“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (7.04): Like Two Natural Women

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Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Zombies. Yes, zombies. Yes, really, zombies.

Jane saunters into a fencing club and sidles up to the back of a woman with mildly Maura-like hair. She whispers sweet nothings into her ear about which of the three musketeers they’ll be playing tonight in bed. But then the woman swivels around and it’s not Maura. Oh, Jane. Correcting identifying your woman’s butt in silhouette is just Girlfriend 101.

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The misidentified backside is a little huffy about her misidentification. Geez, lady, don’t you know having your derriere compared to Dr. Maura Isles is the highest form of compliment? The misidentified backside tells her Maura is into “a whole different sword.” Yes, indeed. The detachable kind.

Jane watches with great interest as Maura wields her saber. And by “great interest” I obviously mean “increased horniness.” To cover for it she makes a Star Wars joke about fencers being rich people storm troopers. I guess some of Jane’s pop culture knowledge has rubbed off on Maura after seven years because she seems to both get and appreciate the joke.

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Maura admits she is fencing not just because it is incredibly hot and will no doubt spawn 100s of swashbuckling fan-fics, but because it will help her build new neural pathways. Also, it’s good for the abs. Jane’s like, “Why fuss with a Michelangelo?” But then, you know, I guess it never hurts to polish the marble.

As Jane is ladyhandling Maura’s “sword,” her phone rings. Jane picks up her girlfriend’s phone because that’s what girlfriends do. The person on the phone seems equally unfazed that Jane answered. And then Jane says “we’ll be there in about 10 minutes.” These two are always a package deal. 

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But then Jane lets her jealousy shine through as she asks Maura if she has something less “full-body thong” to change into. Maura says it’s fine, but Jane doesn’t want to know where she plans to stick her phone. That way it’s more fun to find for herself later.

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