Why the Lesbian Threesome in “Unicornland” is Hit and Miss

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“Straight girls get to have all of the fun, but none of the consequences.” It’s a line that comes up in the last moments of episode 6, titled “Woulda Coulda” in the new series Unicornland. In this episode, a lesbian couple takes home another woman for a night of fun and sex. The next morning, the three women cuddle, discuss their rules for threesomes and then venture out from their love nest to find food. On their way to dinner the women have an altercation with two straight dudes and it does not end well. The guys proceed to express their love for lesbians (typical), invade their personal space and physically separate the couple holding hands, all while the straight woman looks on innocently.

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The portrayal of lesbian relationships in this episode is somewhat accurate. There are definitely lesbian couples that have open relationships. That’s true. On the other hand, there are also many, many lesbian couples that don’t. I would say, most lesbian relationships are just like heterosexual relationships. They sleep with each other, maybe dabble in one or two threesomes (if they’re lucky and open to that sort of thing) and have normal sex lives. In this episode, lesbians are portrayed as being down for anything, open for any kind of sex they can get and chill as a cucumber. Lesbians don’t get jealous, right? Wrong. Also, many lesbians are not completely comfortable exposing their sexual nature at all times. Sorry Unicornland, but I think you missed the mark on this.

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As for the men that harass the gay couple on the street, it wouldn’t be a lighthearted, annoying encounter and it wouldn’t result in an eye roll. If two men physically touched my girlfriend and I on the street I would be terrified. I would also probably, run, cry and cower in fear. Being harassed by men is frightening enough, but being harassed by men over your sexuality is even worse. The way these women react was as if a toddler pulled their hair. Also, one of the women says “you’re making our guest uncomfortable”. Who cares about the guest? Are you kidding me?! Nobody cares about the guest! These women were just harassed for their sexuality! Somebody call the cops! The straight girl should be consoling them! Last but not least, did they really have to include vegan references? NOT ALL LESBIANS ARE VEGAN! Jesus Christ.

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The straight girl that sleeps with the lesbian couple could be a real person living in the world. I know many straight girls that are into other women and interested in sleeping with lesbian couples. Would they be brave enough to do it? Maybe. Would they stick around all night and have dinner with them the next day? I’m not so sure.

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Listen, I get what the show is going for. Being gay is tough! The straight women get to desire other women then walk away into their heterosexual lives without any repercussions. They don’t have people stare at them on the street. They don’t have to prove their love to straight men. They don’t have to worry about holding hands with their girlfriend and they don’t have to ever come out of the closet. They can live their lives sleeping with other women but brush it under the rug and keep it there. Although expressing your love openly for women is liberating, it’s a challenge and an uphill battle.

Like the show says, “straight girls get to have all of the fun, but none of the consequences.” Just remember, not every lesbian wants to sleep with you… and we are definitely not all vegan.

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