Holy queerytales, batman. Okay, I’m going to go back into regular recap mode for this episode and put all my Big Thoughts at the end.
Previously on Once Upon a Time, Ruby topped Mulan and invited her on a processing journey for the ages until one day Ruby got dropped in the Underworld by a tornado.
Actually, wait: I’m going to do the unimportant storylines quickly then get into Ruby’s storyline because I don’t want anything to detract from it.
David and Hook learned that Hades tore out the haunted phonebook so they finally found a way to be useful and used the pirate’s magical hook to cross out Snow White’s name and put David’s on the tombstone instead so that Snow could go back to Storybrooke and be with baby Neal. Belle took advice from Zelena and put herself under a sleeping curse to pause her pregnancy and give Gold a chance to find a way out of their contract with Hades. Okay, I think that’s everything. Time to go over the rainbow.
At some indeterminate time in the future (and not like I’m unable to determine it, more like time does not move in a straight line on this show), Mulan and Ruby are running through a forest in Oz, trying to find Ruby’s pack but not having any luck. Ruby is feeling discouraged, but Mulan tries to keep her head up.
“We’ll find that lesbian commune yet!”
Mulan asks what Ruby knows about Oz, but all she knows is what she saw in the movie, and there’s no yellow brick road in sight. They hear a growl and spring into a circling back-to-back move that they have clearly done before.
But Li’l Red recognizes the tiny creatures that approaches them and is about to pet Toto when Dorothy appears, crossbow in hand, asking which of them is a witch.
“Are you a good witch or a bad witch? And do you have a sandwich?”
After some encouragement from Mulan, Ruby comes out as a wolf to Dorothy and explains that she’s harmless. She leans down to pet Toto and prove her point, but Toto runs off. Dorothy says she doesn’t want their help finding him, but when Ruby proves her tracking skills are above average, Dorothy relents and joins the two women on their adventure.
Back in Storybrooke, Ruby wakes up in the Loft and is surprised she’s in the underworld, because she had just been trying to track down Zelena, but her friends explain that this is where the wicked witch has landed.
“This lighting really clashes with my whole red theme.”
Ruby starts desperately explaining that her friend Dorothy went after Zelena but never returned. Ruby blames herself, saying the monster inside her ruins everything, but Snow talks her down. Regina says they’ll just go talk to Zelena and sort this out.
“Okay but make it fast before my eyebrows escape my face.”