Well, I knew something was up when Hilary Duff tweeted: “Tonight’s episode is INSANE.” Maybe Lauren (Molly Bernard) was MIA this time, but Maggie offered up a morning coffee as per usual and some advice for Liza. “Don’t tell Caitlyn the truth.” Maggie brushes it off like she does skinny jeans. She hates them. “But you suck it up,” she advises. Liza’s got time on her hands now—no mentions of Josh anymore. And her kid is curious about where she works.
Still, Maggie tells Liza to cool it on the over-worrying. Oh, Maggie. I hope they let you leave your apartment today—but Maggie in the mornings is way better than Mister Rogers.
At Empirical, a big-time, old man author is coming to town, and it’s the biggest event of the year—Empirical’s livelihood depends on it. The profitable book franchise is coming to an end and Edward L.L. Moore (Richard Masur, who recently made a Season 2 cameo as “Buzz” in Transparent) is here to take to his throne. They’re planning an over-the-top event for his book Crown of Kings (think Game of Thrones) in Times Square—aAnd he wants Liza to be his adored “Princess Pampam.”
His delivery with Liza is a little bit flirty. He tells her the ending of his book and says, “Now, I’ll have to eat you,” and seems mildly serious about it. When Liza gets back home, she tells Maggie about her misadventure and Maggie’s like: “See? Doesn’t matter what decade you’re in, the biggest money-makers get to misbehave!” Wonder if that has anything to do with the following scene when a Harry Winston-made crown arrives for the event and Diana Trout says Donald Trump wants to wear it.
Liza has bigger fish to fry right now (what’s new?) and that’s the sex tape featuring Thad in the bathroom at his work. No one wants Kelsey to marry this guy. Everyone knows he’s bad news. Liza’s pleas with Thad to tell Kelsey the truth come and go and Thad continues to stall for time. Charles invites Liza out to grab a bite after the big book event, where some super adult piano plays in the background and each table is lit with a tiny lamp and you just know what’s coming. Charles’ confession. He’s going to tell Liza he has feelings for her. And she knows it. Does she know it? Doesn’t matter.
Liza suddenly gets a text from Thad—and it’s a #ThrowbackThursday Liza doesn’t want posted to her Instagram, or anywhere else on social media. It’s a photo that proves Liza’s been lying about her age, and if Thad exposes it, she could lose her job, her friends and the two years she’s spent living as new Liza. She agrees to meet with him.
We sit here wondering what’ll happen next: Will Liza crumble and accept Thad’s deal to stay quiet, delete the video, keep her job and keep Thad “happy” so long as Kelsey never finds out? Then Liza does the unthinkable and says “No”! She’s going to tell Kelsey about the sex tape, and he can go ahead and do whatever he wants. He can tell anyone the truth about Liza—she’s over it. In fact, I bet she’s relieved. Sure, let Thad tell everyone—rip off the Band-Aid!
But then, before anyone can even leave the sidewalk corner, a giant cylinder falls from a construction site above them and literally crushes Thad to death. Like. Thad just died Final Destination style. Yep, tonight’s episode was insane.
Next week is the season finale! What’s been bugging you all season that you hope they’ll cover in the final episode? Do you think Maggie and Lauren cooled it on their hot romance because Lauren took Maggie’s advice to just be a free twentysomething? And the biggest question of all: Will Liza tell Kelsey the truth about Thad now that he’s DEAD? Tune in next Wednesday on TV Land and tweet me @the_hoff with all your favorite #MaggieKnowsBest moments.