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Come on down, and go on home

Bob Barker has announced that he’s retiring in June. That’s right: it’s his final Showcase Showdown, his last spin of the big wheel, his bye-bye to Hi Lo, his adios to Plinko.

Presumably it’s also his last dalliance with the Beauties, but who can say? Well, he’ll probably spend his golden years on animal rights stuff. He and Betty White and Mary Tyler Moore can break into medical labs at night and reveal their dark sides by swearing gratuitously during interviews at charity events. Good times.

And who will replace him on the show? I vote for Amy Sedaris. I have no idea whether she’d be interested, and I don’t even feel confident that she’d do a good job. I’d just like to see her on TV every day, and I’d like us all to quit pretending that there isn’t something kind of twisted about The Price is Right.

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