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Holby City recap (26.52): It’s Only Love If It Hurts

Last Time on Holby City: At the beginning of the episode, Serena joked with Bernie about mixing her sleeping pills with wine, but reassured her partner that she was joking when Bernie became concerned. Things take a turn for the worse when Serena found out that her daughter’s heart was transplanted into a patient at Holby. After the patient died, it sent Serena into a tailspin and resulted in her telling Jasmine that she’d rather Jasmine had died as opposed to Ellie. Ouch.

Throughout 2017, Serena (Catherine Russell) and Bernie’s (Jemma Redgrave) relationship has been put on the back burner, while Serena has dealt with the death of her daughter, Ellie’s. As such, the majority of Serena’s storylines have focused on her feud with Jasmine (Lucinda Dryzek), who she unfairly blames for Ellie’s death.

Holby City really did the storyline justice, by refusing to force Serena to get over Ellie’s death in just a few episodes, which most shows tend to do. They let her grief bleed over, charting the ups and downs of the emotional rollercoaster that is losing a child.

In tonight’s episode, everything is brought to a head and nothing will ever be the same again.

 

When the episode opens, Bernie, Fletch (Alex Walkinshaw), and Jasmine are running up the stairs to the hospital roof desperate to find Serena. When they reach the door to the roof, its stuck so Fletch calls for security to come and open the door.

Bernie notices that Serena’s leopard print do-rag is in the stairwell and fears that it may be too late by the time security gets there, so she starts throwing herself against the door, screaming Serena’s name.

 

Bernie: “Serena.”

 

As the door gives way, the audience is transported back to the start of the day, where we see Serena on the roof smoking. She appears to take offence at a pigeon, yelling at it to fly off, before dropping her cigarette on the floor and crushing it beneath her shoe. The camera then pans down ominously towards the concrete below.

 

Serena: “Go on, fly.”

 

While Serena is on her smoke break, Jasmine talks to Bernie about her mentor’s behavior; specifically, the “I wish you were dead” comment. Bernie advises that Jasmine stays out of Serena’s way, but the younger doctor confesses that she’s becoming increasing scared of Serena’s behavior. Bernie assures Jasmine that she will speak to Serena on her behalf but that they need to get on with the task at hand; removing a nail from a builder’s leg.

 

Jasmine: “What am I supposed to do?”

Bernie: “Your job.”

 

 

When Serena comes down from the roof, Bernie goes over to check on her partner. She asks if Serena has been smoking which the brunette denies until Bernie notes that she can smell the smoke on Serena.

 

Serena: “Pot, Kettle, darling.”

Bernie: “But I smoke. You don’t.”

Serena: “Shoot me then.”

Bernie encourages her girlfriend to go easy on Jasmine and even tells her to take more time off, should she need it. Serena freely admits that Jasmine would be right to report her for that comment, but Bernie tries to downplay the situation, insisting that it can still be fixed.

Serena refuses to apologise and Bernie advises that she concentrate on her work and helping the department to stay on track, but Serena seems rather nonplussed with the situation. When Bernie calls her on her attitude, Serena is rather callous in response.

 

Bernie: “You do care about your job, don’t you?”

Serena: “If nothing else in my life.”

Bernie: “Nothing?”

Serena: “Now is not the time to be fishing for affection.”

 

Woah, talk about cold.

Jasmine attempts to discuss the issue with Serena but she gets shot down. Not only does Serena refuse to apologize for telling Jasmine that she wanted her dead, she almost looks gleeful about it.

 

Serena: “We’re not best friends going through a crisis in our relationship. I’m your boss, you are my F1.”

Jasmine: “I just want to know what I can do to make this better.”

 

Serena is clearly still angry with Jasmine for allowing the patient who received Ellie’s heart to die. However, Matteo (Christian Vit) was the surgeon who stopped Jasmine from ordering tests which may have saved Jo’s life, because he had no reason to suspect that the tests would help.

Fletch then brings in a particularly colorful character called Dotty (Gwen Taylor) who is suffering from a hangover and food poisoning from oysters, but is that the whole story?

All of the doctors seem quite amused by the fact that Dotty ate oysters and keep questioning her on it.

 

Dotty: It’s Dotty, never Dorothy.

Serena: You said oysters?

Dotty: Makes me sound like a lesbian… not that I’ve got anything against them.

Jasmine: But oysters?

Dotty: Oysters or lesbians…Some of my best friends are…oysters.

 

It’s worth noting that Dotty is looking straight at Serena as she delivers that final line; she’s got remarkable gaydar that woman.

Later, Jason (Jules Robertson) approaches his Aunty Serena to tell her that he’s checked out a self-help book on bullying from the library so that Serena can learn how to stop bullying Jasmine, which apparently, Bernie has told him all about.

Serena, who probably doesn’t want this broadcast to the whole ward, attempts to end the conversation by walking away but Jason doesn’t get the hint and follows her into her office. There she snaps at him to leave her alone and storms off the ward; leaving Jason shaken and needing comfort from Jasmine.

 

Serena: “Oh, just leave me alone.”

 

Bernie follows Serena and finds her hiding in a bathroom. She tells Serena that she cannot take out her emotions on vulnerable people like Jason and Jasmine any longer and insists that if Serena wants to shout at someone she should shout at Bernie because she loves her and isn’t going anywhere.

Serena callously rejects the offer, stating that Bernie’s love won’t make her feel any better.

It’s such a powerful moment that it needed to be repeated in full below; anything else wouldn’t have done them justice.

