TV

“Las Aparicio” recap: Episodes 43-45

Rafaela

Rafaela continues her on-going chess game with Leonardo in an effort to figure out what he’s up to and what he wants.

Alma

Alma just can’t quit Leonardo. No matter how little she trusts him. Poor Alejandro. He still hopes to get her in the end.

Mercedes

Mercedes finally gives in to Claudio’s advances and they sleep together in his office. But that doesn’t mean she trusts him with her heart.

Julia/Mariana

Well, Mariana got the girl, sort of, but is it happily ever after? Of course not. Everyone knows that the moment a lesbian is happy on television the Earth will cave into itself and unleash unimaginable horrors upon the land (some who watch The Real L Word will claim that this has already happened).

And so, while these two should, by all accounts, be rolling around naked in bed, they are, instead, processing the return of Hernan (Mariana’s long lost father). Mariana feels scared because even though she doesn’t know Hernan, it’s like he knows a part of her that she herself doesn’t know. Julia tells her that there’s no part of her that should ever scare her.

Mariana then says maybe she should get some sleep and Julia says she’s going to sleep on the futon because things between them are still complicated and sleeping beside each other might lead to X-rated things like snuggling and hair-braiding.

But kissing is okay.

The next day, Julia shows up at Mariana’s bearing groceries and good news. The good news is that Isadora (Mercedes’ daughter) is out of the hospital.

Julia: She came out without an appendix but happy.

Mariana: Take me to the hospital.

Julia: What? You too? Do you feel sick or what?

Mariana: I want to see if I come out without Hernan but happy.

The topic shifts to Mariana’s mother, whom Mariana was supposed to talk to about Hernan’s return. But Mariana says that once she heard her mother’s voice she couldn’t bring herself to raise the topic.

Mariana says Hernan checked into a motel, and Julia thinks that might be a good thing, to have him around but sort of far away at the same time, but Mariana looks undecided. But before the conversation can continue, the phone rings.

Every time Julia’s phone rings, a piece of Mariana’s soul shrivels up and dies. Or maybe it’s just my soul.

Anyway, we already know who it is because Mariana and Julia aren’t allowed to exchange more than three lines of dialogue without what’s his face interrupting. So we’re not at all surprised when Julia moves away into the terrace to answer the phone.

Armando has fallen butt-first into the Pit of Despair because he’s been kicked off the soccer team and Bad Stuff Is Happening To Him. And Julia’s like, “What happened?” But Armando doesn’t go into details, just says, “DON’T BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY! IT IS ALL LIES! LIES!”

But really what this scene is about is to warn us that ARMANDO IS COMING BACK TO RUIN MARIANA’S ONE AND A HALF SECONDS OF HAPPINESS. My theory is that Mariana is secretly be the female version of Angel and we’re not supposed to know this yet.

But there’s no chance of Mariana losing her soul quite yet because she’s not happy at all about Julia answering Armando’s call. Julia apologizes but the bigger issue — for Mariana — is that Julia didn’t tell him about their relationship. Julia says it’s because whatever’s between them isn’t very clear yet and he’s in a crisis.

Mariana: You didn’t tell him in order to protect him. To take care of him. Whatever it is that’s happening between us you didn’t want to tell him about in order to protect your boy. So instead, why don’t you just take care of me?

Julia: Okay, I’m just going to shut up. I’m sorry.

Mariana: You know it’s like that guy never left. He’s still standing right here between us. Just like Hernan.

Later on, at Casa Aparicio, the family — and Hernan — are having a meal together and Hernan is talking about why he left. Essentially it was because he wanted to fight for a better world and it’s hard to be a revolutionary while being a part of the system. Ileana says that he left to do all those things he claimed to want to do and because those things didn’t work out now he was back. She tells him he should take responsibility for his actions and for Mariana’s feelings.

Hernan is totally in agreement and says that kids should not be responsible for their parents’ mistakes. And starts to say that when he was younger they believed in utopias like equality and liberty.

And then Mariana shows up to call b.s. on his whole Utopian fantasy excuse.

