“Mary + Jane” recap (1.3): We Didn’t Start The Fire

on

So my country is on the verge of electing a fascist to the presidency, unarmed black men are being murdered by the police, our media is reporting on a celebrity breakup as if all these things have equal news value, and I am writing about a show where weed makes your vagina talk.

mjgif

I’m going to get the plot out of the way so we can get to the analysis because Mary + Jane is actually a pretty interesting case study in the ways networks try to connect with young, queer viewers. I mean, it fails horribly at it, but I find myself fascinated with the ways it fails, like a doctor studying a spectacular rash.

So we begin this week with Jordan and Paige at The Weed Store, because apparently, our heroines are very serious about not getting high on their own supply. At any rate, the proprietress of the store, a MAGICAL BLACK WOMAN who they either call “Mamaji” or “Mama G,” gives them a bottle of weed-enhanced lube. They take it, but not before she makes them promise to treat it with extreme caution/Gremlin rules.

mj3.1VAGINAS AND GREMLINS: THEY’RE ONLY AS CUTE AS HOW YOU TREAT ‘EM.

Next, the story takes our girls to a bridal shower, one of the many matrimonial rituals that eat up every weekend of your life once you turn 26. It’s hosted by Paige’s friend, who, like every character on this show, we are encouraged to both find sympathetic and insufferable. (Have we met a single one of Jordan and Paige’s “friends” who they actually like?)

mj3.2IT’S THAT VERSION OF FEMINISM WHERE YOU HATE ALL WOMEN EQUALLY.

To get through the event, Paige and Jordan give themselves a little slickening with the weed lube, which gives them the magical power to talk and listen to vaginas. Not just their vaginas: every snatch in the place starts revealing its secret hopes, dreams, and desire to free itself from the cotton shackles of underwear. Some white women’s vaginas are voiced by black actors and vice versa, a choice for which I feel a bleak certainty that the writers congratulated themselves for diversity. The point is: the weed lube makes vaginas talk, and it’s not a hallucination, because the girls learn some dark vaginal secrets while under the influence.

More you may like