“The Real L Word” mini-cap 109: “Dinah or Bust”

Here at AfterEllen, we’ve written about the annual booze and babes palooza called the Dinah Shore Weekend a few times. We’ve told you about the non-stop parties and headliner entertainment, and shown you happy lesbians cutting loose and/or getting naked, as far as the blood-shot eye can see. Commonly called, "lesbian spring break," or "Lesbians Gone Wild," it isn’t everyone’s shot of tequila, but it is ours.

Knowing the girls the way we do now, you can guess what each has to say about the subject: Jill’s never heard of it, and Nikki wouldn’t be caught dead there, probably because she might get Jell-O shot stains on her Dolce & Gabbana sandals. Tracy, Whitney and Mikey are all Dinah veterans, and describe it as a "hot mess" and "a free-for-all." Given the drinking, the girls and the balls-out partying, guess who loves Dinah more than life itself? Rose brags, "They probably have a bronze statue of me somewhere." Yes, they do.

Not everyone is going to Dinah this year. In addition to Nikki and Jill, who would rather set themselves on fire than risk brushing up against a sweaty girl in a tankini, Tracy and Stamie are skipping the debauchery, too. Tracy’s mom, Zory, is still in town for her birthday celebrations. Tracy’s roommate, Michele, is back from a business trip and ready to impart more levelheaded advice to Tracy about how to be on a reality show without losing your dignity.

Stamie jokes she’s going to make out with Tracy in front of her mom. She says: "’Bitch, you’re almost 60. How many baby steps you got in you?’ You know what I mean?" Well said. Hard to believe Stamie’s not in the "bitch’s" will already.

Being the captain of Team Tracy requires a little smack talk, I guess. Michele tells Stamie things could be worse – at least Zory is there, meeting her. That’s a first. And living a very out life makes it hard to go back in, even for a while. Stamie realizes that’s been part of the problem, all along.

"Gay people are so used to sort of, aborting their everything, and putting it to the side, just to make other people comfortable," Michele says, "That’s the irony of gay people being accused of being in your face." Or, in Stamie’s case, in your "c— face."

Here, Stamie supervises Michele as she waxes her surfboard and Tracy brushes her teeth in the backyard.

Just another day in Los Feliz.

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