Today: Representative Patrick Murphy thinks Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is stupid and Rachel talks to the Unabomber’s brother.
She Said He Said
Remember when Nancy Pelosi (D – California) said the CIA misled Congress and Newt Gingrich went on a three-day blusterthon about how nobody in the history of time has ever thought let alone said such an awful, outrageous thing and she should resign and then set herself on fire?
Rachel started us off with the breaking news that CIA head Leon Panetta has apparently admitted in testimony that CIA officials have misled or concealed information from Congress, and several members of the House Intelligence Committee have suggested that just for giggles he might want to stop lying about that publicly instead of only privately.
Newsweek‘s excellent Michael Isikoff popped in to give a little color commentary.
Newt Gingrich, I am really looking forward to the part where you go on the air and apologize to Nancy Pelosi.
Gregory brothers, I am really looking forward to your autotune of the part where Newt Gingrich goes on the air and refuses to apologize to Nancy Pelosi.
Oh, God, Republicans, I don’t care if you have affairs, but I am BEGGING you to stop stuffing notes in each other’s lockers. You are embarrassing beyond belief when you write things down.
Senator John Ensign (R – Nevada), who was freaking free, clear, and forgotten about as long as he kept his head down, didn’t give any national interviews in waders, and didn’t claim to be rafting the Mississippi while he was actually bonking someone, has had a heartbreaking return to the public eye with the revelation of a note to the lady in question.
And it’s handwritten. Does anyone else find that part extra mortifying for some reason?
Rachel read the letter on the air, and I’m sure you can find it if you really need to.
Rachel noted that, beyond Ensign’s hypocrisy, the real issue here is that Republican Party funds may have been used for the sweet $25,000 severance his mistress/staffer got (Not quite a golden parachute — Bronze sheets?) and the fact that her son was on the payroll during the affair.
Which I guess is one way to get him out of the house.
There was also something seriously weird going on with Senator Tom Coburn (R – Oklahoma) being Ensign’s strong-arming breakup buddy and some sort of Christian Fellowship/Affairs Clearinghouse Senatorial Dorm called C Street.
My brain is currently at war with itself over whether I want to hear every single loonball thing about C Street or nothing ever again.
New York Times columnist Frank Rich dropped by to finish off the discussion of the Embarrassing Republican Round Robin with a chat about Sarah Palin and who her base is and how carefully she’ll need to be deployed.
The careful deployment thing should work out well. She’s good at following directions.
I have a new theory about Sarah Palin: She doesn’t really want to fundraise for anybody else and she doesn’t really want to win political office again. She just wants to campaign forever and give speeches about how she’s both a victim and a fightin’ maverick and have makeup artists and super cool hairdos and junk.
The only flaw in her current plan is that there is always the danger that Republicans will start winning stuff again. She needs to set up an even smaller, crazier, angrier party who will throw money at her losing campaigns for the rest of her life.
I’d suggest reviving the Bull Moose party, but they’d never be able to get her to stop shooting at the mascot.
Rachel reported that in addition to firing poorly aimed missiles over the Fourth of July weekend, North Korea may have been sending coordinated denial-of-service attacks against The Washington Post and several government agencies.
They know we are at our most vulnerable when we are sunburned and full of hot dogs.
There is also a new taped message from Al-Qaeda in Iraq. It’s allegedly voiced by Abu Omar Al-Baghdadi. Who was supposed to be either in jail or dead or a sort of mythical figure or just an actor who was never really important in the first place.
There are no jokes in that last paragraph. Those are the actual competing theories about him. Sounds like we have the situation pretty well in hand.
Rachel reminded us that President Obama has said that he will sign a repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell if Congress will put one on his desk. Representative Patrick Murphy (D – PA), an Iraq War veteran, is taking him up on that.
His practical annoyance with the law and his basic sense of fairness are good to behold.
It’s easy to forget how good Rachel is at doing interviews that require real sensitivity. Remind yourself with a remarkable clip: Rachel interviewing David Kaczynski, the younger brother of the Unabomber.
The internets rejoiced over Rachel’s return on Tuesday, but an even dorkier segment of the population threw their graphing calculators in the air over the return of Numbers Nerd Rachel. Welcome back! We missed you!