“Rizzoli & Isles” Very Special Lesbian Episode Recap (1.06): “I Kissed a Girl”


OK, I could tell you about the storyline of last night’s Rizzoli & Isles. But, let’s be honest, we’re not really here for the plot — we’re here for the subtext. So while I will do my due diligence and give cursory attention to tonight’s central murder, I really want to talk about the flirting.

The very special Rizzoli & the Isles of Lesbos episode starts in the most poorly lit lesbian bar in the history of gay bars. Why are the lights so bright? No one is going to make out with you with lights this bright. Also, a woman is stumbling out of the club in clear distress. So let that be a lesson to you kids: the magic ratio is one glass of water for every one cocktail.

Now Angie Harmon is in a sports bra, so I have no idea what else is happening. I think she and Sasha Alexander are in a yoga class. Then a smarmy looking yoga instructor says something about mind and body and breaks the mood. Also Antonio Sabato Jr. (Jorge) is grinning like an idiot for some reason. Maybe because he is an idiot — his character, I mean.

Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles arrive at the scene. Poor stumbly bar lady is now poor-bludgeoned-in-the-head lady. Things look bad — she was sexually assaulted. They notice her wedding ring. Rizzoli says the husband is automatically a suspect, to which her partner Detective Frost (different, clearly, from her life partner Isles) says, “Are you getting ready for an I hate men speech?” Lesbians! They don’t like men — get it? That never gets old.

Isles breaks up the man-hate by saying they aren’t looking for a husband. She shows them what appears to be a wedding photo of the victim and her wife on her iPad. Sheesh, did she have time to cruise the dead woman’s Facebook page?

Said wife is now in the precinct being comforted by Rizzoli. It’s Brenda Strong, from Desperate Housewives and Seinfeld, who happens to be the captain of her LGBT Bowling League. I can only assume the softball team captain position was already taken. She tells Rizzoli she has a right to know who murdered her wife, because the commonwealth of Massachusetts recognizes their marriage.

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