“The L Word Twister” and other lesbian board game ideas

As you know by now, this is the year your childhood memories will be irrevocably defiled by live-action movie versions of your favorite kiddie toys and games. We protested the Candy Land movie; we wept over the proposed Care Bears film — but right around the time we heard that Rainbow Brite was coming to the big screen, we just gave up the fight. Now we’re ready to compromise everything that’s precious to us.

Over the holiday, we had ourselves a little Veronica Mars marathon, and during a plot rehash our best friend suggested that we make our own version of the classic board game Clue with Veronica Mars people and places. And that led us to our greatest sellout epiphany ever: cross-promotion board games with our favorite TV shows!

Here are some of our pitches:

Veronica Mars Clue — The deluxe edition would feature narration by Kristen Bell.

Daytime TV Life — Now you can watch Olivia and Natalia or Reese and Bianca have a happy, carefree life. Better yet, you can participate as they race around the board collecting paychecks and babies on their way to a state where lesbians can get married!

Gossip Girl-opoly — Blair Waldorf’s headband would make a perfect pewter game piece. For Nate, a joint. For Dan, a Moleskine. For Serena, cleavage?

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The L Word Twister — This version of Twister doubles as a drinking game that you can play with your friends during an L Word marathon. Is someone cheating on her girlfriend while your left foot is on yellow? Drink! Is Shane having sex while your right hand is on green? Drink! Is someone stealing a baby while your left hand is on blue? Drink! The only way to rewatch The L Word is drunk and tangled up in a pile of lesbians.

The crossover board game/TV possibilities are endless: Grey’s Anatomy Operation, Lemon Land (30 Rock Candy Land), Lost Guess Who? Once you’re ready to sellout, nothing can stop you!

Which of our games would you most like to play? Can you think of any other games should we pitch?

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