RachelWatch: Rachel Pulls the Cloak off the Stealth Campaigns

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Today: Violence in Afghanistan, guns at our town halls, and the political ramifications of Eurovision.

Stealth Campaigning

OK, you don’t need to tie yourself to anything before today’s first clip.

But you do need to remove all hard, portable objects from the room.

Because you will be compelled to whack yourself in the forehead with them. Learn from my mistake and get a trusted neighbor to take care of your ball peen hammer for a while.

I used to think of dishonesty as a vice. I was incorrect. It’s a freaking art form.

Senator Bernie Sanders (I – Vermont) joined Rachel in disgust.

One More Thing:

Rachel brought us an update on the Bonner & Associates mail fraud scandal, in which the company sent out letters against climate change using stolen letterhead from the NAACP and the American Association of University Women, among others.

Five more faked letters have been revealed — all from old age homes in Pennsylvania and Virginia, for some reason — and a total of 58 letters are under review.

Bonner & Associates claims that the fake letters were sent out by a temp.

To you that may sound like a bad excuse, but to me that sounds like the best, most exciting day of temping in the history of the Universe.

“Hi. Could you unjam the copier and scrape the gum off the carpet in the conference room? Thanks. Oh, and after you restart the coffee maker, could you commit a few dozen quick felonies? We’ll put you on time and a half.”

Guns n’ Poses

You know those ha ha loonbats who were so wacky and out there and oh, that’s Amurrica for ya for bringing assault weapons to Presidential appearances?

With a little research, they got way less funny.

New York Times columnist Frank Rich joined Rachel to talk about the people who get scary when they feel scared and out of control.

Life During Wartime

Rachel reported on a new round of bombings in Baghdad on Wednesday, and on the scary atmosphere surrounding today’s elections in Afghanistan.

Six American troops were killed in Afghanistan on Tuesday, bringing the total of soldiers killed in Afghanistan this month alone to 32.

The Afghan government will not allow the press to report violent incidents during the election, but we know how getting news directly to the people is done now.

Rachel pointed viewers to the Alive in Afghanistan website, where people can report and map what they’re seeing and hearing. The site is fascinating and already very upsetting.

Let Baijans Be Baijans

You need to wind down after all that.

How about some of the magic that is Eurovision? Surely that is only pure joy, and could in no way be sullied with politics, right? Right?!

Sigh. Yeah, me too.

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