“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (7.12): Fetch Me My Razor

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Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Jane tells Mama R about the FBI job. Maura doesn’t believe in God because what kind of God would let Jane move away from her. And the wrong Rizzoli pops the question.

Oh, so it’s a flashback episode–1975 to be exact. I’m guessing these aren’t flashbacks to Jane and Maura’s youth because they’d still be toddlers mastering complete sentences and not grade-school kids playing hide-and-seek and finding dead bodies.

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Instead, present-day Jane and Maura are mastering Mama R’s ragu recipe. Maura is also trying to get through her separation anxiety by finding Jane the perfect place she can use as her pied-à-terre in Washington D.C. Please; she calculated the exact drive-time to Jane already; you don’t think she’d also micro-manage where she was staying?

Maura has started a “relocation journal” and checklist for Jane, which we all know is code for “a list of ways you’re going to miss me and ways you can then make it up to me later.”

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Jane freaks out because her “sorry, I’m a bad girlfriend and moving away to run from my feelings”-game plan isn’t getting her away from her feelings fast enough. She says she can’t talk about it anymore. So then Mama R starts crying. And Maura starts crying. And, as we all know, it’s a sin to make Dr. Maura Isles cry. So Jane gives up and decides to drown all their sorrows in wine.

See. EVERYONE HATES THIS IDEA AND WANTS TO DRINK UNTIL IT GOES AWAY.

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