TV

“Call The Midwife” recap (5.4): I Think We’re Alone Now

Over the past few weeks, Call the Midwife fans have reached out to me on Twitter to let me know that the PBS airings of the series have cut several Patsy and Delia scenes that were part of the original BBC broadcast. Luckily, I was able to get access to the original, uncut episodes, and will be recapping those as opposed to the PBS ones (many thanks to @LittleMsShipper for the tip!). I reached out to the PR department at PBS to figure out why we were losing all of our Pupcake scenes. Here’s what they had to say:

“Many of the British dramas that PBS airs were broadcast in the U.K. with commercials and in a timeframe that differs from our 60-minute, no-commercial-interruption format. This means that episodes sometimes need to be shortened slightly. The edits you noted were made by the series’ producers with the goal of detracting as little as possible from plotlines and character arcs in the overall series.”

Oi Pats, let’s read the latest BeforeEllen column together!

So is the BBC cutting queer scenes from the show, or is this a case of PBS passing the blame across the pond? And is this in fact just de rigueur editing or an intentional slight to the queer storylines of the show? I understand that the episodes must be edited for time, and cutting the storylines of other characters can be tricky since they are all enmeshed with each other (i.e. the Barbara/Tom/Trixie love triangle) whereas Patsy and Delia are easily separated storylines. But come on, guys. Give us our measly one lesbo scene per episode! And to all you intrepid editors out there, I would love to see a Youtube video of all the deleted Pupcake scenes for the American fans. If you make it, I will feature it in a recap.

Who’s Ellen?

Speaking of, let’s get into this doozy of an episode, which once again deals with the changing times of the 1960’s. Sister Cynthia is cleaning an oil painting with a piece of bread, which really made me hungry for bread and olive oil. She’s gearing up for the yearly celebration of Sister Hildegard, one of the founding members of Nonnatus House. It’s her first year celebrating as a nun, and she’s excited to get her worship on.

Rubbing bread on an oil painting: the hot new carb-free diet that’s sweeping Poplar!

Trixie visits Sadie, a middle-aged factory worker who burned her arm on the job. Sadie’s son, Ian, is a bookish poetry lover who has just been accepted to Durham University. We see that Sadie’s prized possession is a photo taken of the queen on a factory visit. We also see Ian wearing his father’s watch, a token of 30 years of factory service before he died. As the first one in his family to be accepted to college, Ian is looking at a future of prosperity and opportunities that are rarely afforded to someone from Poplar.

Over at the clinic, Shelagh is educating mothers on the rising new trend of hospital deliveries. Some women are interested in hospital births, but others continue to put their faith in the women of Nonnatus and home births. Can you imagine a time when giving birth at home, in your own bed, was the norm? Julienne examines Ruby, our mum of the week, who is eager to add a daughter to her collection of sons. As the boys run around the clinic screaming, it’s easy to see why.

If you don’t cut it out this instant, I’m chucking an ashtray right at your heads!

Tom congratulates Ian on his college acceptance, and Ian thanks him for helping him prepare. Ian takes his girlfriend Linda out and promises that they’ll have a life far away from the paint factory. Linda is thrilled for him, but there’s just one problem: she’s knocked up. Ian tries to run away, but she forces him to accept the situation. They love each other, but having a baby fucks up both their futures.

It’s okay, poetry is a growth industry, we’ll be fine!

Julienne gets called on to work at St. Cuthbert’s hospital for a week, as they are understaffed. The other nurses offer to go in her place, but Julienne wants to see what hospital labor is like. She puts Cynthia in charge of preparing for the Sister Hildegard ceremony, and Sister Monica Joan objects to a young nun given so much responsibility. Cynthia asks MJ to partner with her, and she agrees to help.

Patsy and Delia sit on the front steps of Nonnatus House, trying to get some sun. Fellini’s La Dolce Vita is playing at the cinema, and Delia is dying to see it. Patsy grudgingly agrees to go (not a fan of foreign films) and Delia chides her by saying that Patsy wants to see Anita Ekberg dance in the fountain just as much as she does. They make a date for next week. In case you’re wondering who they are talking about, here’s a still from that classic scene:

Photo via John Kobal Foundation/Getty Images

Trixie joins the tanning twosome and Delia cracks jokes about Patsy’s gingery inability to tan. Patsy assures the girls that she was just as white when she was a blonde. Blonde Patsy? I could be into that. I love the easiness of Patsy and Delia’s chemistry. Despite the secrecy of their relationship, they have such a delightful camaraderie together that shows just how deeply they care for one another.

