“The Fosters” recap (4.03): Mrs. Adams Foster, tear down this wall!

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Previously on The Fosters, Brandon was a tool. The family endured a mentally unstable Nick toting a gun around their house without anyone getting hurt thanks in large part to Mariana remaining awesome and cool under terrifying circumstances. Jude and Taylor had a weird, intense thing that made us think maybe Jude isn’t sure he’s gay. The moms found out about Callie and Brandon’s adventures in stupidity at Idyllwild. Jesus and Emma had some no-strings sex.

Callie is sitting on the couch across from the moms. They start telling her that sleeping with Brandon was too much. They can never trust her again. They call her selfish; they say it’s hopeless, and they want to undo her adoption. Stef and Lena are just wrong somehow. They don’t sound like themselves and just about the minute I started to get royally pissed that Brandon wasn’t also on the couch, the “social worker” walks in and Callie says “Mom?” Yeah, this is a dream sequence. Sadly, the whole boning Brandon thing wasn’t just a terrible dream.

Fosters 4031My dreams about Stef and Lena aren’t this much of a downer.

Dream kitchen time sans Brandon who is living with Cortney because he’s a grown-up now. Stef and Lena hold Callie back to tell her to ignore the comments from other kids. She needs to rise above it all. Oh sure, that will be no problem. After Callie leaves, Lena wants to know how soon they can get a security system in the house. Preferably, bars on the windows, alarms on every door. Stef says the quotes haven’t come back from the companies, but her face says “I didn’t think you were serious about making our home a fortress.”

Fosters 4032

Over at toddlers and teens, Brandon is making a huge mess with Cortney’s son. Cortney has to call out sick because Eddie can’t take the kid for the night. Brandon volunteers to watch him which she loves, and then leaves before cleaning up the mess he made (#ThatsSoBrandon). When he walks out the door, guess what’s not there? His car is gone. I laughed and clapped when I saw his face.

Anchor Beach has fences and metal detectors and a long line of cranky students waiting to get in. Some girls give Callie a look and whisper furiously. Mariana bounces up to her, looking all Cher Horowitz in her yellow sweater combo, and says she’s got Callie’s back. At the back of the line, the girl who was mean to Jude during the lockdown apologizes and then Taylor asks Jude to come to church with her after school. Come on, Judicorn; all the cool kids are doing scripture.

Brandon hops out of Cortney’s car and yells at his mom for taking away the car. Stef is like “bucko, you didn’t give me any notice that you were moving out, and you can walk on your grown-up feet for all I care.” It’s pretty great (if petty). Lena isn’t so sure. She wants to know what Stef is trying to accomplish by bickering. Sure, Lena, it’s a bit petty and juvenile but effective and so much fun.

Fosters 4033Oh look, I’m all out of fucks to give.

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