 

Bernie: “You want to fight Serena Campbell, you fight me. You want a punching bag, here it is, take a swing.”

Serena: “Leave me alone.”

Bernie: “No, I’m getting through to you if I have to rip your head off and pour sense inside it.”

Serena: “Just try.”

Bernie: “Come on then, hit me. Shout at me. Do whatever you want. But to me.”

Serena: “Don’t tempt me.”

Bernie: “Because I can take it, I’m tough. I’m bloody tough and I love you. So, you want to vent, you vent at me: not at Jasmine, definitely not Jason. Me.”

Serena: “Leave me alone.”

Bernie: “No. I love you enough to put up with anything you dish out. I can take it- they can’t.”

Serena:”You think you loving me will make me feel better? Guess what? It doesn’t.”

And you thought that Serena was cold earlier. Throughout this episode, Bernie is only trying to help Serena and all she gets in response is rejection.

Jasmine, unable to take Serena’s mostly unwarranted criticism anymore, hands in her notice to Bernie.

The ex-army doctor attempts to talk to Serena and begs her to convince Jasmine to stay, but Serena is flippant about the whole situation; trying to distance herself from the problem. She appears resigned to the fact that the relationship between her and the junior doctor is beyond saving.

 

Bernie: “You’re letting her ruin her career.”

 

Later, Serena confronts Jasmine and tries to convince her to stay; although she does begin the conversation by accusing Jasmine of acting like a spoiled child, so it’s shocking that it doesn’t work out.

When Jasmine refuses to retract her resignation, Serena assaults the young doctor. Thankfully, Jac (Rosie Marcel) sees the altercation and breaks the two up.

 

Jac: “You lay another finger on her and I will snap it clean off.”

She drags the pair to Bernie’s office and informs the group that she’s already informed Hanssen (Guy Henry) of this issue. Not surprising, considering that Jac first raised the subject of Serena bullying Jasmine with the CEO after finding her sister in tears, a few weeks ago.

Once the sisters leave, Serena confesses that she probably was about to hit Jasmine, but she doesn’t seem in the slightest bit sorry.

 

Serena: “She’s right, I probably was this close to hitting her.”

 

Serena confesses that she isn’t sure she recognizes herself anymore and Bernie tells her that she wants to help but she isn’t sure how. She also has to tell Serena that Jason wants to move out.

Later on, Serena and Jasmine are brought before Hanssen to talk about the incident; which he regards as incredibly serious. Before Jasmine can say a word, Serena tells Hanssen that everything Jasmine has said is true and takes responsibility – it’s almost like she wants to be punished.

 

Serena: “For months now, I’ve been a cow… I wanted to hurt her and she deserved none of it.”

However, Jasmine withdraws the complaint over the objections of Hanssen and Serena. Jasmine leaves the room but Serena still wants to confess. However, Hanssen shuts her down, warning that anything she says to him will have to be put on her record.

 

Hanssen: “What you say here is hospital business; I’d have to follow through.”

Serena: “Perhaps you should.”

 

Then Serena tries to confess to Bernie, but the blonde tells her that she should thank her lucky stars that Jasmine isn’t taking it any further. Will anyone listen to Serena?

Serena tries to mend her fences with Jason by telling him that she’d read the book. She said that by standing up to her, he’d helped Jasmine. However, he still tells her that he wants to move out because she had changed since Ellie’s death and Serena looks crushed.

 

Jason: “I still want to go live with Alan…because you are not the same Aunty Serena that you were before.”

 

As Jason walks away, Jasmine tells her that Dotty has taken a turn for the worse. In surgery, Dotty bleeds out and Serena is devastated.

Afterwards, Serena disappears and Bernie is worried when she doesn’t turn up for an elective surgery. She asks Fletch and Jasmine if they’ve seen her but they haven’t, so she heads off to look for her but she’s soon joined again by the pair who have heard that Serena was last seen heading for the roof. Suddenly, we’re back to the beginning again and the trio is hurtling up the stairs.

Bernie throws her entire body weight against the door and breaks through, screaming Serena’s name.

Luckily, Serena is not anywhere near the edge but sitting down, with her headphones in. When she sees the trio, she starts to laugh.

 

Serena: “On my god, you thought I’d come up here to throw myself off?”

Bernie: “Yes. Are you okay?”

Serena: “Obviously not, I’m sitting in a deck chair, on the roof, in the middle of my shift, guzzling Shiraz. Not exactly typical consultant behavior, is it?”

 

Fletch and Jasmine attempt to leave the couple to their conversation, but Serena calls Jasmine back, apologizing for her behavior and encouraging her to remain a doctor.

After Jasmine leaves, Bernie cuddles up under the blankets with Serena and they discuss what will happen next. Serena wants to take a sabbatical in order to heal properly and deal with her emotions surrounding Ellie’s death.

 

Bernie: “Is there room for me in your future plans?”

Serena: “I hope so.”

 

Unlike, most of Serena’s responses throughout this episode; she isn’t trying to hurt Bernie or push her away. It’s clear that she does want her girlfriend around, but she doesn’t want to drag Bernie off to volunteer at a refugee camp or pick grapes in Southern France if that’s not what Bernie wants to do.

The episode closes on the pair, sharing a gentle kiss under the stars.

 

 

As I close out this recap, I’d like to thank all of you who have been reading my recaps; unfortunately, it looks like the Berena storyline is taking a hiatus, while Serena gets her life back in check so I’m not sure when the next one will be. I hope you’ve enjoyed my recaps, as much as I’ve enjoyed your comments and fan art.

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