‘Pretty Little Liars’ Recap S7 E17: Driving Miss Crazy

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This time on Pretty Little Liars…

Aria agrees to some pre-wedding dance lessons after all, as we open with she and Ezra stepping it out. It’s more than apparent that Aria is in physical pain over the grunt work she’s doing for A.D., who calls after the dance lesson to give her another task. Finally, we find out that the file A.D. is hanging over Aria’s head is a police report she filled out years ago against Ezra but never filed. I just can’t get over Aria’s decision to throw her dignity away to keep her fiance out of jail. Aria, don’t you remember those words you wrote and the place they came from? But cool, throw the Liars under the bus instead.

Furey stops by Hanna’s house to interrogate her over the flood, but she and Caleb tag team to fend him off. In a last ditch effort for intimidation, Furey reveals that he’s already questioned her mother about Caleb’s involvement with the security system. Ashley Mirren  returns to town just in time to begin panicking all over again over Hanna’s well being, but Caleb insists that she isn’t in any trouble. Where are the rest of the Wine Moms? I’ve missed them so much.

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Also, a side note, Alison has slipped away to visit her brother Jason, and I never thought I’d say this but I miss the little brat in this episode. If she and Emily are going to be together, I might as well at least get to enjoy Ali’s snark.

Aria hides her shady A.D. task by masquerading as a helpful friend who brings dinner to the Hastings house, but in fact she leaves behind a speaking that begins blaring a recording of a phone conversation Mr. Hastings has with Mary Drake over the dead body buried in his backyard. A Hastings family meeting is held to contemplate who broke into their house, because apparently that’s what it takes for the three of them to be in the same room these days. Maybe Melissa will make an appearance sometime soon. I’m still cashing in on her being the mastermind of the whole operation.

Tension over Mona’s involvement with the game rise  as she reveals to Emily that she’s discovered the name of the fertility doctor who performed Ali’s procedure. Mona and Emily masquerade as a lesbian couple looking for help conceiving to get in front of the doctor, who sends them away once he realizes their motivations. While in the doctor’s office, Mona snatches a fertility magazine with the good doc’s home address on it. When Mona initially proposed this idea, I got too excited, because the dynamic in this scene is uber disappointing. At least play the part Em, Mona needs practice being out with a woman so she can muster up the courage to make a play for Hanna before the wedding!

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Paranoia gets the best of Aria, so she calls Spencer to check in, and the two have a superficial conversation of concern. After she hangs up, Ezra embarks on attempt number 14336776 on magically becoming a romantic, caring fiance for Aria, who shrugs in indifference. Instead of assuming something unrelated is wrong with Aria, he begins pleading with her to fully forgive him for exploiting her high school years for a book. Sometimes I forget exactly how many awful things this dude has done.

Furey stops Spencer in the middle of the street to remark on her personal involvement with Caleb and the implications, but she shuts him down like a badass. Unfortunately, that fearlessness dissipates when she gets back in her car and is overcome by her dearest biological mother. Mary Drake leads her to a shady hotel, where she reveals a flashback of a visit Mary made to the Hastings home. She pleads with Spencer to stay with her once her parents move, for a fresh start.

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