“The Real World: Washington D.C.” mini-cap: And there were seven

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This week fortune smiles upon the undeserving Andrew yet again, and Erika starts crying at the discotheque and doesn’t stop crying until she reaches Cleveland.

Proving once again that internship opportunities on The Real World are about as rigged as the game shows portrayed in the film Quiz Show, Andrew picks up the phone, calls the Washington Post and gets an informational interview with Pulitzer Prize winning cartoonist Tom Toles. Andrew shows up to the interview in a cheesy T-shirt and jeans and shows Toles samples of his work, with the following caveat: “It’s college humor,” he says. Well, I suppose if “college humor” were a code word for seventh grade level rape-y humor.

“Visually, it’s nice,” responds Toles, saying nothing of the content.

Andrew asks him for an opportunity to work at the Post, and Toles responds, “It would be a long shot to start here.”

But then (with MTV’s considerable help) Andrew scores an interview with Joe Scopin, a managing editor for The Washington Times, who offers him the opportunity to shadow White House reporter Joe Curl for a day and to draw a political cartoon for the paper.

At the introductory meeting with Andrew, Curl (who is most likely wondering who he harmed in a previous life to deserve the punishment of being chained to a burbling man-child for the next 24 hours) blurts out “So, what are you doing here?” Andrew stammers something about following him around and, like, drawing cartoons and stuff or, uh, something like that. Then, clearly paying back a personal debt to a Viacom executive that he knew back in journalism school, Curl offers Andrew an opportunity to cover a press conference at the White House.

Back home, Mike articulates what all of us are thinking: “I can’t fathom why Andrew, out of all the roommates, is the first one to go into the White House.”

The next day on the White House lawn, something unusual happens. Andrew becomes excited over something other than boobies, namely, Obama’s helicopter landing and grand entrance. Says Andrew, “It was the coolest entrance ever! How to you compete with that? It was almost on the level of My Super Sweet Sixteen!”

At the press conference, Andrew admits that “he really doesn’t know what is going on” and that he is one of the least politically savvy residents of the house, yet he intends to “take this really seriously.”

He then proceeds to miss his deadline, because he doesn’t understand what drawing from an “outside-the-Beltway perspective” actually means. Instead of consulting Google or a more intellectually curious and politically active roommate like Mike, he decides to fall asleep face down in his bed.

The next day he fabricates a story about why he missed the deadline. Eventually, he panics and scribbles something on a pad of paper and sends it in late. The Times runs the cartoon anyway, which proves that the pure dumb luck of being at the right place at the right time even if you are the wrong person will trump intelligence and hard work. Sorry Mike, life isn’t fair.

The other story arc of this episode can be summed up as follows:

Erika is sad. She makes sad faces. She calls her boyfriend tells him that she is horny. He arrives the next day. They go to a club, but Erika is still sad. They get a cab and go home. She tells her boyfriend that she is sad and wants to leave the house. She tells her roommates for the umpteenth time that she is totally leaving for real this time. The roommates are done convincing her to stay. She cries. Her boyfriend tells her she should give it one last shot.

As Callie, Ashley and Emily lounge in the hot tub, Erika approaches and announces she is staying. They do not cheer. They do not offer her flowers and congratulations. This is an unacceptable response, so Erika cries again and decides to leave for real. She plays one last sad song on the piano and runs off the Cleveland with her boyfriend.

And then there were seven.

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