That moment when you realize you’ve twat-swatted yourself

When Patsy invites Trixie to the movies with them, we can see Delia’s annoyance. She was hoping for a real date with her girl. When Barbara crashes the party, Delia invites her too, and jokes that they have enough people to get a share-a-van (although when she says it, it sounds like share-a-bang? Either way, I’m in). Barbara claims that she’s busy with her cousin Mabel, but we all know that’s just code for dating Tom. Trixie especially knows, and storms into the house to make herself a “salad cream face mask” which sounds delicious.

I’m going to dip some bread in a nice oil painting and smear mayonnaise on my face bc beauty!

Julienne arrives at St. Cuthbert’s and meets Nurse Knowles, who leaves her to care for a South Asian patient named Jamila. Julienne is surprised by the regimented nature of the hospital staff, who stick to scheduled breaks despite an obviously distressed mum. They also frown on Julienne’s use of hot water bottles and tea to aid in labor. Eventually, Julienne and Knowles help to deliver a healthy baby boy, and Julienne watches as they weigh and clean the infant.

Ian and Linda break the news to Sadie, who is furious. They fight about what to do, and Sadie demands that he man up and marry Linda. They are having this fight in front of Trixie, which is another example of my favorite CTM trope: nurses awkwardly trying to remove themselves from family arguments. I desperately need a GIF of the Nonnatus women awkwardly backing out of a room. Anyone, really.

Righty ho then, I’ll just lean back far enough and fade into the wallpaper

Linda breaks the news to her father, who responds by slamming Ian into the wall. Tom is there to help mediate this family crisis, but it’s a shit situation all around. Ian promises that in three years, he’ll have a degree and a job making way more money than he ever could at the factory. He even suggests that he could work for the BBC on a program about poetry, which LOL dare to dream, kid. Sadie tells him that he doesn’t have three years-he has seven months before life hits the fan.

Someone get Delia an apple box to stand on!

DELETED SCENE TIME: Patsy comes home from a long shift to find Delia, with her hair down, waiting up for her with a glass of warm milk. Delia tells her that she’s been waiting to get her alone, and presses her against the counter. Patsy is touched, since no one ever waits up for her, and calls her “Dels” which is adorable. Delia tells her that she’s making Bournvita and whiskey, and all she wants to do is take Patsy’s hair down and run her hands through it…but her beehive is so lacquered up that she couldn’t make a dent. It’s a great scene: funny, sexy, romantic. It’s also very brief. So why did this get cut again?

What do you say we dip into the chapel and I make you see God?

Amen!

Over in Heteroville, Barbara feels bad about sneaking around with Tom. She doesn’t want to lie any more or hurt Trixie. Barbara really is too sweet for her own good. She breaks things off with Tom, and Phyllis comforts her as they drive away. Trixie watches the conversation from a distance and tears up-she’s not over Tom either.

They check in on Ruby, and a quick examination tells them that she needs go to the hospital. They call an ambulance for her and send her to St. Cuthbert’s, where Julienne cares for her. The doctor schedules an emergency c-section, and Julienne promises to look after the baby once it is born.

Can you hear me now?

Ian sells his father’s watch to buy a ring and proposes to Linda. Everyone is excited that he’s stepping up, and there’s a party down at the pub. Trixie and Tom run into each other, and Trixie is holding a glass of champagne that was shoved into her hand. Tom quickly swaps it out for an orange juice, because he knows about her sobriety/needs a drink himself.

Julienne watches the c-section and is shocked by the gore and the probing instruments. The doctor pulls out the baby, and it’s tragically deformed (another thalidomide baby, but of course they don’t know that yet). The limbless, genderless fetus is taken away as the doctor stitches up Ruby.

