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11 female TV characters who need their own comic books

When I was writing about our favorite lesbian badasses last week, I started making up stories about them in my head – as you do – and I decided every character on the list should have her own superhero product line. And I also decided that even though they own a large portion of it, queer women don’t have the market cornered on badassery. So while I was researching, I made another list: Straight chicks who need their own comic books. Here are my top eleven.

OK, in the spirit of full disclosure, I only had nine comic book covers, so I Tweeted and asked for suggestions for a tenth. An overwhelming majority of people Tweeted back and suggested Quinn and Rachel from Glee. So I went a-Googling and fell down a friggin rabbit hole. I had no idea, you guys. I had no idea about any of it. The fan art, the fan fic, the Faberry. It’s good to know, though, since I’m going to be recapping Glee this season.

Miranda Bailey may be the fiercest woman on primetime. No, she doesn’t have any weapons – because she doesn’t need any weapons. She will cut you down with her glare.

She’s Katie F–king Fitch. Who the f–k are you?

Can you even imagine the shenanigans Kelly Kapoor gets up to when she’s not “working” at Dunder-Mifflin? I want to see them all. And think about the dialogue bubbles! She doesn’t talk trash; she talks smack. They’re totally different.

She’s going to be on your ass every second of every day – until Monday. Because that’s when she goes home. And you know what else? If there was a Phoebe Buffay comic book, you would totally hear every line in her Phoebe voice.

Vicki Vale, vick va Vicki Vale.

What? How’d that comic book of Heather Hogan and Amy Pond sneak into this post? Oh, right – because it would be the best comic in the entire world!

Drawings by Rin of RophyDoes.com.

At least it’d be something to look at when I’m in the corner, sobbing and rocking back and forth about how there’s never going to be a Veronica Mars movie. (Sometimes I also cry about Piz. What was that? What kind of name is “Piz”?)

They changed Darrens in the middle of the show and no one even noticed/cared! Samantha is like Hermione 1.0 – Granger-lite, if you will.

But Heather Hogan, I thought you said the characters had to be straight?! That is what I said, but I make the rules! (Rules help control the fun!) And I’ve lost all sense of objectivity where Naomi and Emily are concerned! I wear this “F” on my chest for “Fangirl” the way Hester Prynne wore her “A” for adultery! (We’re both whores, is what I am saying. Hester for a preacher, Heather for a TV show.)

Naomily art by the super talented elaineK. Check out more of her stuff on DeviantArt.

Now, gently, gently, gently tell me who I missed. Also, you’d read every one of these comics, wouldn’t you? You know you would.

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