We then fly off to New York, Where Jordan finds Hanna lounging at his desk, Louboutins propped up, wearing a cleavage-baring red dress. Literally the only thing missing is a sexy ’80s saxophone solo. She sits on his lap and tells him she wants to start over by taking him for a drink at their old bar. Unfortunately, the bar has been torn down, and this causes Hanna to snap. She can no longer pretend to have a perfect life or a perfect future. Whatever’s going to happen to her, she doesn’t want Jordan along for the ride, so she gives him his ring back and breaks the engagement. I can’t even pretend to be sad, and neither can the show since it punctuates the break-up scene with an off-brand rap song.
Ezra has an editorial meeting with Liam, but Liam is less concerned with character development and more concerned with calling out Ezra for being a statutory rapist. Damn, Liam! Finally, after seven seasons, Ezra Fitz is getting called the fuck out. Liam calls Ezra a poor man’s Nabokov, while Ezra tries to call him Nicholas Sparks. Ooh, sick literature burns, bros!
While Liam and Ezra are slapping each other with Strunk’s Guide to Style, Spencer runs into Mary Drake. Mary decides to unload her tragic backstory on Spencer, and it’s a fucking doozy. Back when she and Jessica were 14, Jessica had a babysitting gig where the baby wouldn’t stop crying. Mary went over to help her, but Jessica told her that the baby went to sleep, and asks her to keep watch while she goes on a date. Mary finishes the babysitting gig, but when the parents come home, they realize that their baby is dead. Jessica killed the infant and left Mary to take the blame. Apparently, her parents didn’t believe Mary because Jessica was the “warm one.” With that, they sent Mary off to Radley to avoid prison.
Man, and I thought Jessica DiLaurentis was cold blooded when she buried her own daughter in the front yard.
Emily hangs out at Radley, where she seems to be filling out a job application for Wellby? She runs into Mary Drake, and who stopped by to see the new and improved Radley. Mary tells Emily that sometimes, all people need is a moment of tenderness to keep them from falling apart. Emily begs her to take her into Wellby, and questions her about Elliot.
