Emily comforts Ali, who is heartbroken that Charlotte and Rollins just used her to get Charlotte released. Emily says that Charlotte could have still used her AND loved her at the same time, because sometimes that happens. You know, like when you promise your best friend you’ll run off to Paris together and then the next day pretend you don’t like kissing girls? Emily tries to be there for her, but Ali is still pissed about the whole red coat thing, despite Emily’s apologies. Emily leaves, walking past the police car, where a masked man sits and waits.
Sidebar: what is up with the mask-making disparity? Sometimes the masks are perfect replicas of faces (like Wilden) and other times they look like someone smeared silly putty all over their face. I think everyone working for A.D. needs to get on the same page, mask-wise.
Speaking of missed lesbian opportunities, Spencer and Hanna sit on swing sets, share a beer, and ponder their Caleb probs. Spencer encourages Hanna to be honest with Caleb, and Hanna tells her about her Spencer hallucination in the barn. Before they can make out, the burner phone rings with another Archer threat, telling them that he’s going after Ali.
Spencer calls Ali to warn her, so Ali goes outside and invites the silly putty cop in to keep an eye on things. At no point in this exchange does Ali seem disturbed by the cop’s total silence or middle school science project of a face. They go to her bedroom, where “Honey, I’m home” is written on the wall. Melty cop attacks Ali, starts choking her and slams her face into the mirror. Police sirens start blaring, and Melty cop escapes into the night.
The Liars (sans Aria bc of course) rush to Ali’s side, where they find her beaten up but still alive. They all wonder if it really was Archer, back from the grave. Later that night, Emily and Ali listen to records and Emily holds her ever so tenderly. If there were EVER a time for a lesbian ghost waltz, this would be it.
Sara Harvey hastily packs a bag and gets ready to leave Radley. She opens her door and gasps when she sees someone. The next day, the hotel maid is cleaning up the room and finds her dead body in the shower. At this point, the show is just trolling us, right? Shower Harvey died IN THE FUCKING SHOWER! With the water still running! The only thing missing was Marlene King poking her head out of the TV and giving us all a wink.
Meanwhile, Spencer and Hanna drive out to Archer’s grave and dig up his body to prove her is really most sincerely dead. They find maggots eating his face, so yeah, dead. A.D. records the digging up the grave with a night vision camera, because of course they do. These girls are never gonna learn, are they?
What did you think of last night’s episode? Are you sad that another lesbian died on TV in 2016 or did you dislike Sara enough not to care? Tweet me your feels @ChelseaProcrast
Thanks, as always, to Nicole aka @PLLBigA for her screengrabs. All of the flute solos for you, girl.
