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“Grey’s Anatomy” recap (12.4) Lavender, everwhere

I never thought I’d say this, but I think Grey’s Anatomy has the happiest queer ladies on television right now. These are people who have gone through windshields, airplane crashes, infidelity, divorce and countless other horrors. These are literally the happiest queer women right now. We were doing so well last year, TV!

Last week we didn’t recap the show since it was an April and Jackson focused episode, but here’s what you need to know: April signed the divorce papers and she’s also preggers. Ain’t that a rub. So let’s tackle this episode that has Arizona vividly describing her sexual conquests and lots and lots of blood.

Meredith and Amelia’s connections to the past

In Owen and Amelia news, they are still visiting Pound Town together. Amelia is 60 days sober and things are looking up, especially in the orgasm department. Bless her heart.

Meanwhile, Meredith walks in on her residents assing off in the cadaver room and rightfully lectures them about respecting the bodies they are privileged enough to learn on. I love teacher Meredith. It suits her.

Because of all the orgasms, I’m guessing, Amelia is in a great mood. She finds a bored Stephanie who is getting tired of all the aneurysm clippings they’ve been doing lately. She wants a big brain fish. Amelia promised her take lead on the next aneurysm that comes in, which brings a big smile to Steph’s face.

A big fish is about to walk through the door indeed, and it’s a familiar fish, too. The patient is Katie Bryce, a young woman who was a patient of Derek’s and managed to sort of torture Meredith on her first day of work in the hospital. Katy isn’t pleased when she sees Amelia, since she’s waiting for the other Dr. Shepherd. Someone get her a cookie and a box of tissues. Both Katie and Meredith are surprised to see one another. Well, Katie is just surprised that Meredith didn’t get canned after her first day.

Katie is now a gymnastics instructor and pretty pissed that her brain is not cooperating. Meredith insists on being kept in the loop on Katie’s progress since she feels a connection to the long-ago patient. Also, it was her first patient with Derek. Conceal don’t feel, Piccoli. OK, I’m good.

Meredith moves on to her patient, Daphne, who is being discharged after finally being cancer-free. Daphne, who is in her 40s, is about to graduate college and make a new life for herself with a clean slate of health. Well, that was until Meredith went to take out her chest port and she started gushing blood. She’s not the only one in danger: Katie Bryce has an aneurysm the size of a golf ball in her head.

While Meredith applies pressure to Daphne’s gusher, Riggs comes in for a consult. Meredith can’t stand the guy so naturally they disagree on the course of treatment. Meredith wants to try the less invasive pressure method and Riggs wants to open her up. They go with Meredith’s idea for the time being. Meredith also sends Penny to check on Katie’s progress…with Amelia. You know, the woman who wants to use Penny’s head as a bowling ball. After a bunch of back and forth, Penny gives up.

When Amelia and Steph explain Katie’s diagnosis, she’s understandably scared. She asks Amelia the same question Amelia has been asking herself her whole life: are you as good as your brother. Welp, Katie, you just opened a can of worms and two decades worth of therapy.

Meredith is still trying to stop Daphne’s gusher, but it looks like she’s going to need surgery. Meredith asks if Daphne wants to contact her son David, who she gave up a few years back when her life was in shambles. Daphne doesn’t want to drag him into this mess, and wants to give him something to be proud of when she does talk to him.

Amelia does her Amelia thing with Owen, backtracking and saying they should stop hooking up. But Owen is like, “Again?!” She confesses to Owen that she’s been avoiding big cases because she’s terrified of screwing up. Owen can’t help but think it’s the patient’s connection to Derek that is filling her with so much doubt. He tells her to get Derek and Meredith’s voice out of her head and be the exceptional surgeon she is. Wow, I agree with Owen.

Things are deteriorating quickly with Daphne and she needs to be moved to the OR right away. Before she is, Riggs and Meredith convince her to call her son. They might as well have said, you are about to die. Anyway, she calls him and he agrees to come see her. As blood rushes out of Daphne, Meredith climbs on top of the gurney to try to stem the bleeding. Mer looks into Daphne’s eyes and tells her to hold on. As they head into the ER, a gurney with Katie on it passes by and Katie nods to Meredith, seeing the doctor she has become after all these years.

Ameila and Steph nail Katie’s surgery, but Daphne passes away on the table. Meredith takes the opportunity to ask Riggs about Owen and his sister. Riggs tells her that he and Meg were working in a war zone and she insisted on riding in a helicopter to transport a patient. He tried to take her place but she was resolute. The helicopter disappeared, and Owen blames Riggs. Who else thought immediately when he said it disappeared that meant Meg was going to show up one of these days soon? I’m betting on it.

Meredith checks in on Katie, who apologizes for being such a pain before. They have both done a lot of growing and it takes a lot of self awareness to acknowledge that. Meredith also tells Katie that Amelia is an excellent surgeon, which Amelia overhears. It’s something she really did need to hear. Amelia closes up Katie’s file and slips in her addition, right next to Derek’s.

Owen stops in, and asks if Amelia wants to start fresh. Forget all the drama of the past, and get to know and enjoy each other for the first real time. She agrees and like Cinderella’s prince, he slips on her boot.

