“Scream” recap (2.4): The Tequila Shot Heard ‘Round the World


Do you ever stop and imagine a horror franchise where all the characters consistently make good choices? Arm themselves heavily, never split up, remain stone-cold sober, and go to the authorities right away? Yeah, I guess that would be a really short and boring movie. Fortunately for us, we have the Lakewood Six and their increasingly poor decisions, like Audrey burying the blood-smeared corkscrew that killed Eddie the Hapless Motel Clerk in the woods, or Emma journaling her Kieran-themed murdersex dreams instead of locking herself in a concrete bunker.

The next morning, Audrey wakes up to a buzzing noise and something under her sheets. For once, it’s not a vibrator: it’s a phone call from the killer and the unearthed murder weapon.

scream 4.1I can’t even figure out where you put the batteries in this thing.

scream 4.2 Is it rechargeable or something?

Emma hears her parents arguing downstairs. Kevin wants to talk to her, because, like all douchebags who mix alcohol and anger issues, he believes there’s some magic combination of words that will erase the effects of his fucked-up behavior. Maggie, very reasonably, wants him to stay several football fields away from her and her daughter at all times. I don’t mean the length of several football fields; I mean she wants at least three actual NFL stadiums between Emma and Kevin.

Eli staying out all night is an obvious misdirect because Eli’s not interesting enough to be a murderer, but Kieran still thinks it’s sketchy. Eli isn’t invited to Kieran’s birthday party.

Mayor Brooke’s Dad delivers Brooke her morning coffee and stands around waiting for a tip, or at least a father-daughter heart-to-heart. She tells him she’s no longer speaking to Jelliott. Then, as soon as her dad leaves the room, she texts her ex. Whoever has Jevor’s phone tells her she’ll see him tomorrow.

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