Previously on Wynonna Earp, Dolls kidnapped Whiskey Jim so he could find the mole in his organization, Gus sold Shorty’s and gave Waverly some fleeing money, but surprise! The person who bought the bar was actually Bobo.
Waverly storms into Shorty’s, a tiny ball of fury, Wynonna and Peacemaker close behind.
Bobo struts in and says some icky things about Waverly, and stops her from taking a golden boot off the bar. She offers her official resignation and as payment for disturbing his peaceful drinking establishment, he magics Waverly’s necklace off her, which used to belong to Willa.
This prompts the tiny ball of fury to tell her sister she can’t wait for Wynonna to shot Bobo in his stupid face.
The girls go find Dolls and are proud of themselves; that little outburst, though rooted in true feelings, was part of a plot to bug Shorty’s, and it worked.
Across town, a girl stumbles out of the woods and asks a gas station attendant if she can use her home, mumbling to herself about how she’s free now, she’s safe. After the guy finishes saying really gross things to this girl who obviously needs help, he sees warpaint on her face, and he absolutely flips his lid. He somehow knows she’s doomed, and sure enough, a wolf comes along and eats her right up.
Waverly is listening in on Shorty’s, finding their ramblings about Dolls’ penis rather entertaining.
Since they’re not talking about anything important, Waverly steals away to “go to the bathroom” and Wynonna and Dolls exchange apologizes. Dolls is sorry for being MIA while they were planning this ambush, Wynonna for not mentioning that Bobo had superpowers.
Wynonna wonders what Bobo even gets out of owning Shorty’s, besides being supremely annoying, and as she’s saying it out loud it hits her: He’s surrounding himself with civilians. He’s hiding in plain sight.
Dolls and Wynonna listen in some more, and they mention that Whiskey Jim is missing, but Dolls shushes Wynonna when she tries to ask who that even is. Lucky for Dolls, the gas station guy busts into Shorty’s just then, telling Bobo “He’s” back. “He” is Lou and he tells Bobo about the girl who bore his mark. Bobo is FURIOUS to hear this news. But then the gas station man’s tin tooth goes haywire, revealing the wire to Bobo. Bobo talks into the microphone, spilling the beans about Wynonna and Doc Holliday playing reverse cowgirl, and when he breaks the mic, Wynonna tries to distract Dolls by talking about Lou instead of that last tidbit of info.
Dolls just gets up to leave, to do his “thing.”
Meanwhile, Waverly is pretending to be busy until Nicole gets up from her desk and pulls her into the Sheriff’s office for a few secret smooches.
But before they can actually lock lips (since they couldn’t even wait until the door was closed) Wynonna walks in, and they try (and adorably fail) to play it cool. Wynonna is here to let Waverly know that she slept with Doc, which is not news to Haught, but surprises Waverly.
Waverly makes a crack about the age difference but doesn’t seem too horrified. She asks if Wynonna loves Doc, and Wynonna says it’s just sex, but Waverly points out that she didn’t technically answer the question.
Bobo finds Whiskey Jim tied up in Dolls’ torture chamber, and when Jim swears he hasn’t said anything, Bobo tells him he’s about to spill his guts. I imagine because telling Dolls about Lou will only help Bobo in the long run.
Wynonna rolls up to Doc in the witch’s pink ride, and they talk about how pink has evolved from a masculine color to one considered more “girly,” and he’s a little confused by that. Wynonna warns him that everyone knows they had a roll in the hay, but before they can talk about it too much, Wynonna gets an alert on her phone; she’s tracking Dolls phone, and he’s making moves.
So Wynonna follows Dolls to a warehouse and sets off his car alarm with an expertly swift kick to the tire so that Dolls comes out and she can confront him.
She asks him what he’s up to, because she trusts him and she doesn’t want to regret that. She leans in close when she talks to him, softening him up to the point where he doesn’t realize she’s handcuffing him to the car handle. She strolls inside to see for herself what her partner is up to and finds Whiskey Jim tied to a chair suspended in the middle of the room. She asks him about Lou, and Whiskey Jim gives her the lowdown:
Lou tried to overthrow Bobo, which didn’t go well, so Lou took something dangerous, a weapon of sorts, that would keep anyone from trying to come find him. He tells her that as far as he knows, Lou is in the Pine Barrens, and she shoots him dead with Peacemaker.
Back at the station, Dolls confesses that he thinks they have a mole and Wynonna yells at Dolls for keeping that from her. She was worried; she thought he was sick. Like, terminal. Dolls isn’t sure they can trust Whiskey Jim’s confession, but he follows his deputy into the woods anyway, despite a fear of trees and forests.