Daphne’s son arrives, and tenderly says goodbye to his mother in the morgue with Meredith and Riggs by his side. Meredith’s voiceover tells us that it’s never too late to change. This is true. Change is just so damn hard. It makes us uncomfortable. Yet, it’s always there and it never stops. It’s an endless opportunity. Change is good.

April moves on

April, who admittedly has been through the ringer the last year, is finally getting her glow back. Yeah, she is getting divorced but she has something on the horizon. She hasn’t told Jackson about the pregnancy yet, mainly because it took all her strength to walk away from the marriage and she doesn’t want this to complicate matters. However, she’s going to start showing soon, so best get on that Kepner. April’s demeanor is unsettling to Jackson, who assumes she’d be feeling terrible. Arizona cautions her friend to tell him about the baby, sooner rather than later, but April will wait until she is ready.

Jackson isn’t sure what to do with his newfound bachelorhood. Try golf? Buy a boat? A unicorn? The other gents commiserate on not understanding ladies. Yes, our complicated lady feelings can be overwhelming.

Callie tries to offer some support to April about divorce and is surprised to hear how amicable April and Jackson’s ended up being. We can back that up. A lot of Calzona tears hath been shed.

April’s pregnancy glow must be positively radioactive because Alex can tell she’s preggers. At first, she thinks Arizona spilled, but he does work in PEDs afterall. He also thinks she should tell Jackson before he picks up on it too.

Arizona gets her swerve on

Ok, so you remember how Richard has been Arizona’s wingman for the past few months? Well, he’s a hell of a good one because Arizona has a bevy of ladies to Netflix and Chill with. Weirdly though, when Richard asks about the girl Arizona took home the other night, she’s quiet as a church mouse. Richard is all of us, Arizona. Spill, girl.

The next time Richard sees Arizona, he presses her for more details. The man is a fixer, he wants to know how after all these ladies he’s managed to introduce Arizona to, he’s heard nothing about any of them. Fine isn’t good enough. Oh, Richard, you are about to get the goods. I’ll let Arizona’s words speak for themselves.

Arizona: It was way better than fine. It turns out that she’s in real estate and an insanely good kisser, and I mean, she knows her way around the neighborhood.

Richard: Oh, where’d you go?

Richard doesn’t catch the vaginal euphemism. Anyway, carry on Robbins.

Arizona: Everywhere, is you know what I’m saying. In the hills, the low country and all around downtown.

Who wrote this? Where do I send the Edible Arrangement? (It was William Harper, actually. Hope you like honeydew, William.)

Anyway, once Richard catches on, it’s super awkward and both are embarrassed. It’s all kinds of adorable.

The next time Arizona and Richard discuss Robbins revolving door, she mentions a lady she calls Artisanal Soap because she smells like lilacs….eerywhere! It’s all too much.

As Arizona is getting ready to go out with Artisanal Soap, Richard tries to have a heart to heart with her about all this dating around. He doesn’t mean it, but he’s being a little slut-shamey. Arizona stops him, and takes a moment to thank him for helping her rediscover this side of herself. She’s having fun, she’s getting off, and it’s ok. She’s embracing it. “You helped me be slutty again,” she tells him. It’s all good Richard. The slutty chick has left the nest, and all is well.

I love this, I really do, but I’m also a little frustrated. All of Arizona’s adventures are happening offscreen. While Deluca and Maggie make out in supply closets, and Amelia and Owen play naked Twister, Arizona is meeting and hooking up with ladies off-screen. Yes, we got a Penny and Callie kiss a couple of episodes ago, but this is a part of Arizona we should get to see. It’s fun, it’s sexy and it’s totally up to us to create it in our imaginations. I’d love something a little more concrete, you know? Maybe later this season.

Father knows best…or does he?

Maggie is all sexually frustrated because she and Deluca aren’t banging in the hospital anymore since they ran into Richard. It’s probably been two days, but Maggie is thirsty.

Speaking of Deluca, Richard requested that he join his service that day. Ben thinks that means Deluca is Richard’s guy now, but in actuality, it’s all about picking up dry cleaning and rectal exams. That’s what you get for kissing and telling, Deluca.

After being run ragged, Deluca finally stops for some lunch but catches Maggie’s eye, so off to the on-call room they go. Except that Deluca gets a page from Webber and everyone’s pants go back on. Hearing that Weber is being so hard on Deluca, Maggie realizes that he knows something. She admits that Webber is her dad, something that Deluca didn’t have a clue about. That wildcat comment is coming to bit him in the ass.

Maggie tries to feel Richard out about Deluca, but no one is willing to completely come clean yet. Richard has Deluca working all night on files, so Maggie tries to put an end to the animosity. Richard agrees to go a little easier on him…after those files get entered. What? Admin stuff is the worst.

Put a ring on it

I want to put this out there: I like Jo. I think she’s smart and capable. She is also the kind of girlfriend I used to have nightmares about. She never knows what she wants, and Alex’s engagement ring sits gathering dust in his night table. When Jo finds it, it sends her on a feelings spiral. She wants to marry Alex-she doesn’t. She doesn’t want to ring-she wants it.

She mulls it over with Steph, and Steph points out that if Jo really wanted the ring, she’d be rocking it on her finger right now. Truth.

Jo decides it’s her right not to decide, which it is, and tells Alex to keep the ring in the drawer. She wants it there, just not on her finger, and Alex is OK with that.

What did you think of “My Next Life?”

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