TV

“Once Upon a Time” recap (5.22 & 5.23): Double double, toil and trouble

Hello and welcome to the last Once Upon A Time recap of the season! It’s been a long year, friends. This show has literally and figuratively taken us to hell and back. But there were bright spots along the way, like the return of Mulan and Ruby, finding new badass females in Merida and Dorothy, Emma and Regina finally trusting each other and acting like a family, and of course, the show’s first LGBT kiss to name a few. For this last recap, since it was VERY blessedly SwanQueen heavy, I’m going to go back to the original recap format.

So here we go!

Previously on Once Upon A Time, Henry fell in puppy love with a girl from Camelot named Violet, Rumple put Belle in Pandora’s Box, Hook died and came back to life, Hades killed Robin Hood and Zelena killed Hades.

The residents of Storybrooke hold a post-funeral reception at Granny’s, and Regina is zoned-out and sad.

Everyone is paying their condolences, but Regina looks a little detached. Outside, Emma’s as happy as can be with Hook back from the dead, but she knows Regina won’t be too pleased that the window that had been open for SwanQueen when the beards were both gone is now closed again, so she wants to break it to her easy.

Emma goes inside and asks Regina for a quiet moment alone and before Regina can get her hopes up that she means in a bedroom somewhere, a rumble shakes the diner.

Hook busts in to make sure everyone is okay (insert epic eye roll here) and Emma apologizes to Regina. But Regina is used to suffering so she’ll stay in the closet a while longer.

Anyway it’s no time for feelings, Gold just tethered all the magic in Storybrooke to the Olympian Crystal. They quickly figure out that this must have to do with Belle and that they have to stop him. Emma turns the tables this week, and now it’s HER telling REGINA that maybe she should sit this one out, because grief.

Regina is like, “Bitch, please.” When Hook died, they got on the Grim Reaper’s boat and followed her to hell. She can see the fear in Emma’s eyes and knows she’s afraid Regina will hulk out, and Regina is highly offended.

Henry tries to keep his moms from fighting, but it doesn’t work, and Regina poofs himself away, determined to fix this on her own.

Instead of going home as he’s told, Henry goes to Gold’s shop, where he tells Violet that he has decided to save his parents’ relationship and destroy magic. Even though when Emma and Regina do magic together is when they’re strongest. But no one ever accused Henry of being bright.

Regina got a text from Henry so she goes to the Loft to talk to Emma about it.

Gold shows up, too; Henry took the Olympian Crystal and bounced. What Henry doesn’t realize is that if he destroys magic, the magical beings in the magical town of Storybrooke are doomed. Regina storms off to find her son, but Emma follows close behind. They’re going to have to do this together, so they set out on yet another SwanQueen road trip.

Regina and Emma track Henry’s phone to Boston, but it was a trick. Regina accidentally sets the trash can on fire in her anger and they realize that they can do magic now because Henry let magic loose in the “Land Without Magic.”

In the yellow buggy, Regina demands Emma’s hand, and Emma is suspicious because it sounds too good to be true.

But Regina just wants to use Emma’s blood to track Henry. They find out he’s in New York, and off they go.

In Storybrooke, Zelena opens a portal to send everyone back to their worlds in case magic does get destroyed, but it ends up sucking Team Charming in, too, but not back to the Enchanted Forest; they’re in an unfamiliar land.

They see a meek-looking fella gardening and ask him for help, but he’s skittish and squirrely and says he can’t help them. Before he can properly explain why, a man appears and zaps them all unconscious. They wake up in a cage, and a man with a scar on his face and a bloodshot eye struts in, accusing them of working for the Dark One.

In New York, Emma and Regina follow Henry’s trail to Neal’s apartment, and they end up in a bit of a lovers’ quarrel. But then Regina finds a book she gave Robin Hood about this world’s tales of the merry men, and in it, she finds a letter. Emma encourages her to read it, and she does, Robin writes he’s proud of her. When Emma sees how broken up Regina is, she apologizes for being so caught up in her own stuff she wasn’t there for Regina. Regina explains that she understands why Emma thought the Evil Queen would come out, because she’s always there, under the surface, fighting to come through. Emma thinks she understands, but Regina says Emma never gave into the darkness, that it’s easier to turn back before going evil than it is to stay good when the evil you gave into is still inside you. Emma is empathetic and gentle as Regina spills her feelings, confesses how hard it is to try to do good even though no good deed goes unpunished, to try to love when it always ends in pain, her horrible past hanging over her like a storm cloud.