Back at the pub, Linda’s dad gifts Ian with a workman’s jumpsuit: he’s got him a job at the paint factory, so he’s all set for a life just like his parents. Tom later finds Ian alone in the men’s room, devastated over his future. Tom tries to cheer him up, comparing it to the time he had to stop working at a record shop he liked, because that totally the same thing. Ian says that he loves Linda just enough, and Tom tells him that sometimes “just enough” has to be enough to make the right call. Whelp, that’s a bummer of a pep talk.

And worst of all, they fired me on Rex Manning Day!

Julienne goes to the nursery to visit Ruby’s baby, only to find she’s not there and there’s no record of her. She sees a door marked “Sluice” (which means rinsing room but sounds horrific) and is shocked to find the fetus cold, alone, and crying by an open window. Julienne rushes to the baby and wraps it in a blanket, praying for it. When Knowles finds her, she assures her that the baby is too internally damaged to survive, and sure enough, the baby dies moments later in Julienne’s arms.

So is this what happened with nearly dead babies back in the day? They just left them by an open window? What the serious fuck? Window sills are for cooling pies in old-timey cartoons, get it together hospital! Julienne laments that she wasn’t able to baptize the baby before it died, but I think God will be okay with it this once, J. Julienne asks to break the news to Ruby, and the nurse tells her to wait until the morning.

What kind of fucking hospital is this? It’s a baby, not a peach cobbler!

Julienne goes home to the chapel, where she finds MJ and Cynthia planning for the ceremony. They comfort Julienne and join her in prayer, assuring her that she did what she could to care for the infant in its final moments.

Ian is off to his first day of work, and Sadie packs him a sandwich. When he shows up, he sees the army of folks clocking into work and looks completely wrecked.

Julienne tells Shelagh and Dr. Turner about the baby, and that there is a pattern in these deformed births. They set about to pinpoint the cause and get heavy into research mode. Also, Tim stops by and makes some dad jokes. Go back to school, Tim.

What’s the deal with paper routes, am I right ladies?

Over at the clinic, Trixie examines Linda who feels terrible back pain. She has miscarried the baby, and Trixie waits for her outside the toilet while she passes the remains. Poor Linda.

Julienne breaks the news to Ruby about her baby, and lies and says that it was a girl to make her feel better. She keeps the grisly truth of the damage from her and assures her that the baby was warm, held, and loved in her final moments. Ruby wonders if she caused the death by wishing too hard for a girl, and she and Julienne cry together.

Tom finds out that Ian never showed up for work, and he visits their flat, only to smell a gas leak. He breaks down the door just as Linda, Trixie and Sadie arrive, where they find Ian with his head in the oven. Luckily, they got there soon enough, and Ian recovers before puking all over Trixie’s shoes.

Cheer up son; we’re months away from the birth control pill!

Trixie and Tom finally discuss their break-up (which was now a year ago) and realize that they need to move on. They agree to let each other go, and Trixie gives Tom and Barbara her blessing. The next day, she checks in on Linda and Ian and watches as Linda breaks their engagement and returns the ring to Ian. She tells him to follow his dream to university, and that they can get married once he graduates. Sadie takes the ring and puts it on the mantle, where it will stay until they need it again.

Shelagh and Dr. Turner stay up all night looking for a pattern in the births, and Shelagh tells him that she loves his dedication to bettering the world. He’s scared that he won’t figure out what is happening, and thinks that it may be tied to nuclear testing in the South Pacific.

I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure Godzilla is involved somehow

Trixie goes home to have a heart to heart with Barbara, who is making “Bible study fuzzy felts” which is my new band name. They both cry and hug and Trixie gives her blessing to date Tom.

The women of Nonnatus House gather for the prayer celebration of Sister Hildegard. Cynthia reads a quote from the great Hildegard of Bingen (who was a fascinating woman) that the love of God feels like a hug.

Uteruses before Duderuses

The episode ends with Ian trying on new school robes, Barbara and Tom reuniting, and the remains of Ruby’s poor baby locked in a tin box.

After the episode, PBS aired a brief behind the scenes clip of women’s sexual identity in the ’60s, and the actresses who play Delia and Barbara discuss the nature of their relationship. Even though male homosexuality was illegal, lesbianism was something that most folks couldn’t even imagine. Despite their close friendship, it would never occur to the folks of Poplar that Patsy and Delia are lovers, which helps to protect them somewhat.

What did you think of last night’s episode? Tweet me your feels @ChelseaProcrast.

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