“Las Aparicio” recap: Episodes 46-48

Rafaela and Mercedes
Team up with Hernan, Claudio and Leonardo to help catch a pedophile. Meanwhile, the entire Aparicio household welcomes a kidnapped girl who suffered many years of sexual and emotional abuse. They provide her with shelter, love and friendship, while doing their best to bring her captor to justice.

Alma
Gives being with Alejandro a shot. But you know she’s going to go back to Leonardo eventually. Leonardo is still seeing Maximo’s ghost everywhere who keeps nudging him to investigate Rafaela and Alma.

Julia/Mariana (and Armando)
In a time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings, a bitter goddess cursed all the lesbians in Mexican soap operas:

Thou shalt not enjoy a moment of happiness, for if you should ever enjoy a moment of happiness, a curly-haired soccer player will return from Spain to confuse your lesbisexual girlfriend and other bad stuff will happen, too.

Well, it went something like that, anyway. It is rumored that this goddess failed out of the Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good (And Want To Learn How To Do Other Things Good Too). But no one likes to talk about that.

What I’m trying to say is that Armando is back.

You know on Friends when Rachel finds Joey’s copy of The Shining in the freezer and Joey tells her that it got too scary so he had to put it in the freezer? Well, I am writing this recap from the freezer. And brr, it’s cold in here (there must be some toros in the atmosphere).

So where were we?

Okay, so Julia and Mariana have sex, which means that somewhere in Spain lightning lit up the sky and Armando’s lesbian virgin-alarm (designed to go off before Julia does) beeped violently, forcing him to jump into the nearest teleportation device and return to Mexico.

When episode 46 kicks off, we’re in the middle of an earthquake, which none of the Aparicio sisters notice because they’re busy creating earthquakes of their own. And by creating earthquakes I mean having sex.

The next morning at breakfast, Ileana greets them with, “Did you feel that earthquake?!” And Alma and Mercedes are like, “And by ‘earthquake’ you mean…?”

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