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“Call the Midwife” recap (5.2): Hooks and Tapas

Whelp, Call the Midwife is back at it with another heartbreaking episode that leaves us in a puddle. Luckily, this one doesn’t involve any lesbian tragedy, which is a welcome relief! We open on the busy docks of London, where all sorts of imports and goods are being hauled and unpacked, one of which is a new-fangled product called baby formula.

We zip over to the clinic, where we meet Mum of the Week Stella, a stressed out woman with high blood pressure. Unfortunately, all Barb has to offer her are God and breathing exercises, neither of which calms her anxiety.

Am I pregnant or did I just have another bad Chipotle burrito?

Across the hall, a representative is giving a lecture to the other mums about the benefits of baby formula, which allows mums who can’t breastfeed (or who need to get back to work) another option to feed their baby. Sister Evangelina listens in, and can’t help but call the rep a charlatan. She thinks breast is best, and won’t hear of any formula nonsense. I’m so glad that 60 years later, we’re done with shaming mums about breastfeeding vs. formula JK WE STILL DO THIS LET MUMS DO WHAT THEY WANT, SOCIETY! We then meet another mum, Connie, who is a patient of Evangelina’s. She has inverted nipples and has to wear these awful looking plastic cups on her boobs to help her nurse. I’m sure this will turn out great.

Sister Evangelina is in no mood for your bullshit

Stella has dinner with her husband Johnny and tries to convince him to buy a pram on layaway. Johnny hasn’t been getting any work on the docks, so money is tight. She urges him to try harder and continues to stress herself out in the process. Later on, Barb calls on the family to find the couple in the midst of a terrible fight. Johnny takes his dock hook and storms out while Stella watches a group of homeless men on the street outside. Barb urges her to apply for national assistance aka British welfare, but she’s too proud. She says that Johnny has changed, and she doesn’t know why.

Over at Nonnatus house, Phyllis has made a new pin board to organize the nursing schedules. She invites the nurses to her Spanish class, in an effort to better serve the immigrant families of Poplar. Phyllis goes alone, where she meets a kind older gent named Tommy Smith. You may recognize Tommy as Mr. Mason from Downton Abbey, and I will be calling him Mason from now on because we really don’t need another Tom on the show, right? Get a new name, Call the Midwife! They flirt, and it’s adorable.

Bruce? Arnold? Ralph?! I suggested all of these, but these showrunners can’t get enough Toms

Patsy, Trixie, and Barb skip out on Spanish class to drink Campari and smoke in their room. Well, Patsy is drinking alone with her two sober buds. Barb talks about growing up with her distant vicar father, who used to introduce her to people as his parish assistant. #Dadfail.

Sister Evangelina and Cynthia help Connie give birth to a healthy son, and the family is delighted. It’s especially poignant for Evangelina, as she delivered Connie when she was born. Connie sets about breastfeeding, and it’s extremely difficult. Evangelina encourages her to keep at it.

If I don’t breastfeed my child, I’ll get blackballed from Mummy Yoga!

Over at Stella’s house, things seem to have turned around. Johnny is making money, and they bought the pram on layaway. Things are not so great at Connie’s house, where she can’t feed her son and asks Evangelina if she can switch to formula. Evangelina pressures her to keep at breastfeeding, promising it will get easier, and it’s the best choice for the baby. Hoo boy. Later at Nonnatus, Cynthia suggests they put Connie on the formula list, but Evangelina blows her off.

Barb makes a delivery to the local pub and finds Johnny drinking in the middle of the day. He begs her not to tell Stella. Phyllis attends Spanish class to find it cancelled, so she goes for a cup of tea with Mr. Mason. They talk about travel and picnics and poetry. It’s all very adorable. Phyllis is in such a good mood that even Sister MJ notices and thanks Jesus for Spanish class.

Pats, is this what the kids are calling “getting that good D”?

Barb finds Rev. Tom feeding soup to the homeless, something he does every night. She asks him for advice on how to help Johnny and Stella, and he tells her to stand by. He also calls her a warrior. These two are definitely gonna hook up.

The next day, Stella swings by the docks to bring Johnny his lunch only to find out that he’s been fired. The docks manager tells her Johnny’s been lying, and that he was fired for being lazy and sleeping on the job. BTW, did you know that the British word for lazy is “workshy?” Stella freaks out and collapses.

