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‘Wynonna Earp’ S2 E12: “I Hope You Dance”

Mum’s the word this season, and the branches on the Earp family tree just keep growing.

When we last left Wynonna Earp, everyone was finally on their way out of Dopplegangland and back into the real Purgatory. Now we know what the tiny town would be like without the gunslinger, and as ugly as things are right now, they’d be much worse without our badass Mommy-to-be.

Wynonna is promptly dropped right back in the action, still uber pregnant and uber in danger as she waltzes in to protect Waverly from the Widows and a newly resurrected Bobo, who remarks on the “new gay Waverly.” She snaps back about Bobo’s womanly coat, while the sister-wives and Bobo inform the Earp sisters that the third seal has been broken, allowing Clootie to rise. The ground shudders and the Earp girls are laid out, where they regroup and Waverly atones for her transgressions and Wynonna laments over her labor pains.

Bobo and the sister-wives head down to the tomb where gooey Clootie is weak, but stirring. The Widows brainstorm over ways to restore their beloved husband’s strength, and just as Beth suggests that a sacrifice of the Earp baby would do the trick (because eating babies is always the answer for evil things), Mercedes decides she wants out of the family affair. Mercedes traps Bobo and Beth underground with Clootie and takes off to track down Wynonna herself.

Meanwhile, Dolls wakes up in a body bag and scurries off to reunite with the rest of the gang, sans a missing Doc Holliday. Everyone meets up at the homestead to chat about Wynonna’s vagina while Doc goes to search for Doc, who is now`mortal and more than a little bit annoyed about being killed by Dolls in Dopplegangland.

In between pee breaks, Wynonna shows the rest of the group what she’s discovered about the Peacemaker: it glows when it comes in contact with the plate, because they’re made with the same metal. Since the Peacemaker alone can’t hurt the Widows or Clootie, they take both the gun and the plate to the Iron Witch and force her to make a weapon out of the plate. The Witch is only able to forge one single bullet to take down Clootie, so it’s a good thing Wynonna has become such a stellar shot.

Back at headquarters, Jeremy and Nicole are brainstorming to discover where Bobo is keeping gooey Clootie, but they’re interrupted by Mercedes, who now looks like a White Witch in her own right. She wipes Haught and Jeremy out along with everyone else in the vicinity before confronting Wynonna, who promptly gets a knife to the throat from Beth. Just as both sister-wives are threatening to take Wynonna for her own prisoner, Doc shows up and claims he’s just going to take Wynonna out himself rather than let either of them have her and their unborn child. Wynonna whips out Peacemaker, and the two go bullet for bullet in a real Romeo and Juliet moment.

Doc and Wynonna let it fly simultaneously, and Doc’s bullet splits the special Iron Witch bullet in two so that each half nails a sister-wife right in the head, sending them straight back to hell. Now that the one and only bullet that stood a chance against Clootie (whose official demon name is apparently Balshasar), Wynonna is back at square one for a solution. However, all of that is going to have to wait, because Doc has clocked his baby mama’s contractions at less than 12 minutes apart, and he knows that means it’s time, since the gunslinger has been doing his research like a good daddy.

Waverly and Rosita rush Wynonna into Shorty’s to set up shop for a makeshift birthing room, while Dolls goes to track down her doctor and Doc takes Jeremy to take down Bobo and find Bulshar. Dolls is blocked right at the city limits by Ewan and the Brotherhood, who have murdered the good doctor. Ewan proclaims that the Brotherhood will be the ones to raise and train baby Earp/Holliday because Wynonna would just screw it up. Little do they know that Wynonna doesn’t plan on raising the baby herself either, because she wants her little one to be as safe as possible.

Back at Shorty’s Rosita and Waverly prep Wynonna for labor, and while they’re discussing the plans for the baby, Rosita suddenly knocks Waverly out and announces her plans to steal Wynonna’s baby as her travel ticket out of the Ghost Triangle, along with a horde of other Revenants. Just as Rosita is about to invade Wynonna’s vagina in a very non-sexy way, Waverly wakes up and manages to fire one shot off the Peacemaker to scare Rosita off. However, the Peacemaker can’t decide whether or not Waverly is allowed to handle it, which makes her heritage all the more mysterious.

Wynonna gives birth off-screen while Doc and Jeremy confront Bobo, who has been blessed (cursed) by Bulshar, and now has lusciously bleached blonde locks and is hovering in some kind of straight jacket. It’s all really rather terrifying and white-padded-room.

Doc tosses Bobo on some stakes and traps him in a well while revealing that he was, in fact, trapped in hell too after Doc killed him. Bobo, on the other hand, taunts Doc with the claim that he has promised Clootie that he could have Waverly as his bride, but claims that although she’s kin, Waverly isn’t his daughter.

Bobo’s claim is confirmed as Waverly tests her and the baby’s heritage by walking her new niece across the border while Haught stands by, ready to pull them both across the line at the first sign of trouble. After both Auntie and baby are cleared of being tainted with Revenant blood, Wayhaught share a touching smooch as Nicole gives Waverly reassurance that regardless of where she came from, Waverly is an incredible woman.

Too bad that for now, Haught is a married woman, and these two are up for the whole sister-wives arrangement. Just as Wayhaught is about to hand Alice over to Perry, who arrives in a helicopter to take the baby someplace far away and safe, Doc shows up to meet his daughter and say goodbye.

Doc and Wynonna bond over the birth and prompt loss of their lovechild, and afterward, the rest of the group happily relaxes during the calm before the Bulshar storm comes while Wynonna takes off on her bike. As this explosive season finale concludes, two final bombs are dropped to leave us wondering for the next ten months.

First, Haught sits in her car perusing both her divorce papers and an enigmatic file on Balsashar, so apparently the Black Badges have some secret intel. Finally, Wynonna cruises to a remote location and approaches a woman wrapped in a blanket, starting out at the water. As Wynonna walks up to the woman, she calls her Momma and asks what to do about Bulshar’s revival.

What did you think of the Wynonna Earp finale? What role do you think Momma Earp is going to play in Season 3? Do you think Wynonna made the right decision about Alice? Sound off in the comments!

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