RachelWatch: Playing the Other Side’s Game

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Today: Rachel gives an update on Uganda, scares the hell out of everyone about Blackwater, and demos the latest in 3D technology.

“It Is My Responsibility”

Rachel started off with President Obama’s speech on the underpants bomber, then segued to the freaky revelation that a data-entry mistake of a single letter kept some key safety measures from coming into play.

So take a moment today to buy a proofreader a drink.

Rachel usually likes to wait until the half-hour mark to toss her audience into a whirlpool of despair, but it was a full show, so she went ahead and shoved us all in early.

She and NBC terrorism analyst Evan Kohlmann discussed the Al Quaeda strategy of making the U.S. chase shadows while failing to take care of our own interests and “bleeding America until bankruptcy” which, uh, seems to be working rather well.

But why focus on that looming long-term disaster when you can score a sound bite and short-term political points?

Politicizing Terror

Rachel noted that the only trend more fun than posting your bra color in your Facebook status is trying to get a little political juice off of a mass murder attempt.

Senator John Cornyn, (R – Texas) for example, suggested that the way to keep us safe from terrorism is to drop health care reform. I guess he’s thinking the terrorists would leave us alone if they knew we were killing off our own fast enough? Sort of like going limp when a mountain lion attacks you?

Rachel ran through a quick summary of the many Republicans who decided to pile on, including Congressman Todd Tiahrt (R – Kansas), who said that God stepped in to stop the panties attack.

I have some questions for Congressman Tiahrt: Couldn’t one use the same logic to deduce that God was the one who switched the data entry letters and got the underpants bomber on the plane in the first place? Are you suggesting that God is just showboating?

Or maybe God got him on and Vishnu kept the attack from succeeding? Oh, great. Now I have to get another lecture from Brit Hume.

David Corn of Mother Jones Magazine dropped in to give us the bone-chilling news that Liz Cheney is not shutting up either, no matter how many times the American people politely nod at her while raising their eyebrows to give their significant others that “let’s leave the party now” look.

XeIA

Rachel reported that even though the CIA said that it had severed ties with Xe, formerly Blackwater, there were Blackwater contractors on-site at the Afghanistan CIA base where several officers were killed last week.

Blackwater isn’t supposed to be involved in CIA operations except as “security or support” personnel, and now Congress would like a word.

Rachel welcomed Jeremy Scahill of The Nation to make you wonder exactly how many “support personnel” we have running around killing people in foreign lands with little or no oversight.

Yes, the whirlpool of despair is still open to swimmers, but please wait half an hour after eating.

Ms. Information

Great jumping horned toads, what the hell is going on out there?

Rachel brought us an incredible number of stories of people just completely losing their crackers over the past week, involving everything from impersonating Secret Service agents to naked winter jogging to declarations of godhood. (Do NOT let that last guy near the database.)

I don’t know what’s going around, but if you are traveling, be careful and do your best to stay sane and sensible. Wear the tinfoil hat if you have to: Better safe than sorry.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Finally, some good news! The president of Uganda supports downgrading that awful kill-the-gays bill to an, um, imprison-the-gays-for-life bill.

And Uganda’s ethics minister favors curing the gays. Because some of our travelin’ friends on the religious right helpfully told him that’s possible. Thanks, fellas! Golly, we didn’t get you anything.

Rachel treated us to a charming educational video from our old pal Scott Lively, who I’m sure has just been working his tail off behind the scenes to help out The Gays. It’s inspiring the way these guys modestly hide their tireless advocacy.

Jeff Sharlet, author of The Family, dropped in to add some disturbing context. As you may have suspected, Sharlet had one or two things to say about Bob Hunter‘s interview earlier in the week.

In fairness to Scott Lively — and I do think it’s important to be fair, because he is plenty awful without exaggeration — I don’t think he really saying that gays are as evil as Nazis and serial killers. I think he’s saying that gays are on the same sliding scale of evil that Nazis and serial killers occupy.

See? He’s a regular cuddlebunny of tolerance.

Now let’s not all fight over who gets to invite him over for pancakes this weekend.

We Are All Sims Now

OK, finally, for real, some pure unbounded joy to send you on your way. Enjoy Rachel and staff’s demonstration of the wonders that TRMS of the future will bring.

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