If I had known you were broke, I wouldn’t have bought gold rims for the pram!

Johnny meets Stella at home, where they have a massive fight in front of Barb. He says he feels run down, but Stella is in no mood. Turns out he pawned his dock hook to get them money, a hook which was passed down from his grandfather. Stella kicks him out of the house, telling him she can’t deal with the stress of having him around. Barb goes to the dock manager to beg for work, but the manager callously turns her away.

Back at Nonnatus house, Phyllis joins the nurses to listen to her new record of Spanish love songs. The nurses discuss the need for something more in their lives: for Phyllis it’s Spanish, for Trixie it’s Keep Fit, and for Patsy it’s…being chums with Delia. Yup, great chums. Bosom buddies. Phyllis encourages the ladies to grab everything life has to offer, and we see a forlorn looking Patsy longing to be her authentic self. It’s such a small character moment, but it’s so poignant.

Midwives slumber party!

Luckily, we get this moment of Patsy pretending to be a boxer defending Phyllis from her much younger classmates.

Phyllis shyly asks the girls for some makeup tips, and they quickly give her a full makeover. New Phyllis attends class and invites Mr. Mason on a picnic date. They agree to a picnic and to seeing a flamenco show together. Get it, Phyllis!

Cynthia weights Connie’s baby and finds him dehydrated and underweight, but Connie is now obsessed with breastfeeding, despite bleeding from the nips. She’s convinced that her inability to breastfeed makes her a bad mum. I wonder where she got that idea. Cynthia tells Sister Evangelina what happened, and warns her to take care with her considerable influence. Evangelina is gutted by the idea that her advice could have harmed people. She apologizes to Connie, and bursts into tears.

As Jesus said to his disciples, “My bad, bro”

Dr. Turner rushes to the docks, where he finds Johnny collapsed with a nosebleed. They take him to the hospital, where he’s diagnosed with pneumonia and leukemia. Stella rushes to his side and apologizes for their fight. Johnny has only days to live and the baby is due in a week, so Stella begs Barb to induce early labor and rush delivery so Johnny can meet his baby before he dies.

Phyllis makes a house call to an elderly woman with senile dementia, and discovers that her husband is Mr. Mason. An embarrassed Phyllis leaves the house with Patsy in tow. Patsy tries to comfort her, telling her that they don’t have to discuss it, but that Phyllis doesn’t have to pretend that nothing happened. Patsy says that they’re constantly keeping the stiff upper lip, and it’s exhausting. Phyllis tells her that she’s quite happy with her life, but for a moment she liked to imagine what if.

What do you say we get drunk and go cruising for strange ass?

First round is on you

Sister Evangelina asks Sister Julienne for a leave of absence to enter an enclosed order. She feels lost, like she has forgotten her calling. She wants to be silent for a while and start listening again. When Sister MJ finds Evangelina packing, she tries to unpack her suitcase, and they both burst into tears at the thought of being separated. They love each other so much! It’s truly heartbreaking.

Monica Joan, is that cake frosting in your wimple?

Mr. Mason visits Phyllis at Nonnatus house in an attempt to explain himself. His wife has been sick for several years now, and he feels like a widower. He wants to know if they can still be friends, but Phyllis is upset about his lying and feels like a fool.

Barb floats the idea of inducing early labor at the dinner table, and the nuns and midwives debate over it. Barb pushes for it, saying that their job as midwives isn’t just to help deliver babies, but to build families. Trixie promises to help her, and they decide to induce labor. We see Stella’s labor and delivery, as Dr. Turner sits by Johnny’s bedside as he wastes away.

The baby is born, and Stella is rushed to the hospital where Johnny meets his son, Little John, before dying.

Pass the tissue box, please.

Later, at Johnny’s funeral, the dock manager swings by and apologizes for being a dick. He gives Stella an envelope of money to help her out, plus the family hook that Johnny pawned. Stella brings leftover sandwiches to the homeless men on the street. She tells Barb that while she is grieving Johnny’s death, she’s not alone because she has Little John with her.

Phyllis attends the flamenco performance and decides to be friends with Mr. Mason. Sister Evangelina leaves for the cloistered order.

What did you think of last night’s episode? Tweet me your feels @ChelseaProcrast

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