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“Legends of Tomorrow” recap (1.07): Time Pirates

Previously on Legends of Tomorrow, everyone tried to date Kendra but she said no because Sara is the only one who didn’t ask, Rory found his promised land in post-apocalyptic Star City, but Snart wouldn’t let him stay, and the Team found themselves kind of stranded in space and time.

While trying to figure out where to go next to try to stop Savage, Rip ends up falling into a pity party where he watches a hologram message from his son and wife on loop.

And you thought scrolling through your ex’s Instagram was moping.

Stein finds him to interrupt and tells him that he’s been in this mood for a week now, and Rory is starting to get restless. Cut to Rory growling around and Snart trying to calm him down. He storms off, but Snart doesn’t care because he’s being adorable and playing cards with Sara like they’re not the most badass people on this ship.

WE ARE RUTHLESS KILLERS FEAR US! Hey, got any sixes?

The Waverider intercepts a distress signal and even though it might be a trap, they decide to go in and help because linking up to the other ship’s system might be the only way Gideon can get them enough information to tell them where to go next. Rip, Stein, Jax and Rory are going to go on this mission, so Rip puts Ray in charge of the Waverider and Kendra in charge of making sure Ray doesn’t crash the Waverider and off they go.

Flash back to Rip and his wife, Miranda, on a ship, being attacked by Time Pirates. Despite Rip yelling the opposite things at her for a while, Miranda eventually gets rid of the Pirates her own way. It ended up being a simulation, and even though Rip is grumpy that she didn’t follow protocol, his boss tells him that he should be more like Miranda and less like himself.

I don’t care much about Rip’s backstory, but I’m growing to love Miranda.

Miranda and Rip decide to make out in the hallway because love is stupid, and they get caught by their captain, who sentences them to a disciplinary hearing since relationships are strictly verboten.

Present-day Rip and the boys go onto the ship that signaled distress and are greeted by-SURPRISE!-Time Pirates. Rip says they should join forces, and all be fighting against Savage, but that’s not how pirates work, even in space. Rip warns them that he has a VERY FIERCE team behind him…

…while Ray sits around playing captain like a goofball.

Snart and Sara chat about the Mick Thing a little, and Sara tells him he understands, and to give Mick a chance to come around.

Male ego so fragile.

The pirate calls Ray, and he tries to play captain, but Rip activates one of Gideon’s protocols through the intercom, and the ship starts to fight back on its own. Meanwhile, on the Pirate Ship, Stein takes their systems offline, feeling like quite the action hero.

At one point, while trying to fix the ship, Snart and Sara found themselves trapped in a rapidly cooling room, and the door is jammed shut.

Rip, Jax and Mick are thrown into the brig on the Pirate Ship, and the woman who had sent out the distress signal is there, and she is grumpy and mean and hates Rip for being a rogue Time Master.

On the Waverider, Snart and Sara bond in their icebox. Snart asks what dying is like, and Sara says it’s not as scary as she thought it would be, just lonely. And that even though she doesn’t like him much, she’s glad she’s not alone.

I’m glad she’s not alone, too!

On the Pirate Ship, Rip loses his temper and ends up telling Mick that he was only recruited because he and Snart were a twofer. Rip tells him that he has the IQ of meat, and while he’s not wrong, it’s not a very nice thing to say. Mick isn’t the type to just stand there and take this, though, so he takes things into his own hands, telling the pirate captain that if he lets him go, he’ll give him the Waverider, as long as he drops him back in Star City 2016 so he can never join this team in the first place.

In the icebox, Snart says that if he ever left Mick he’d be a loose cannon, but Sara says he can’t hold onto the cannon forever, that Snart will ever be able to change him, he’ll always be a loose canon. They snuggle together for warmth but in a very friendly survival way, not a sexual way.

Thank you, show, for not going to the naked snuggling place.

Stein breaks Jax and Rip out of the Pirate Ship brig, wearing a beret and feeling adorably proud of himself.

Ray floats around in space, trying to fix the wall of the spaceship to save Snart and Sara, but he’s running out of oxygen quickly, so Kendra talks to him to keep him conscious.

It’s kind of adorable but whatever.

Ray passes out in space but manages to make it back to the ship before passing out. Kendra uses her hawk goddess strength to punch him back to life, and everything’s fine.

Gideon tells the four Legends left that Mick is boarding the ship and that he escaped, but they can sense something’s a little off as he enters.

I’d be down with this being the entire team.

Pirates follow him out, and their worries are proven correct; he betrayed them. Snart pretends to play along for a minute, but it’s just to get closer so they can all fight better. Mick heads for the time drive that the pirates want while everyone fights, but Sara intercepts him before he gets it.

Ho, don’t do it.

She users her spidermonkey ninja skills to fight him, but he’s very big and gives her a run for her money. Plus, he has a fire gun. Luckily Snart joins her soon enough, and they take him down.

On the Pirate Ship, Rip uses his wife’s foolproof plan to float the pirates, and as a thank you, the gumpy Time Master lady tells Rip that his next best shot at Savage is in the 1950s with Betty McRae.

On the Waverider, Ray thanks Kendra for saving his life and tells her that she’s strong and awesome and in return she kisses him. I don’t HATE it? But I don’t love it. We’ll see where this goes.

At this week’s roundtable post-mortem, they discuss what to do with Mick. They can’t keep him in the brig forever, and they can’t bring him back to Star City 2016 because that’s where his family is, where Sara’s family is.

“And my Nyssa.”

But Snart says he’ll handle it. He drags Mick outside and shoots him with his freeze ray.

What did you think of “Marooned”? Do you think Snart really killed Mick? Did he cut the fat on the team, or just freeze him temporarily? Are you excited to see Ali Liebert next week?

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