“The Fosters” recap (4.9): Flashbacks for Everyone!

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Previously on The Fosters, it was two episodes before the finale, so everything is in chaos. Mariana is competitive! Jude is smoking pot! Jesus had a nail in his brain! Stef and Lena were losing their house! Brandon couldn’t find enough cake to eat!

Callie, Jude, Jesus, and Mariana are sitting in the living room with the moms. First, Stef and Lena want to know whose pipe they found. They really, really think it’s Callie’s while Jude pretends not to know what it is. Sure buddy, stick to that story. The big new is that Stef and Lena are getting a divorce. Whaaaaaaaat?

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Don’t worry they aren’t going to leave that one hanging. Oh, wait: The story skips back 36 hours so we can figure out what brings the moms to a place where filing for divorce is a good idea. Personally, I am guessing the pipe wasn’t all they found, and Stef and Lena must be high to consider breaking up.

Brandon gets ready to go to the airport for his big audition. He tells Cortney he loves her and to say goodbye to Mason for him.

Across town, the realtor barges into Stef and Lena’s bedroom with the buyer and her contractor in tow. Lena forgot to tell Stef, and now three strangers have seen them both in their jammies. Since, you know, the couple is so intent on getting in the house and having it ready for their baby they need to measure and plan for destroying Stef and Lena’s house before all the boxes are even packed.

Stef pulls Lena into the hall to ask what the hell she was thinking letting this lady into their house while they are packing. Lena hasn’t even found them a place to live. When Stef stomps off in a huff, Lena remembers when she convinced Stef to buy the place with her. I have said it at least a dozen times before but I would love an entire episode devoted to Stef and Lena: The Dating Years. Lena wants the house; she wants it, and Stef is just too darn practical. Lena wants it because it feels right and then all the kids could have their own rooms. Stef is a little hesitant, but she agrees because Lena is a joyous force of nature.

Back in the present, Mariana drops a box of items on the porch and checks the mail. She finds Jesus’ ADHD meds and steals them. Mariana is stressed about her work and robots and Nick and the house and she just needs a little help getting through it all. Someone cue of Jessie Spano’s episode of Saved by the Bell, please.

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Jude is cleaning out his room, and he finds the video game player that Connor gave him in Season One. Oh, the flashback broke my heart. Look at how tiny they are. When Callie appear Jude tells her, the game is garbage. Oh, Judicorn you can’t just chuck a broken heart. It doesn’t work that way. He’s snippy with Callie for what happened with Noah and sends her off with a bunch of growls. Noah texts to say he’s going to sneak out to see Jude that night.

Mike is helping Stef in the kitchen with boxes and the tip that there’s an apartment open in his building when Brandon/Rachel Berry calls from New York. He’s headed to Lincoln Center to dream his dream or whatever. Instead of Carmen Thibodaux, he meets Ariel who is supposed to be his roommate because the school screwed up and thought she was a guy named Ari. Joey Potter has seen this episode before. But instead of being a complete douche, Ariel turns out to want to take Brandon all over New York City (the real New York, because she’s cool like that). She serves all this up with a side of kissing Brandon and telling him to break up with Cortney before his audition. I don’t know, Ari, I take it back, you are a bit like the douche who showed Joey around.

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