Regina wanted to be a hero, and Emma insists that she is one. But Regina isn’t sure there’s redemption for her, a woman caught between good and evil. If she gives in to the evil, she’ll lose everyone she loves, including Emma. But if she doesn’t, she has to live with the pain of her past. Emma believes in Regina, and says as much, but Regina gets up and walks across the room to Emma, arms out, and puts them on her shoulders.

Regina says that she would rather take on the suffering herself than make other people suffer.

And maybe in another universe, that is when they finally kissed. But in this universe, Emma’s search history restoration software pings and they find out that Henry is in the library.

In said library, Henry and Violet go into the Rare Reading Room and Henry finds more versions of his Storybook, with stories and characters that aren’t in his, like Don Quixote and Paul Bunyon. Plus the big house where, unbeknownst to him, his grandparents, aunt, and pirate buddy are being held prisoner.

Speaking of those prisoners, the Squirrelly dude comes in and warns them about the Warden and Poole and that he used to be a doctor and even though he has to be careful, he wants to help them. He has the tools to fix Zelena’s broken wand, but he can’t let them out, so they’ll just have to trust him and give him the wand pieces to fix on his own.

After their search turns up nothing useful, Henry is bummed, until Violet spots a cup that looks an awful lot like the Holy Grail except it’s black.

They reason that this must mean it can end magic, but as soon as Henry tucks it into his backpack, Gold shows up, knocks the kids out, and steals the Olympian Crystal.

In the mysterious new land, the Doctor goes to the lab and fixes the wand, looking like a stereotypical mad scientist, when Poole comes in and says he’s going to ask the Warden if he’s supposed to be doing this. So he pours a blue liquid down his throat, and the Doctor turns into the Warden.

The Warden inspects the scene and decides that he’s okay with this plan because he, too, wants to go to Storybrooke, so he’s going to let the Doctor do his thing for now.

Regina and Emma find Henry and Violet, and Henry explains why he hates magic and how he hates it when his mommies fight. He lies and says they didn’t find anything, and Emma “the human lie detector” suspects nothing, even though Violet makes the most guilty face.

Regina tries to use her blood magic again, but the magic is gone, so Gold must have reeled Storybrooke’s magic in.

Gold tucks his Belle-in-a-Box into bed at the hotel and whispers the wrong princess’s pickup line (“I can show you the world”) and just as he promises to make everything right again, The Warden uses Zelena’s wand to pluck Pandora’s Box from Rumple’s hands.

Not needing that silly magic stuff anyway, Regina and Emma follow a purple storm cloud to Rumple’s hotel.

They’re going to take it slow until they get a text from Granny saying their family got sucked into another portal. So Regina’s new plan is to punch Rumple in the face.

But Emma convinces her to wait until they have a plan, which involves Regina going in and pretending she wants to help Rumple because she’s ready to go all Evil Queen again.

Across the realm, the Doctor releases Team Charming and takes them into town. It’s a mishmash of people and they can’t figure out what they have in common until the Doctor tells them it’s a safe haven, nicknamed the Land of Untold Stories. The Doctor takes them to a lair and makes a potion that he says will solve his problems. But before he can take it, Poole shows up and pours the blue liquid down his throat, and the Charmings realize they’re smack in the middle of Jekyll & Hyde.

Back in New York, Emma sneaks into Gold’s room to snoop around, but he is the Dark One and obviously busts her. He calls Emma out and she comes to stand strong with Regina, knowing he’s not going to be pleased.

Gold only needed Regina’s hair so he could find Zelena, so he’s about to kill SwanQueen when Henry busts in and sucks the magic out of the show–er, room with the Unholy Grail.

In the Land of Untold Stories, the Warden takes the Doctor’s new potion and shoots it into his arm, causing Jekyll and Hyde to split into two different physical humans. Team Charming knocks Hyde out and runs away, taking Jekyll with them.

Meanwhile, Regina and Emma split up, Regina with Gold and Emma with Henry. Henry thought he was doing the right thing; he didn’t know half their family was stuck in another realm. So Emma comforts him through his teenage angst while Regina goes with Gold to see someone who might still have magic in this magicless world.

And that man is the Dragon, who doesn’t want to help the Dark One, but sees a duality in Regina worth helping. Her inner good can fight her evil, and he tells Regina it’s important that she wins that battle.

Emma and Henry join them and watch him perform a lotus flower ritual and check on their family. The Dragon says there’s always magic in the world, you just have to know where to look for it, so Henry runs back to his wishing fountain and has them all throw a penny into the water. The Crystal starts to glow, and Regina shares her flash of hope with her wife.

Henry then takes it a step further and jumps up on one of the library’s stone lions, asking the people of New York City to believe in magic, to make a wish with him to help save his family, that it sounds crazy but it’s true! His moms are proud.

Henry hands out pennies galore and a bunch of strangers make wishes with him, powering up the crystal even more.

Charming asks Jekyll why Hyde looks so different than he does, because that’s not technically how that story goes, but he says that everyone sees the evil in themselves differently, he sees himself as a brute of a man with a scar and a bad attitude.

Coins start falling from the sky and Charming is confused as he gets pelted by tiny copper Lincolns, but Snow White knows what these are: Wishes. A portal opens and they leap through, meeting their family on the other side. The New Yorkers clap, and Henry is a little bummed that they thought it was just another street performance, but Emma reassures him that for a moment, he had them believing. Enough to save the day.

But the only problem is, in all the hullaballoo, Gold slipped into the portal. He finds Hyde, who is pissed, and they make a deal.

Regina is brooding on the rooftop when Snow brings her hot cocoa with booze. She tells Regina that she doesn’t have to do this alone, that they all know she’s strong and good and redeemable, even if sometimes the writers forget that. Regina is already weary of thinking of a lifetime of carrying around the Evil Queen’s baggage, but Snow White has an idea.

Jekyll gave them what was left of the potion he used to split himself from Hyde, so Regina can use it to rid herself of the Evil Queen once and for all. Emma wants to be a real family, without anything holding Regina back. Emma and Snow aren’t leaving Regina alone, and they stand by to help Regina destroy the queen if she gets into trouble. So they inject Regina, and after some awkward agony, the Evil Queen leaps from Regina’s breast.

The Evil Queen immediately tries to fireball her own self to death, but Emma shackles her before she can hurt her wife. After some taunts, Regina gets the courage to rip the Evil Queen’s heart out and crush it to dust.

The family goes back to Storybrooke, and Henry apologizes to Violet for making her and her dad miss the trip back to Camelot, but it turns out Violet’s father is originally from Connecticut, so they’re going to stay there. The tweenagers share a kiss while their moms watch on.

Regina tells Henry that she feels free without the Evil Queen working deep inside. She uses her own magic to release Storybrooke’s magic from the crystal, and just when it seems everything is right in the world, Hyde strolls in. He says he brought some friends from the Land of Untold Stories – enough to occupy us for at least half a season, I’m sure – and that Rumple gifted him Storybrooke in exchange for Pandora’s Box. Regina says that Hyde can’t win, but Hyde tells her that evil is harder to snuff out than it seems.

Speaking of which, the dust of the Evil Queen floats on over to the Dragon’s shop and reforms herself.

She says that Regina might have won the fight, but the war has just begun. Long live the queen.

What did you think of this finale? I for one am glad they found a way to bring the Evil Queen back without undoing all the character growth Regina has had over the past few seasons. Also I read that they might try to bring Ruby and Dorothy back next season. So I don’t know. Honestly, I have no idea if I’m going to be recapping this show next season. It’s hard for me to let it go entirely, because it was the first show I ever recapped, way back in Season 2. But the fact of the matter is, there are too many shows out there with actual queer content to be writing about shows that only have wasted potential. I think maybe we’ll put this one to bed until Ruby, Dorothy, and/or Mulan DO come back. Maybe quarterly reviews to check in on SwanQueen. I don’t know. We have some time to decide, though, since the show is done until September.

In the meantime, feel free to chat with me about this show or any other shows (I watch most of them…) on Twitter (@PunkyStarshine). Have a magical summer!

Here’s one last batch of #queerytales tweets for ya. Thanks for being so great and making me laugh through the pain!

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button