After what I’m sure was a very pleasant meal, Mariana and Hernan retire to the living room, where Mariana tells him that when she was little her mother’s friends had a nickname for him: Utopio. She hadn’t understood the nickname until now.

Hernan asks Mariana about the letters he’d write to her but Mariana says she never saw them. He says in the letters he tried to explain himself but that it doesn’t matter now. And that it’s even more of a reason for her to listen to him.

Mariana: I have to listen to you. For what? So you feel better? To relieve your guilt? I don’t have to do anything for you, Hernan.

Hernan: Don’t do it for me. Do it so you understand what happened in your own story.

Score 1 for Hernan.

Later on, Hernan shows up at Mariana’s because Mariana called him. She’s still not happy about any of it and says her life is really complicated and he’s shown up and ruined everything. But she still wants to know his story, so that she’s not left with the uncertainty of it.

Over at the Aparicio household, Ileana and Julia are watching sports news to find out what’s going on with Armando. Because sports people speak an entirely different language, neither Ileana nor Julia know what’s going on with Armando’s situation. Alma suggests maybe Julia talk to Armando, but Julia starts to hyperventilate because talking to Armando will lead him to ask about her life and she can’t possibly tell him she’s with Mariana now. That would be like … having to be honest about her feelings and making her decision official and coming out to her ex-boyfriend. It’s TOO HARD.

At which point Sue Sylvester pops in to yell, “You think this is hard? I’m passing a gallstone as we speak! That’s hard!”

But back at Mariana’s, Hernan is narrating his life story and Mariana’s eyes are all teary as she listens to him talk about how he wanted to make the world a better place for her. He left at first as a volunteer doctor and all the misery that he saw convinced him to make a bigger sacrifice and take on those responsibilities with everything he had.

Mariana: And one of those responsibilities you had was falling in love with that woman…

Hernan doesn’t have a ready-made answer for that one, so we let Aurelia start up her closing narration, as we move on to episode 44.

It turns out that Alma, on top of being a doctor, mathematician, astronaut, marine biologist, neurologist, gallery owner, and escort service leader, is also a witch. Or so claims Ileana when Mercedes pops in to see what her sisters are up to. Alma explains that they’re playing Tell Me, Wax, Tell Me; a game of mystery, magick and candle wax.

Mercedes is familiar with the game and sits down to play.

Essentially, you ask the candle wax a question, pour some into a bowl of water, and then whatever it does in the water is your answer.

The conversation between Mariana and Hernan is still going on. Hernan confesses that while he didn’t leave because of that woman, he did stay because of her. He explains that what she gave him was something beyond the physical. They both shared a passion for the work they were doing.

Hernan: Mariana, when you’re there, in the jungle, in the fight, you’re very lonely. You have a lot of people around you that would give their life for you, but you’re alone. And she was there. Of course I fell in love. But I also fell in love with her clarity and her intelligence, for her passion for the fight. There was no way to separate one thing from the other. She revealed to me the reasons for why I was there…

Mariana asks what happened to her and Hernan says it ended, like everything does.

Las Aparicio are still playing the candle wax game and I’m not sure that anyone has gotten a particularly mind-blowing answer to anything. Though that doesn’t stop them from using the game to tease Mercedes about when she’ll stop being stupid and sleep with Claudio.

Back at Mariana’s, the conversation continues and they discuss why Hernan came back. Mariana asks if he came back because he’d finished things off with the woman and he says he came back because he’d realized that he’d given his life for everyone but for his own family. Mariana tells him that he doesn’t even know her and he agrees but that given the chance, he’d love to know more about her.

Mariana’s not up for talking about herself (a.k.a. coming out), but she tells Hernan that he can crash on her couch.

The next day, Hernan is looking through Mariana’s bookshelves and opens a book to find a picture of Mariana and Dany stuck between the pages. Wasn’t that picture framed a few episodes back when he broke into her apartment?

He says her friend looks like Julia, which I think just means Hernan has a functioning gaydar because other than their both loving Mariana, I don’t think they have much in common. Hernan then apologizes for looking through her stuff and says he just wants to know more about her.

