“Scream” recap (2.12): Killer ID

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Going into the finale, Scream’s second season is lagging behind the first in terms of body count, but as everyone knows, the closer you get to the finish line, the harder it becomes to stay alive. Just ask Brooke’s dad–that is if you’ve got a Ouija board handy. Last week, Emma and Audrey were arrested when the sheriff found them standing over the mayor’s fresh corpse with weapons in their hands.  This week, their Drive of Shame in the back of the cop car is interrupted by Ghostface jumping out and making the deputy swerve off the road. Wouldn’t it be funny if one of these times that didn’t work, and the killer ended up splattered all over the highway by some rando in a Subaru?

scream 12.1Does your insurance cover vehicular plot twists?

No one is hurt, but when the deputy gets out to check on the car, Ghostface sticks a knife through all his major organs in alphabetical order. Then he hands Emma and Audrey the keys to their handcuffs before disappearing again. Emma has the presence of mind to grab the gun the deputy dropped as they make their escape. I don’t know why I’m mentioning that. I’m sure it won’t come up again.

scream 12.2I can run for my life and check out Emma’s ass at the same time. It’s called multitasking.

Lang tells the sheriff her theory that Emma and Audrey are sharing a psychotic break. She thinks they’re so traumatized by Piper’s rampage that they’re reenacting it, starring themselves as Piper. Oh, but we’re just not going to talk about the entire town’s shared delusion that Brooke is heterosexual?

When they stop at a gas station, the Final Girls get a call from Ghostface warning them not to turn themselves in. Just then, with impeccable television timing, there’s a breaking news bullet about Emma and Audrey being wanted for murder. They hit the road again before the cashier can call the cops.

Gustavo knocks on Brooke’s door while she’s cutting up oranges with what I vainly hope will turn out to be Chekhov’s kitchen knife.

scream 12.3You know what they say: if there’s a knife on the counter in the first act, don’t fucking talk to me.

He didn’t answer her midnight “my dad got murdered” booty call text because his phone died, but he thinks Audrey might have done it. More specifically, he really wants her to think Audrey did it. Yeah, you don’t get to hang around Chez The Late Mayor Brooke’s Dad if you’re going to talk shit about Brooke’s girlfriend. Bye, Stavo.

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