Proposed resolutions for the lesbian characters of television

Welcome to 2010, year of flying cars, silver jumpsuits and delicious dehydrated pizzas! Wait — I think I am confusing actual 2010 with the ’80s movie version of 2010. Anyway, it’s a new year which can only mean one thing: resolutions! Here’s what we think our favorite gay shows should resolve to do this year.

Grey’s Anatomy — Let Callie and Arizona see the inside of an on-call room, together.

ABC may be the gayest-friendly network on TV, but they’re still working a double standard when it comes to physical affection with same-sex couples. (Ask our brothers at AfterElton.com about Kevin and Scotty from Brothers and Sisters.) In 2010, we’d like to see some actual touching between Callie and Arizona. Not implied touching. Not talking about touching. Some honest, genuine kissing and cuddling and on-call room lovin’.

Melrose Place — Keep Amanda and Ella, lose the rest of the cast

Too harsh? Maybe. But Katie Cassidy as bisexual publicist Ella is a gem. And we all know Heather Locklear can dominate the screen. The rest of the cast/plot of CW’s reboot has been substandard in its freshman season. At the very least, we’d like to see Ella and Heather with twice as much screentime as the other characters, and we’d like to see Ella get with a girl when it’s not Sweeps.

Heroes — Send Gretchen gently into that good night

Gretchen’s romance with Claire has been a publicity stunt since the word "lesbian." We have to give NBC props for at least trying to develop that storyline, but at this point it’s obvious that Claire doesn’t reciprocate Gretchen’s feelings, and it’s obvious that Gretchen’s time is drawing to a close. We’d like to see her leave alive. Save the lesbian, save the fan fiction.

Friday Night Lights — More Devin Boland

Friday Night Lights has the distinction of being the only NBC drama that doesn’t put us to sleep. We even added it to the DVR when Devin came out last season. Now we’d like to see more of her. She doesn’t need to be in a relationship; in fact, it would be refreshing to see a confident, authentic, single lesbian character like Devin navigate her way through high school in a town like Dillon.

Skins — Keep doing what you’re doing

Seriously. Naomily forever.

Bones — Give Angela a storyline

We know, we know. Angela is going to end up with Hodgins. Bones creator Hart Hanson said the two are more destined to be together than even Booth and Brennan. Even if she’s not with a women, we’d like to see more of Angela on our TV. This season she’s taken a backseat to even the supporting cast. She didn’t even get to participate in the episode that was just one long Avatar commercial. More holograms and facial reconstruction in 2010!

All My Children — Book Bianca and Reese a flight home from Paris

We know they’ve got issues. Bianca and her lovers have always had issues. But we’d like to watch them play out on screen. We don’t want Bianca showing up in 2011 with her luggage and a bunch of exposition about how Reese married a French pastry chef. Show us, don’t tell us, AMC. It’s the first rule of good story-making.

Stargate: Universe — Give Camile a reason to smile

Poor Camile Wray: trapped on an ancient ship away from the woman she loves. We’d frown a lot too, if we were her — but there’s got to be something to grin about in space. Our favorite lesbian IOA officer is awfully prickly. We’d like to see SGU round out her character a bit more. And we’d like the controversial body-swapping episode (in which she’ll have sex with a man) to not suck.

The Real L Word — Keep migrating Midwesterners away from the pool

Here’s a new train, Ilene. Try not to wreck this one.

What do you want from your favorite gay shows in 2010?

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