says, and she takes Ginger’s neck into her mouth for some of blondie’s blood.

In the car, Bill wants to know why Sookie went to Eric. She’s vague and says she needed to ask him a question, saying she doesn’t trust either of them, really. Bill wants to know if she has feelings for Eric. “Not feelings feelings. I drank his blood.” So yeah, she’s got some feelings for him, but it’s not her fault. Sookie says she did see a different side to the lump of muscle, though, when he tried to save Godric from giving himself to the light. Bill tries to entice Sookie with the dreams of beginning again. Can they ever do that?

Sam is drunk as all get out. So drunk he insults everyone in the bar, patrons and workers alike. He is looking for his special whiskey and Terry tries to get him to calm down. Sam says “I’m your boss! Get back in the kitchen you shell-shocked mother f—er!”

Arlene asks how she can be so “hateful and mean.” “You’re polluting our positive energy vibe!” Holly says. Sam calls them bitches and says they can “shut the f–k up.” They grab some salt for the Wiccan anti-pregnancy ritual and take off, as well they should.

Jason thinks his life sucks, so he drives out to the high school football field, where the new star quarterback, Kitch Maynard is playing ball with some friends. His girlfriend is upset because he was supposed to go to her house and watch her try on outfits. Kitch is too hyped on passing balls so hard they hurt his sweat-soaked buds and are thrown outside of the field. Jason knows what’s up – there’s something in that boys’ blood and it’s not adrenaline.

Summer goes to Mrs. Fortenberry in tears. “Hoyt doesn’t want me!” They sit outside as Summer says how she offered up her virginity and Hoyt denied her. She thinks it’s because she’s not tall and not as pretty as Jessica. “I baked for him! I opened up my heart to him. I showed him my best underwear. There’s nothing else I can do!” Hoyt’s mama says they aren’t giving up. Summer is a stalker in the making.

Tara comes into Merlotte’s and seems amused by how messed up the place is. Sam asks for help and she says “Too bad I an’t working tonight.” She’s more interested in making Andy uncomfortable. She sits across from him in his booth where he awkwardly tries to make small talk. Tara eventually puts him out of his misery. “I know about Eggs.”

Andy feels pretty bad about it, that’s for sure. “I don’t feel like a hero.” Tara looks almost as if she cares and understands how Andy wasn’t trying to anything wrong. Still, she’s hurt. No one can change what happened.

Sam tries to put Tommy to work as a waitress, but he refuses. He doesn’t expect Sam to get so upset with him, but when he calls him “Nothing but Joe Lee in a Sam suit,” Sam freaks out. He fires Tommy and kicks him out of the rental. Tommy tries to apologize. “You’re the only one I know around here! Where am I supposed to go?” Sam doesn’t care. He kicks everyone out of the bar, except Tara, who says “No” and pours herself some Patron.

Sookie tells Bill she’s done with all the BS. They start to imagine a normal fantasy life for the two of them. They decide they’d be happily married and live between Bill’s house and Gran’s house. Sookie would be a real estate agent and Bill would teach third grade. They’d have a big garden and bring friends over for dinner. Bill would even go fishing with Jason!

Their dream talk is stopped dead in its tracks when Eric and Russell appear in the middle of the road and halt the car with a single hand movement.

In the woods, Holly begins a ritual to help Arlene rid of Renee’s baby. She gets all “Blessed be” like The Craft and tells Arelene to talk to the spirit of her mother while in their “circle.” Arlene pleads that her mom listen to her and understand why she’s doing what she is. She wants everyone to be safe and live without fear that her baby will be a “crazed killer.”

Holly makes Arlene drink some tea that she’ll have to continue to make for the next five days, four times a day. It tastes gross and has her own blood in it, but she shoots it. “Blessed be!”

Kitch’s friends are giving up. They’re worn out! Jason tells Kitch he knows he’s on V. “What if i was? So what?” Jason’s like, “V’s an illegal substance.” He’s pissed that Kitch is a cheater and threatens to tell the school, his family and his coach. Apparently his coach is the one giving it to him and his family is paying for it. This just makes Jason even more upset, but he maintains that it won’t count when Kitch beats his record.

Lafayette is seeing things. Dolls are singing “La La! We need you!”

Back at Fangtasia, Russell is speaking with Sookie and Eric tells Bill, in secret, “Hit me!” They begin to fight, but it’s just for show. Russell takes Sookie inside, and then the vamps can talk alone. “I have a plan,” Eric says. “Will it save her?” Bill asks.

Tara and Sam are drinking together, and she’s trying to knock some sense into her drunk boss. Sam claims he has nobody and Tara says, “You have me.” They both feel misunderstood. Sam says people think of him like “He’s nice. I’ll go ask him to do some inconvenient s–tty thing because he’ll do it – he’s a good guy!”

Tara says no one would ever think that about her. Instead it’s “Don’t invite Tara to the party! She’ll get pissed off!” This just makes them both hot and they go back to Sam’s trailer where they get it on.

Tommy decides to break into Sam’s safe while he’s distracted. Them’s the consequences of having premarital sex, Sam Merlotte!

Arlene is having a dream in which she hears her mom calling her name. Arlene is fresh-faced without makeup and her hair is free of hairspray. She’s fishing and see sees a light. Suddenly, she hears Terry saying her name and she realizes she’s in bed and there’s blood everywhere. It’s from her, and she isn’t concerned like Terry is. “It looks like you’re dying!” Arlene says she’ll get cleaned up and then they can go to the hospital. Secretly, she’s relieved, and she says she thinks she lost the baby.

At the hospital, Terry is so upset and feels responsible. But then the doctor comes in and delivers some good news. “It’s going to be OK. You haven’t lost anything – the baby’s still on board. You’ve got a strong little critter in there!” Arlene feigns excitement. “Yay.”

Jason comes back home and Crystal is still there. He tells her that he doesn’t want to break up. He loves her and doesn’t mind that she’s a panther. Then she tells him they have to stop the raid because of all the innocent kids. “We can’t go against the DE f—-ng A!” Crystal said she’s going with or without Jason.

Eric, Bill and Pam try to tell Russell that Sookie is a human-fairy hybrid and she’s the only chance he has to walk in the sun. “Nothing in my blood is a supernatural sunscreen for ya’ll!” Sookie said but Bill says it’s true. Sookie is not pleased. Now she really doesn’t trust Bill or Eric. “I hate you! I hate you all!”

Pam pleads with Eric not to go in the sun. “You know I love you more when you’re cold and heartless,” he tells her. Bill reminds Russell and Eric they can’t drain her completely because then there will be no more fairy blood. They take their bites simultaneously.

Eric steps outside first. The birds are tweeting and the sun is shining. Eric walks slowly into the light, putting his hand out in front of him to see what will happen. Inside, everyone else watches on a security camera. Well, everyone but Sookie. She’s passed out and Bill wants to be unchained so he can give her some blood.

Eric motions to Russell to come outside. He’s burning slowly, but no one can tell. Russell begins to cry tears, he’s so excited. “Thousands of years of night!” Pam asks “What are you waiting for?”

Russell joins Eric, blinded by the light at first but then embracing it. He calls it glorious and sublime – and then he sees Eric’s face.

It’s filled with burn marks. He chains Russell to him with a handcuff. “Be brave – we’ll die together!

OK, obviously we don’t want Eric to die, but we want Russell out of our lives. WTF is going to happen on the finale?

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