Last night, Showtime aired their sneak peek of The Real L Word, and introduced the six Los Angeles lesbians who will bare their lives, their souls and their breasts over nine episodes this summer, all for our judgey amusement. But why wait? Let’s meet the girls and let the snarkfest begin.
This is Mikey. When she’s not working as the producer of LA Fashion Week, Mikey is busy searching for the next Gia, and color coordinating her standard-issue Weho accessories.
Shane called. She wants her hair back.
And here’s Whitney, who’s on a "constant journey for love" but tends to get "caught up and distracted by lust."
Whitney claims it was mere coincidence that while shooting the show, she was having lesbian drama through no fault of her own. Uh huh.
The only woman of color on the show, Rose, claims to be the inspiration for the Papi character.
Now that she’s older, wiser, and finally on board with the notion that "kissing is cheating," Rose isn’t so much into wearing funny hats, as she is into her girlfriend and doing shots.
Meanwhile, if there’s one thing LA lesbians have, it’s beautiful teeth and perfect eyebrows. Meet Tracy.
Tracy’s one of those girls who can probably get anyone she wants, and has chosen a woman who has three rambunctious children.
Apparently, Tracy didn’t get the memo that when someone pulls your hair, it’s supposed to be hawt.
The show would be remiss if it didn’t find a lesbian power couple to be the reality versions of Bette and Tina.
Nikki and Jill are just your ordinary, average lesbian couple who enjoy being upscale, reading the paper and not eating. Having never seen an episode of Work Out, Jill innocently reports she has faith that the show will accurately portray who they are. Oh, honey. That’s so cute. Well, miracles can happen, I suppose, if you pray hard enough. Good thing she has this top, (on the right) which she stole from a gay alter boy.
Showtime says the series will shatter stereotypes and "prove, unequivocally, that lesbians can be every bit as glamorous, fashionable, fabulous and even as cutthroat as those hetero housewives." Aspiring to be a fabulous housewife is not any lesbian’s dream, I don’t think. Not when we can be naked on a fake beach with strategically placed palm trees shading our lady parts.
Some thoughts about this poster: Even with no pants on, Mikey has managed to hook her thumbs in her belt loops. Now that’s butch. Also, it’s good to see that America Ferrera found work after Ugly Betty. And lastly, even though Tracy is from New Jersey, seems it’s always sunny in Philadelphia.
No matter. Living here and knowing one of the cast members, I can tell you unequivocally, these successful, sexy women are, in fact, stereotypical LA lesbians – it’s the rest of the country that’s not going to see themselves in the show. That said, I can’t wait to watch the mating rituals of lesbianus Los Angelinos fabulous in their natural habitat.
And when The Real L Word premieres on Sunday, June 20 at 10pm PT/ET, I’ll be recapping the entire hot mess, so stayed tuned!
Watch a clip of the sneak peek here: