Hello, my darlings, and welcome back to Season 4 (FOUR! Can you believe we’ve been doing it this long?) of Wentworth. Before we begin, I would like to issue a few words to the wise: you don’t have to do this. You can stop right now and let the Season 3 finale be the end of your sentence like we all wish we’d done with Season 5 of The L Word.
Last year’s finale was as good a stopping point as we are ever likely to get: The Freak was captured, Doreen and her baby were safe, Liz and her daughter had made a partial peace, Bea’s hair was on point, and above all, Frankie Doyle was happy, free, and in the arms of a woman we had all come to love. If you choose to stay, you need to accept in your heart that it will never get any better than that, and you are consciously making the choice to jump back into the crevasse. It was a choice I struggled with until I watched this episode, and I realized just how happy I am to be back behind bars. Still here? Of course you are, you masochist.
We begin with a visual callback to the opening scene of season one, with Bea Smith sitting on a bus to prison, looking out a world that is rapidly passing her by.
MISSIN’ ALL THE LATEST GRAVEYARD TRENDZ.
Before we can sink too far into her despair, though, Boomer rescues us with a little comic relief (sprinkled liberally throughout this episode to very good effect.)
LOOK, I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVE “BOY PROBLEMS,” BUT YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP CANNOT SING HARMONY.
Apparently, after the cleansing fire of last season, many of the women (and most of our main characters) got shipped off to the local men’s prison for a little vacation, while Wentworth was remodeled and a new governor found. And just who is stepping into Joan Ferguson’s rather sizeable Doc Martens?
I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO LISTEN TO THE HAMILTON SOUNDTRACK YET, BUT I FEEL SURE THERE IS AN APPROPRIATE QUOTE FOR THIS MOMENT.
When I saw Vera “Always A Deputy, Never A Governor” Bennett sitting in the Big Girl’s Chair, I positively squealed with delight. (It’s a mark of how ill-used her character has been that even though she’s been second-in-command for years, it never seriously occurred to me that she would be promoted this year.)