But Mariana’s still not up for the big revelation about her sexuality, which is really what talking about herself would entail, so she shoots off some quick answers to his questions about what she loves and what moves her and sends him on his merry way.

Later on, Julia’s over and they’re doing what two girls who are in a Complicated Relationship do best together: cook.

Julia: Did you fix everything with your dad? Did you come out of the closet and everything?

I think Julia should write a book called How To Solve All Your Problems The Julia Aparicio Way. Got an issue? Julia Aparicio can help! Did your father abandon you when you were four? Is he suddenly back? Are you having trouble restoring that relationship? Well, come out of the closet! Problem solved!

Are you in love with more than one person at once and can’t decide between them? Are they both in love with you? Well, date them both at the same time and convince them that this is a good idea!

Oops, getting way ahead of myself.

Back to this.

Mariana: It’s not that simple. I don’t want to talk about my sexuality to a perfect stranger like Hernan.

Julia: What do you mean a stranger? He’s your father! What if instead of a picture of Dany he’d found the picture of some guy. Wouldn’t you have told him, “Yeah, it’s my boyfriend,” or something like that?

Mariana: Well, yeah.

But Mariana is scared about being rejected by her father once he knows the truth, which is understandable given her stepfather’s reaction.

A little later, Armando shows up.

No, not that Armando. Armando from the Atelier! Who? Yeah, I didn’t know him either. He’s just there to pick up the food for the cafe.

Julia also thought it was the other Armando and freaked out.

Mariana: It wasn’t the other Armando. Why, have you talked to him?

Julia: No, of course not. That’s why I almost had a heart attack. I can’t talk to him. What am I going to say? “Oh yeah, I’m totally in love… I have a girlfriend.” I can’t tell him about us Mariana. Not now. He’s got a lot of problems —

Mariana: Could it be that you don’t want to talk to him because you miss him too much and it hurts?

Julia: No. That’s not why. It’s honestly because I don’t want to hurt him. The guy is in a bad place. I can’t hurt him like that right now.

Mariana: Yeah, poor him.

But Mariana gets over it and later on the two of them are in Mariana’s bedroom doing what any two girls in love with each other do when they’re alone in a bedroom together: rehearse for an audition.

There’s also some tickling.

And some kissing.

And some peeping Hernans.

Don’t worry, Hernan, they’re just practicing for boys.

Like any responsible father who’s just spotted his daughter making out with her best friend, Hernan dives for cover when Julia finally passes by on her way out of the apartment.

Later on, he’s in Mariana’s apartment, trying to figure out how to broach the subject.

Hernan: Mariana, you and Julia are really good friends? I mean, you love each other? You have a lot of affection for one another?

Why yes, Hernan, they like to wrap their legs around each other in friendship.

Mariana: Yes … why?

Hernan: Nothing … I’m just glad that you have friends like that. And male friends? Do you have many?

Mariana: No. Not many.

Hernan: You get along better with women …

Mariana: Yes … Why are you asking me so many questions?

Hernan: They’re just stupid questions in the process of getting to know you.

Mariana: We both know what you want to ask me. Say it.

Hernan: No but … what do you think I want to ask you?

Mariana: Seriously. Talk.

Hernan: No … no … I don’t think I want to ask anything else.

Mariana: You know what? If you want to know me, then I think you need to hear it, even though I suspect you already know. I’m gay, Hernan.

Hernan: That’s fine …

Mariana: It’s fine? Just like that?

Hernan then starts babbling about tolerance and diversity which makes Mariana point out that he sounds like a human rights PSA.

From then on it all goes down hill because Hernan successfully hits all of Mariana’s sore points by using terms like “lifestyle” and telling her that people’s close-mindedness will force her to live in secrecy. Mariana argues that she lives more openly than a lot of straight people.

And then Hernan pisses her off some more.

Hernan: I just hope this preference of yours isn’t caused by my abandoning you. That it’s not my fault.

Mariana: Your fault? As if what I am were a bad thing? Don’t worry, Hernan. What I am is nothing bad. It’s a privilege, okay? And you have nothing to do with me.

