RachelWatch: The Defense Does Not Rest

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Today: Rachel chats with Eliot Spitzer and sends Melissa Harris-Lacewell after Rush Limbaugh.

Best When Used by 1/20/09

You’ll never guess who’s been surfing the airwaves again. Cheney, you say? Oh, I guess you will.

Rachel led us through a brief history of Cheney’s best sound bites, including my personal favorite, the assertion that because of torture “we successfully defended the nation against a follow-up attack for seven and a half years.”

Based on that logic, torturing people has also kept us safe from werewolves, triffids, Ming the Merciless, swarms of carnivorous bunnies, basilisks, flying saucer invasions, the earth breaking free of its orbit and hurtling out into empty space, robot sharks, giant bats, the dead rising from the grave to feast on the living, rat-monkeys, oobleck, cat-women of the moon, sentient clams, and centaurs.

So I guess we have to keep hanging people from the ceiling.

Besides, Cheney points out that in desperate times, we have to use torture to get “quality information.” Like the quality information elicited in the 1600’s that numerous criminals used animal familiars in the shape of pigs to bewitch their neighbors.

Hey, Dick! You know where you could have gotten some quality information on potential terrorist attacks? From the departing Clinton staffers who begged you to keep an eye on Bin Laden months before 9/11 happened.

Rachel welcomed Retired Army Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson, who wishes the Republican Party would get some tranquilizer darts.

Now, now, Colonel Wilkerson. Don’t knock the guy just because he lied to us for years. Remember: You can’t spell “Liberty” without “Lie.”

Or at least that’s what Cheney’s tattoo says.

“We shouldn’t torture people” seems like a bipartisan no-brainer. Why on earth are Republican leaders falling into the trap of making Hooray for Torture into a Republican position? They were happy to distance themselves from Bush and Cheney during the election. Why not now?

This Way Out?

In other news that seems depressingly not new, Rachel reported on the latest horrific violence in Afghanistan and mentioned again that our strategic goals are a wee bit unclear.

Iraq and Afghanistan Veteran Andrew Exum of the Center for a New American Security returned to make you feel a tiny bit better about the change in leadership and then bum you right out of existence.

Ms. Information

Rush Limbaugh picks up the ludicrous “Obama is purposefully trying to destroy the economy” idea and Melissa Harris-Lacewell takes him down, Obama wins a nuclear battle, and Dan Choi would like a word. Enjoy.

The Eliot Spitzer Interview

Maybe the saddest thing about the Eliot Spitzer scandal is that we lost someone who had the knowledge and righteous anger to go after some of the sleaziest of the weaselbag financiers.

Spitzer joined Rachel in the studio to talk about the collapse and explain in infuriating detail how much we’re not getting out of the bank bailout and the disturbingly close ties between Washington and Wall Street.

After the break, Rachel asked Spitzer about his decision to resign. She may be polite, but that doesn’t mean she shies away from embarrassing questions like “Do you think prostitution should be legal?” She really hits the perfect tone of voice for “I don’t mean to be indelicate, but you’re not getting away without answering this.”

Until next time, be well, and keep an eye peeled for rat-monkeys.

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