Waverly finds Doc waving a sledgehammer around near the pink Cadillac. She tries to talk to him about his relationship with Wynonna without getting into too many icky details about her big sister’s sex life. Waverly’s main concern is that if things go south between the ancient marksman and the reluctant gunslinger, their team will fall apart.
And the team is important to Waverly. Being part of this kind of team is everything she’s always wanted. To feel important, to feel needed. To BE important and needed.
He assures her it’s just sex, that there’s nothing to implode, and she offers him another option besides smashing the car: learn to drive.
Dolls and Wynonna wander through the woods, starting to worry Jim’s tip might have been bogus when suddenly they get separated by shady, supernatural forces. Reality bends and Wynonna drops Peacemaker to go into a light.
Wynonna wakes up and assumes she’s dead, what with the whole bright light thing, but the creepy women who look like they’re part of Alison Hendrix and Sara Stubbs’ musical review assure her that she’s not dead, but reborn. Wynonna says her name is Courtney, and they tell her that soon she will meet Yiska. Yiska turns out to be a man who looks an awful lot like Detective Duko from Orphan Black. (Jk, it’s the same guy. #Canada)
She plays along, trying not to flinch when they melt her phone and when he puts his hand on her face, etc.
He says, “You’re safe amongst your sisters,” which just seemed creepy the first time, but upon second viewing was kind of hilarious. But we’ll get to that. Wynonna continues to go along with things as she takes a hot bath in her nightgown with everyone staring.
When Eve, who seems to be the most in charge as any cult follower can be, leads her to her bed, Wynonna asks about her gun. Eve says that guns are bad, but Wynonna promises she only shoots bad guys. When Eve asks what the difference is, Wynonna says that the good guys are scared but do the right thing anyway, even when doing nothing would be easier. She also says the good ones are hotter and smiles her charming Wynonna smile.
Dolls is led in with cattle prods and exchanges a silent look with Wynonna that asks him not to make like he knows her. Eve tells her that they’ll take the man to the hole behind the greenhouse and offers comfort to the newest member of the cult, saying on her first night, she cried until someone gave her a handkerchief and hot cocoa. Eve tells “Courtney” that she feels a real connection with her, a sisterly bond already, and Wynonna reciprocates by knocking her out with a (blessedly empty) chamber pot.
Wynonna apologizes to Eve’s unconscious body and runs to find Dolls. They figure Yiska must be Lou and start to run, but end up face to face with Yiska and his hoards of women in white, now in animal masks to up the creep factor. Lou mentions Bobo’s fur coat, which at least helps us understand why the heck he wears that ridiculous thing, but says it won’t protect him.
Yiska leads Wynonna and Dolls back inside and puts the black marks over their eyes. Wynonna tries to get the women to rally behind her, explaining that she’s the heir to Wyatt Earp, that she can help them if they help her first.
But the girls only give them desperate looks. Wynonna and Dolls are forced to drink something; then bags are thrown over their heads, and they’re dragged away. Wynonna is thrown into a van in a parking lot, with a list of names in her pocket that ends in the word HELP. She goes to Waverly for help, and all these girls were found dead but not just regular dead, SUPER dead. Every bone broken, skin licked off, gross stuff. Wynonna doesn’t love this news, especially since the black mark on her face won’t come off, but Waverly tries to comfort her sister.
Wynonna only feels mildly reassured, though, because she’s still missing her gun AND her partner. Just in case Dolls is still in the woods that he fears, she goes off to find him. And hopefully peacemaker.
On the way out, Wynonna gives Haught a hurried, “Hey,” but as soon as she’s out of earshot, Nicole asks Waverly where they left off. Something about candles and a black dress and curse her perceptive nature because she stops talking there when she sees that Waverly is distracted and that something is wrong.
Waverly starts to explain but then a report comes through of a pink car being driven like a maniac and Waverly knows exactly what that means.
Dolls is indeed stumbling around the woods that he hates, and needing a hit of his weird lizard medicine. He manages to get to the car before he freezes to death, but as soon as he shoots up, a rabid-looking wolf hops onto the hood of his car and starts to growl.
Dolls sees Peacemaker and Wynonna’s sexy ammo belt hanging from a tree branch-on the OTHER side of the wolf-and knows he couldn’t just drive away, even if the car WOULD start.
Officer Haught pulls Doc over and asks for his license and registration, neither of which he has, of course. Waverly stomps up with the cutest fucking scowl you’ve ever seen, and Doc pleads with Haught to just arrest him to save him from the wrath of Waverly Earp.