Hernan goes on to say that there’s a lot of variables and that him abandoning her might’ve led her to see men in a certain way and that sometimes children see their life experiences as a form of punishment. And so on and so forth.

Mariana: You’re just the same as that ass—e American. You know what, Hernan? I already had my process. You weren’t there. I don’t have to be there for yours.

Over at Casa Aparicio, Alma runs into Julia who tells her that she’s now 100% CERTAIN that she’s gay. Mariana’s toaster oven is now in the mail. High five! In fact, Julia’s so sure that she’s gay that she’s signing up for the whole gay package.

Julia: That includes gay wedding, gay adoption, gay pride flag …

Is there a discount if you sign up for the whole gay package at once? I’d like to see the brochure.

Julia is worried about Mariana’s reaction to her Official Coming Out. I’m not sure, but I think all the making out, and the being in a relationship, complicated or otherwise, probably gave Mariana a hint that Julia isn’t straight. But what do I know?

Alma brings up He Who Should Not Be Named and Julia says that he’s in Spain, he left for Spain. And because Spain is in a galaxy far, far away, it means Julia is free to be gay.

My scientific research concludes that Julia’s sexuality is determined by her distance from points A and M. The further away J is from A, the gayer she is. The closer she is to both A and M, the more confused she is. Note that she only lasted about three seconds away from M. My solution is for Girly to show up and shoot Armando into space. All our problems would be solved.

Alma: Are you totally sure you don’t want anything with him?

Oh, but that she would say yes.

Alas …

Later on, Julia eats her breakfast standing up in the kitchen because she has a casting call with Mariana and she’s late. Rafaela takes the opportunity to ask Julia whether Mariana told her father that she’s gay.

Julia tells Rafaela that it’s none of her business, which is a concept that Rafaela Aparicio will never understand. Everything is Rafaela’s business. She collect’s people’s affairs like baseball cards. So of course Mariana coming out is her business.

Julia then starts rambling about how coming out is difficult for all parties involved. Julia asks Rafaela to put herself in Hernan’s shoes.

Julia: How would you feel if I told you I was gay, for example?

Rafaela: I’d be happy. I’d love you the same.

But Julia says that Rafaela is a special and unique snowflake of a mother and more traditional parents would have a problem with their daughter coming up to them and saying, “I’m gay and I have sex with my girlfriend.” Is that how we’re doing it now?

She then excuses herself to go to the audition.

After the audition, Mariana and Julia joke about how they landed the infomercial and how embarrassing it will be when it actually airs. They run into Hernan who is waiting for Mariana in front of her apartment.

Hernan asks if he can borrow Mariana’s computer. Hernan goes to use Mariana’s computer and Julia and Mariana go to the kitchen, where Mariana tells Julia that Hernan saw them kissing and now knows she’s gay.

Julia is kind of freaking out about it and then Mariana tells her to imagine what’ll happen if Hernan decides to call Rafaela his in-law to her face.

Julia: Why would he call her his in-law? We’d have to be together for that to happen.

Mariana: Well, that’s what he thinks because he saw us kissing.

Julia: I have to talk to you about something, but I know it’s not the best time …

Hernan and his impecable timing interrupt this conversation. He’s having trouble with the computer and Mariana goes to help him.

Later on, Hernan is gone and Mariana and Julia are still in the kitchen. Mariana asks Julia to tell her what she wanted to tell her.

Julia: I wanted to tell you … well, that I already expressed to you that I’m sure … and that I’m happy … and that I want to be with you. True?

Mariana: True.

Julia: Well, now … I need for you to tell it to me.

Mariana: Calm down, Aparicio! Julia, come here.

Mariana: Julia Aparicio, I love you. And I want to be with you.

Julia: Finally, you tell me! Now show me.

And then, in the middle of all that awesomeness we learn that…

HEEEEEE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!

Sigh.

Let’s just enjoy this while we can…

Ingrid Díaz is the author of Alix & Valerie, a professional blogger and non-recovering coffee addict. In her college days, she was a purple-haired LGBT rights activist. These days, she aims to change the world one lesbian love story at a time. You can read some of her work at www.midnightisland.com.

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