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Review of “A Family is a Family is a Family: A Rosie O’Donnell Celebration”

In her A Family is a Family is a Family documentary, which premiered on HBO Sunday night, co-executive producer Rosie O’ Donnell harnesses the potent power of catchy songs and adorable kids as she seeks to answer the question “What is a family?”

A Family is a Family is a Family features interviews with two sisters who explain international adoption; three brothers who live with a single mom and their grandmother; an only child who prays over dinner with her two dads; an older sister who explains how her baby sister was conceived by in vitro fertilization; two brothers who are preparing for their moms’ wedding; a brother and sister whose mom and dad fell in love at first sight; and the cutest, most diverse batch of children ever assembled on primetime.

So, what is a family?

Brother #1: You need a mom and a dad. Or you can have two moms and two dads. Or one mom and no dads.

Brother #2: Or two moms!

Brother #1: Or just one dad.

Brother #2: Or two dads!

Only child: It doesn’t matter if you have one parent; it doesn’t matter if you have two moms; it doesn’t matter if you have two dads. Just stick with it. A family is a family.

Meet Becky’s family.

Becky: I live with two dads. The reason we have parents is because they can protect you! They read you books at night, and when you want to play something, they can play with you.

Meet Maya and her sister.

Maya: I’m adopted and she’s not.

Sister: I might have been adopted, but I don’t think I was.

Maya: She has a brother. I don’t.

Sister: True.

Maya: But we’re still both girls. And best — well, almost best friends, right?

Sister: We are best friends.

Maya: Best friends.

Meet Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Can I tell you something? Instead of having [my sister] out of my mommy’s belly, another mom had her and couldn’t take care of her, so we said, “Hey, we can take care of her!” This is my sister, Megan. I’ve never had a sister before, you know, and it just changed my life.

Meet Neil and Cole.

Neil: We’re having a wedding today: Mama and Mommy!

Cole: A wedding is when you get to stay with your family forever, that’s what it means.

Neil: Hey, aren’t those clam things?

Neil’s mom: Clam things? Yes, these are pearls. Your mommy gave them to me on our first Valentine’s Day together. They’re very special, so I always wear them on special occasions.

Meet Katie and Jake.

Kate: Daddy and Poppy, I think they met at like a coffee place or something. Then they got married. Then they got me. Then they got Jake. Then we got chickens. We’ve got Quincy and Maude. We’ve got Snowball, she’s white. And Hattie, she’s black. I love my dads and my chickens and my dog — oh, and my brother.

What do you reckon? Too syrupy? Well, not to worry. A Family Is a Family Is a Family breaks up the adorableness with musical numbers from Ziggy Marley, Bonnie Raitt, Doris Day, Sweet Honey In The Rock, and Rosie herself. There’s even a cartoon rendition of a zillion sperm trying to fertilize an ovarian egg, set to the tune of Frank Sinatra‘s “Too Marvelous For Words.”

It’s actually kind of creepy, especially the part where the egg spritzes on perfume and the winning sperm disrobes and, um, dives right in.

The kids give the best explanation: “The sperm races to the egg and the first one there gets to make the baby. I think it’s a science thing, basically.”

There’s a reality check planted firmly in the middle of the show, when Rosie and her youngest daughter talk about how her other mom, Kelli Carpenter, doesn’t live with them anymore. Rosie reminds her that, no matter what, they will always be a family, because a family is love.

The 45-minute narrative plays a little like an after school special — but in America’s current political and social climate, I have to wonder who needs the message more: children or their parents.

Presumably, adults wrote the following comments on New York Daily News‘ review of A Family.

Commenter Scotchman says:

The issue is Rosie is trying to make Gay Marriage Mainstream. It wont ever be acceptable in my eyes. Familys are ment to have a Mother and Father. We need to stop trying to make everything in this country Politcally correct. If it is wrong its wrong. And GAY marrige is wrong. Enough with the attacks on the Family. QUIT TRYING TO MAKE OK.

Commenter Blurose agrees:

She (Rosie) is not showing “the love” she is openly showing the perversion andtrying to force acceptance of that. Anyone who supports ANY morals at all knows that this is WRONG, wrong, wrong, and has been wrong, wrong, wrong, since the beginning of time. It is horrifying to watch our country going down the toilet with the acceptance of these immoralities.

Critics, including The New York Times, suggest that Rosie’s special is too shallow, that it lacks substance. But the fact is, in 2010, marriage equality is still not a reality in 43 states; more than a dozen states are actively considering legislation to ban same-sex couples from adoption; California, one of the most progressive states in the country, is holding a hearing to decide the legality of Proposition 8; and vocal groups of Americans think same-sex families are a perversion.

If some adults refuse to listen to reason, perhaps they will listen to their kids.

A Family Is a Family Is a Family is certainly a deliberate play on Gertrude Stein‘s “Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose” from Sacred Emily — but if you’re looking for poets, you don’t have to look much farther than this gaggle of ragamuffins.

“Love is hugs,” says one.

“Love is when you try to kiss someone on the lips,” says another. “BORING!

But it is a seven-year-old girl that has the most astute observation in the documentary: “Love is a feeling you get from the heart. It can never be removed. It’s like a virus. A virus that doesn’t have a cure.”

As I was watching, I was reminded not of Stein, but of the Greek playwright Aeschylus. “Bless the children,” he wrote in The Libation Bearers, “give them triumph now.”

With the help of children like these, may we all triumph over homophobia.

But long live the love virus. “It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”

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