Apparently, CNN thinks that only male spies are sexy. They must be high off oil spill fumes because female spies are obvi the sexiest. Female spies employ a unique and especially lethal blend of Jedi mind trick wit, brute strength, and deathly good sex appeal to dupe the bad guys or attack the good ones. Some may argue that this whole women-as-temptress thing is anti-feminist — and understandably so — but if dudes (or ladies) in film and TV quickly fall prey to such “seductive powers,” it’s their own damn fault.
Regardless of our differing views, we think it’s safe to say that women spies are a secret (or not-so-secret) fantasy of everyone’s, so why not catalog 10 of the sexiest lady spies ever? (Disclaimer: these are only 10 out of many amazing women, so if you have objections, please feel free to add your own! Second disclaimer: if you’re one of the ladies who falls prey to the seductive powers of spies, AfterEllen.com claims no responsibility if you are misled, mugged, or tied up by any of the following women. Scratch that — we claim total responsibility and deserve full credit if you’re tied up.)
1. Agent Salt (Salt)
Next month, our girl Angelina Jolie will be blowing up the box office and blowing stuff up in the espionage thriller, Salt. How could we get tired of Angie’s frequent action-hero movies when she makes it look so good?
2. Sarah Walker (Chuck)
Agent Sarah Walker, the leading lady played by Yvonne Strahovski in the series Chuck, is the agent assigned by the NSA and CIA to protect the main character, Chuck. She’s sexy because of her ruthlessness, mad skillz in hand-to-hand combat, susceptibility to girl/girl fights, and that we know so little about her past is mysterious, and mysterious = sexy.
3. Æon Flux (Æon Flux)
Roughly 2.5% of you saw the sci-fi film in which Charlize Theron, clad in black spandex, plays a rebel among the dictator government-controlled last city on Earth. She’s a perfect assassin, fights on behalf of the “disappeared” to overthrow the government, and even enlists hottie Sithandra (Sophie Okonedo) for a tag-team effort.
4. Foxxy Cleopatra (The Spy Who Shagged Me)
While Beyoncé‘s acting may have been less than stellar and her character’s blaxploitation parody made us cringe every time she said “sha-zam,” Foxxy Cleopatra was a whole lotta woman.
5. Nikita (Nikita)
This fall, the so-hot-she-melts-your-popsicle Maggie Q stars in CW’s remake of La Femme Nikita as a trained spy and assassin. She’s got the experience from Mission Impossible: 3, but now that she’s ditched that dweeb Cruise, we’re interested.
6. Agent 99 (Get Smart)
In the late ’60s, model and actress Barbara Feldon played Agent 99 on Get Smart, a spy sitcom that satirized the James Bond craze and won several Emmys. Though Anne Hathaway starred as the updated version of Agent 99, Feldon will always be the original spy comedy hottie.
7. Pussy Galore (Goldfinger)
I, personally, find the Bond movies to be incredibly sexist, but just can’t help that I’m obsessed with Pussy Galore. (Cue sniggers.) Pussy, played by Honor Blackman, is more awesome in the novel, in which she’s a lesbian who leads a gang of other lesbian hooligans, but still, the film version allows us to see Pussy Galore up close and personal on the big screen.
8. Sydney Bristow (Alias)
One of the most recognizable TV series spies, Sydney Bristow, played by Jennifer Garner on Alias, brings an element of intellect to the usual femme-fatale stereotype of a woman spy, as she dons various disguises, speaks a bunch of different languages, and helps the CIA dismantle a terrorist organization while acting as a double-agent.
9. The D.E.B.S. ladies (D.E.B.S.)
Max (Meagan Good), Amy (Sara Foster), Dominique (Devon Aoki), and Janet (Jill Ritchie) make the schoolgirl outfits hotter than Britney Spears did. Bonus points to Amy for being a lezzy. Double bonus points to Meagan Good’s arms. And the rest of her body.
10. Emma Peel (The Avengers)
Diana Rigg was introduced as the permanent lead, Emma Peel, in the 1960s British TV series after Honor Blackman left to get involved with Pussy Galore (my last pun, I swear). Rigg plays the feminist heroine, who performs martial arts, fences, rescues her hubby countless times, and is a certified genius. Her leather catsuit doesn’t hurt, either.
Who are some of your favorite female spies?