TV

Beals puts the L in Lifetime

I know you probably watch Lifetime every day, but you might have missed a little gem called Troubled Waters last night. And by “little gem,” I mean “barely watchable tripe.” In the movie, Jennifer Beals plays an FBI agent who has a sixth sense that allows her to reimagine crimes. Not a new concept, and not an innovative movie in any sense of the word. I mean, it’s nice to see Beals in almost anything, and it’s funny to watch her say “Beck” into her cell phone (it sounds a lot like “Bette”). But speaking of phones, she definitely phoned this one in.

Smart viewers switched over to the VH1 New Year’s Day marathon of Beauty and the Geek. Wouldn’t it be great if they made an all-lesbian version of that show? Beauty and the Butch, maybe. The beauties would have to go shopping at Home Depot, and the butches would have to model all the clothes Helena and Tina have worn on The L Word. You’re right, that last idea is just cruel.

Anyway, if you insist on seeing everything Beals has ever done, Troubled Waters airs again on January 21.

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