Wynonna finds Dolls in the woods, and he gives her Peacemaker. When she starts going deeper into the woods, he asks where she’s going, and she says she’s going to save the girls from the cult. Because of course she is.
Waverly is mad that Doc was going to leave without saying goodbye and that they need him to stay. Waverly says, “She needs you,” which I don’t think is true, but is a nice thing for her to say to Doc. Waverly says that she’s trying with Nicole, and Doc points out that the difference is that Nicole adores Waverly right back. And what I love about this is that he doesn’t even flinch. If anyone could reasonably be confused by this, it would be the man who didn’t get the update that pink wasn’t considered masculine anymore. But he doesn’t care at all. He sees a tiny human he cares about and a tall human who cares about her and as long as they’re happy he’s happy.
Anyway, Yiska plans to disband his cult and rebuild it, and Eve starts to speak out, finally realizing there’s something more out there than this nonsense, and so she’s the first to be marked.
Wynonna busts in and sees that all the women are marked now, but Wynonna isn’t about to let them die. What they need to do is kill Lou, because Yiskas are skinwalkers, and if they kill him, they’ll end his connection with the animals.
Doc shepherds the ladies upstairs while Eve leads Wynonna to Lou’s snowmobile.
Wynonna is about to shoot him with Peacemaker when Lou summons a bear, who paws the gun out of her hands.
Wynonna asks Eve to grab the gun, intending her to toss it over, but instead Eve points Peacemaker at Lou. The gun glows and shoots a bullet that sends Lou into the hellfires, just like when Wynonna shoots it.
The bear turns into a girl, and everyone is confused for different reasons, but Wynonna can wipe off the black ink now, so the ordeal is over.
Haught is reuniting the girls with their families while Dolls tells Wynonna what he learned about Lou and his skinwalker captive. He says that Eve doesn’t remember anything from before she was taken, which could be because of the trauma of being kidnapped, or could be lying. But Wynonna knows the truth. They thought she was dead; they stopped looking for her. Dolls thinks there are other explanations for why she could shoot Peacemaker, but Wynonna only has one.
Wynonna takes Eve home with her and is about to introduce her to Waverly when Gus comes out to ask why everyone is standing around outside. She takes one look at the girl next to Wynonna and drops her beer. Her eyes bug out, and she confirms what we all suspected: It’s Willa.
What did you think of “She Wouldn’t Be Gone”?
Here are some of our favorite #HaughtDamn tweets from this week:
“I got a big shiny gun” @MelanieScrofano‘s FACE THOUGH #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Nik (@njnic23) 4 June 2016
I really hope Officer Haught is at least a tiny bit butch when not on duty that be so great #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Lexa Deserved Better (@KatiesNerdHQ) 6 June 2016
.NO SHUT UP ITS EVEN BETTER IT FUCKING WILLA IT’S FUCKING WILLA I AM DEAD FOREVER #WynonnaEarp #haughtdamn
– Awesome (@groceryfiend) 4 June 2016
I’m still so anxious for Wynonna’s reaction to #WayHaught #HaughtDamn #WynonnaEarp Will she be shocked or non-plussed??
– Waffle (@wafflesonface) 4 June 2016
Oooo, shots fired! He insulted BoBo’s fur coat!!! #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– J.P. (@jmdklp) 4 June 2016
Way to twatblock Wynonna. #WayHaught #WynonnaEarp #Haughtdamn
– Jerzey (@jerzeyredhead) 4 June 2016
Wynonna with the clam jam. Dammit. #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn @MelanieScrofano
– Kimber Earp (@KimberGracie) 4 June 2016
That almost kiss between Haught and Waverly was hotter than most heterosexual kisses on TV I’ve seen #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Jessica Buonocore (@jayelkru) 4 June 2016
Waverly should be responsible for the doors, Nicole just leaves them wide open #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Catherine (@CMeushaw) 4 June 2016
Plot TWIST as twisty as Waverly’s Lara Croft braid! Kudos to @WynonnaEarp. Masterfully done. I got like a million questions now #HaughtDamn
– Haught’s Beltbuckle (@paint_the_brain) 4 June 2016
Waverly, what are you doing home? Shouldn’t you be checking out Nicole in a sexy black dress? #WynonnaEarp #WayHaught #HaughtDamn
– Lady Liberty (@CindyLMarshall) 4 June 2016
Oh my god… Is Eve, Willa? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKITY FUCK BUCKETS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!?? #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Rachel (@RWatkinsphoto) 4 June 2016
